A single mother writes to Rebecca Eckler, an advice columnist, expressing concern about her 16-year-old daughter's recent change in behavior from kind and helpful to sullen and uncooperative. The mother describes how her daughter began showing signs of anger after attempting suicide two years ago, and she fears pushing the right buttons might trigger another crisis. Rebecca responds with empathy, advising that being a parent to a teenager is challenging enough without carrying the fear of the past incident. She suggests seeking professional help if the situation worsens and encourages balancing care with setting boundaries.
Written by the local model on 2026-09-15,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Ask Rebecca is smart, honest advice to readers’ questions about life, family and relationships by columnist Rebecca Eckler.
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Ask → ask → Eckler
You can also send an email to NPadvice@postmedia.com.
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You → send → NPadvice@postmedia.com
Dear Rebecca:
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My incredible 16-year-old daughter has turned into a monster.
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daughter → turn → monster
From birth until 14, she was kind, lovable, helpful, understanding and an amazing person.
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she → understand → 14
I’m a single mother, and it’s just the two of us, but we managed to live together peacefully and happily.
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we → ’m → us
I work extremely hard to earn enough to pay the rent, bills and necessities.
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I → work → rent
Two years ago, she called me at work and said she wanted to hurt herself.
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she → call → herself
I took her to the hospital immediately.
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I → take → hospital
After that, she started showing small signs of anger and frustration, but nothing we couldn’t handle.
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we → start → anger
When she’d get upset, she’d come to me, and we’d talk it out.
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we → get → it
But when she needed parenting, I was often too delicate, afraid to upset her and make her depressed again.
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her → need → her
Now she’s constantly sulking around, won’t clean her room, won’t help with chores, won’t talk to me at all, won’t not even say hello.
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she → sulk → me
She refuses to speak to any professional.
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She → refuse → professional
She claims she’s fine, but she’s not.
uncertain
she → claim → ?
I’m upset, tired, and frustrated.
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I → ’m → ?
Worst of all, I’m terrified of saying something that will send her over the edge.
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that → ’m → edge
Please tell me this changes — I miss my darling daughter so much.
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I → tell → daughter
— Mother on Eggshells
Dear Mother on Eggshells:
First, I don’t think your daughter is a monster.
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daughter → think → Eggshells
I think she’s 16.
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she → think → ?
And I say that with enormous compassion for anyone living with one right now.
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I → say → one
Sixteen-year-olds are not an easy species to live with.
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olds → live → ?
I should also say the obvious but important thing.
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I → say → thing
I’m an advice columnist, not a mental-health professional.
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I → ’m → ?
If at any point you believe your daughter is in immediate danger of harming herself, call 911 or get her to the nearest ER.
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daughter → believe → ER
There are few things more upsetting than having a child who once demanded you hug her while she did #2 suddenly behave as if your chewing is an irritating habit you’ve developed just to annoy her.
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you → be → her
But something more complicated is happening here.
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something → happen → ?
It started with the phone call no parent ever wants to receive.
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parent → start → call
Your 14-year-old daughter called you at work and told you she wanted to hurt herself.
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she → call → herself
Of course you took her seriously and rushed her to the hospital.
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you → take → hospital
But I think you brought something home with you that day, too.
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you → think → you
Once your child tells you something like that, it changes the way you hear every slammed door, every silence and every just leave me alone.
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you → tell → me
For the last two years, you haven’t just been parenting a teenager.
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you → parent → teenager
You’ve been parenting one while carrying around the terrifying knowledge that she had once been in enough pain to consider hurting herself.
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she → parent → herself
Somewhere along the way, fear turned into a family dynamic in which your daughter’s unhappiness became something you feel responsible for preventing.
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you → turn → which
You are responsible for taking her mental health seriously and paying attention.
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You → take → attention
But you are not responsible for making sure your 16-year-old is never angry, frustrated, disappointed or pissed off at her mother.
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is → make → mother
The first deserves compassion.
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first → deserve → compassion
The second requires boundaries.
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second → require → boundaries
Sulking is behaviour.
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Sulking → sulk → ?
Refusing chores is behaviour.
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Refusing → refuse → chores
…and 43 more, not listed.
The Aporia
