I’m in a friend group of four women.
asserted
I → ’m → women
One of the women and her husband bought a cottage a few years ago.
asserted
One → buy → cottage
She invited us up for a weekend the first summer they owned it.
asserted
they → invite → it
We all brought up food and were perfect cottage guests, cleaning up before we left.
asserted
we → bring → food
We are in a group text together and chat almost daily.
asserted
We → chat → group
Ever since that initial visit it’s been crickets about inviting us again, yet she never stops talking about all the guests they’re constantly having.
asserted
they → invite → guests
I waited to ask you about this because I was hoping she would invite us up at some point, even after the summer rush.
asserted
she → wait → rush
Can she not see how this is hurting our feelings?
asserted
this → see → feelings
How do we handle this?
asserted
we → handle → this
With such a small group I imagine you get together often, especially if you chat almost daily.
asserted
you → imagine → group
It doesn’t have to be an intervention, or even a gang-up.
asserted
It → have → ?
It’s three friends wondering why their fourth hasn’t invited them back up to the cottage.
asserted
fourth → ’ → cottage
You may think you were perfect guests, but she may feel otherwise.
uncertain
she → think → ?
Another explanation could be if they only go up during the summer, they are still trying to get all their friends up once before inviting people back for a second time.
uncertain
they → go → time
And the summer is a short season, especially if they only have weekends to entertain.
asserted
they → have → weekends
Bottom line — you’ll never know unless you ask.
asserted
you → know → ?
My sister and I found out our mom has been having an affair.
asserted
mom → find → affair
We tried to figure out who the other man is but neither of us recognize his name and he’s not showing up on social media.
asserted
he → try → media
Aside from not knowing him, we’re not all that surprised.
asserted
we → know → him
Our dad has really let himself go and isn’t the same as he used to be.
asserted
he → let → ?
The photos of them together, dating and when they first married showed him young, athletic and really handsome.
asserted
him → date → them
We obviously recognize people age, but he’s lost all his hair and gained about 50 pounds.
asserted
he → recognize → pounds
He does nothing athletic, as in no sports or exercise whatsoever.
asserted
He → do → sports
Mom, however, has kept herself looking great all these years except for when we were little.
asserted
we → keep → ?
My sister was sick for a few years and our mom suffered through significant weight fluctuation, skin irritations and gut issues.
asserted
mom → suffer → fluctuation
It all stemmed from stress, nerves and anxiety revolving around my sister’s health.
asserted
It → stem → health
But mom has been healthy and active for at least the past 10 years and looks fabulous.
asserted
mom → look → years
Dad also doesn’t like to do anything.
asserted
Dad → like → anything
He comes home from work and plunks in front of the TV, watching sports (ironic) and eating unhealthy foods.
asserted
He → come → foods
Mom is always suggesting they go out, even to watch a live game, but he refuses.
asserted
he → suggest → game
We think he’s depressed.
asserted
he → think → ?
How do we get our dad to wake up and see his behaviour is pushing mom away?
asserted
behaviour → get → mom
And how do we get Mom to give our dad another chance?
asserted
Mom → get → chance
Talk to your dad and tell him you’re both worried about him.
asserted
you → talk → him
Suggest he see a doctor for a health checkup.
asserted
he → suggest → checkup
He may just need a shakeup and a mirror.
uncertain
He → need → shakeup
If you feel comfortable, talk to your mom and tell her you and your sister know about the affair.
asserted
you → feel → affair
You could also suggest they see a marriage counsellor.
uncertain
they → suggest → counsellor
Reader: “I’ve had experience with diabetes.
asserted
I → have → diabetes
Type 1, or what they used to call juvenile diabetes, is very serious.
asserted
they → use → what
…and 11 more, not listed.
The Aporia
