My husband and I got engaged after three years together.
asserted
husband → get → years
We opted for a short engagement as we both just wanted to get married.
asserted
we → opt → engagement
We had a loose plan on how long we would remain just the two of us before we started our family.
asserted
we → have → family
It’s slightly earlier than we had planned, but we’ve just found out I’m pregnant.
asserted
I → ’ → ?
We’re thrilled and I can’t wait to tell my family and his.
asserted
I → ’re → family
There’s only one issue: my older brother and his wife have been trying for a while to conceive and are having difficulties.
asserted
brother → ’ → difficulties
They’ve just started their first round of testing to decipher where the problem lies, so they can hopefully work around that.
asserted
they → start → that
How do I tell them I’m pregnant and not upset them when they are trying so hard to conceive?
asserted
they → tell → them
I love my brother and sister-in-law and want them to be happy for me and share in my excitement, but I don’t want to rub this in their face or hurt them in any way.
asserted
I → love → way
Up the Duff
A Life is full of celebrations and sadness, and sometimes they occur simultaneously.
asserted
they → occur → celebrations
Religiously, celebration usually trumps sadness because joy is eternal and grief is temporary.
asserted
grief → trump → sadness
Or they coexist through communal respect.
asserted
they → coexist → respect
I suggest you tell your parents separately (or with your husband’s parents) so they can show their excitement at becoming grandparents.
asserted
they → suggest → excitement
And if you have other siblings, you can tell them as well allowing everyone to show their full emotion (hopefully excitement) at your news.
asserted
everyone → have → news
You’re thoughtful and kind to not want to hurt their feelings, but you can’t not tell them.
asserted
you → ’re → them
My great-aunt is in her late 80s and has decided to start getting rid of everything.
asserted
aunt → decide → everything
Whenever anyone goes over to her house they leave with something in hand.
asserted
they → go → hand
My mom, her sister, passed away years ago, so I’m the only connection to extended family.
asserted
I → pass → family
She has a son and two daughters of her own, my cousins, but they’re not interested in any of her stuff, especially since two of them live on the other side of the country.
asserted
two → have → country
I worry my great-aunt will give precious items away to people who aren’t family or close friends.
asserted
who → worry → people
I was over for lunch last week when an electrician was fixing some wiring in the kitchen.
asserted
electrician → fix → kitchen
He saw a porcelain rabbit on her counter and exclaimed how his young daughter loved rabbits.
asserted
daughter → see → rabbits
He wasn’t phishing, just making conversation, but it prompted her to give him the porcelain figurine.
asserted
it → phishe → figurine
It wasn’t a precious item as far as I was concerned, but I’m not her children so I may not know the significance of everything — and I just happened to be there.
How do I talk to my cousins and my great-aunt to ensure she doesn’t give away family heirlooms to random strangers?
uncertain
she → concern → strangers
Assuming your great-aunt is fully compos mentis, I suggest she invite her children over and they go through her home with her, using colour-coded stickers to choose the items they want.
asserted
they → assume → items
If she really wants to get rid of her stuff, they could take whatever they want right then, or leave it for a later date, knowing it’s been marked off as theirs.
uncertain
it → want → theirs
Then hopefully, when the postal worker knocks on the door, or the plumber is called, they don’t leave with the family jewels.
asserted
they → knock → jewels
The only issue is many elderly people suffer from even the mildest form of memory loss, and/or the stickers could fall off, and then that item could become up for grabs.
uncertain
item → suffer → grabs
The next time you’re visiting your great-aunt, you could put your name on some items you’d like to have.
uncertain
you → visit → items
FEEDBACK Regarding now who’s laughing (July 4):
asserted
who → regard → ?
I had trouble understanding, as I have a university degree.
asserted
I → have → degree
During high school he discovered love and aptitude for landscaping.
asserted
he → discover → landscaping
We had the best-looking garden in our neighbourhood.
asserted
We → have → neighbourhood
“Some people learn by reading, some by doing.”
asserted
some → learn → reading
“My younger son and his wife took the out-of-order route, and I had no problem with it as they were and still are both fully committed to their child and each other.
asserted
they → take → child
“Doesn’t mean these couples might not someday split up as many married people do.
uncertain
people → mean → ?
But that doesn’t justify starting a family when one partner clearly isn’t fully committed.
asserted
partner → justify → family
They need to consider all the ramifications of having a child.”
asserted
They → need → child
The Aporia
