My friend’s son has been suspended from school for making a racial slur.
asserted
son → suspend → slur
My friend is understandably upset, obviously at her son but also because that goes on his school record, according to the principal.
uncertain
that → go → principal
He’s only nine years old and she’s worried this will follow him through to university.
asserted
this → ’ → university
I don’t think it will, but I don’t know.
asserted
I → think → ?
Also, she doesn’t know how to explain to her son why he got suspended because the word he used is in every song he listens to, every movie he watches, and is thrown around among his own peer group.
asserted
he → know → group
I understand what she is saying, but I don’t know how to help her.
asserted
I → understand → her
Shouldn’t the school have a policy across the board, no matter who is uttering these words?
asserted
who → have → words
According to my research, any suspension from kindergarten to Grade 3 gets automatically permanently erased.
uncertain
suspension → accord → Grade
If he’s in Ontario, then his suspension letter will remain in his record (Ontario Student Record) for five years.
asserted
letter → ’ → years
However, most elementary school suspension records rarely follow a student even into high school, so your friend needn’t worry that it will follow her son through to university.
asserted
it → follow → university
Unfortunately, her son is caught in the vortex of what is known as linguistic appropriation.
asserted
what → catch → appropriation
Historically, when a word or phrase has been used to demonize or demoralize a group, that group sometimes takes that word and uses it themselves, stripping it of its power.
asserted
group → use → power
The key is that only they can use the word that way.
asserted
they → use → word
Anyone else who uses it will mostly be assumed to to be using it in a hurtful way.
asserted
who → use → way
I think it’s worth a meeting with the school principal to discuss how children need to be taught, from clearly a very young age, about language and how words can have very different meanings depending on how they are used and who is using them.
asserted
who → think → them
Lastly, perhaps his parents monitoring his music and movie choices would minimize those words entering his vocabulary.
asserted
parents → monitor → vocabulary
We went for a casual walk to a new coffee shop.
asserted
We → go → shop
When we arrived, there were two puppies frolicking on the porch and my wife wanted to play.
asserted
wife → arrive → porch
I said I would go in and order her coffee.
asserted
I → say → coffee
I went inside and ordered her coffee EXACTLY the way she likes it.
asserted
she → go → it
I turned away while they were making it, paid and took the coffee out to her, with the lid on.
asserted
lid → turn → her
She took one sip and freaked out!
asserted
She → take → sip
I was so embarrassed and so angry, I just walked away without a word.
asserted
I → embarrass → word
And I didn’t stop until I was several blocks away from the shop, when she caught up to me.
asserted
she → stop → me
How do we work through this?
asserted
we → work → this
I like my coffee very sweet and very milky.
asserted
I → like → coffee
The ONLY time I could ever see myself reacting inappropriately is if I took a big gulp of a black coffee.
uncertain
I → see → coffee
But your wife’s specifics focus on when the flavours are added in, not if.
asserted
flavours → focus → if
She must have a very sensitive palate to know that the sweetener has been added before the coffee as opposed to after.
asserted
sweetener → have → coffee
Either way, to demean you in front of a store full of strangers is beyond rude.
asserted
demean → demean → strangers
Especially since she could have just gone in and had them fix her coffee.
uncertain
them → go → coffee
She needs to apologize — and you need to never offer to get her coffee again.
asserted
you → need → coffee
Reader: “A lady in my apartment building was in a similar situation and was going to be evicted for nonpayment of rent.
asserted
lady → go → rent
I helped her move to a women’s shelter.
asserted
her → help → shelter
She was much happier there where she made friends and was helped in accessing a monthly income, which then enabled her to move to permanent housing.
asserted
which → make → housing
The staff at the shelter provided support when she was in crisis.”
asserted
she → provide → crisis
It’s amazing how those endorphins can clear your head.
asserted
endorphins → ’ → head
I guarantee that after your walk, you’ll have a different outlook, and things will begin to look clearer.
asserted
things → guarantee → outlook
Even the simple massaging action of the water will feel great.
asserted
action → feel → water
Often their offices have references to services that can help.
asserted
that → have → services
…and 1 more, not listed.
The Aporia
