A year ago, a supposed friend of mine asked to borrow some money.
asserted
friend → ask → money
Her husband had left the country so he could renew his visa to come back and work.
uncertain
he → leave → visa
They have kids.
asserted
They → have → kids
The wife’s car was repossessed while he was gone, and she had no way to get to work.
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she → repossess → work
She borrowed $3,000 from me to get her car back.
asserted
She → borrow → car
A few months later, she borrowed another $1,200.
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she → borrow → 1,200
I was a fool to give it to her, but I was thinking of her kids.
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I → give → kids
Her husband did make it back, and they are both working now.
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they → make → it
I have texted her about the money she owes me, but she just ignores me.
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she → texte → me
They had enough money to take the kids to Florida recently.
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They → have → Florida
How do I get past the sadness?
asserted
I → get → sadness
I could really use the money back.
uncertain
I → use → money
Do I just try to let it go?
asserted
it → try → ?
You should have let it go the moment you handed the money over.
asserted
you → let → money
When a friend asks for money, it’s rarely a loan.
asserted
it → ask → money
You should always consider it a gift — and be pleasantly surprised if they ever pay you back.
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they → consider → you
Despite her inexcusable behavior, I’m sure this friend appreciates your kindness in saving her family from a distressing situation.
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friend → ’m → situation
It was a good deed, and I’m sorry you’ve been repaid with silence.
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you → ’m → silence
I lost my brother last year to a brain aneurysm.
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I → lose → aneurysm
We were very close, and I am still struggling with it.
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I → struggle → it
His birthday was this month, and I spent the day honoring him.
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I → spend → him
However, other family members are telling me I should be “over it” by now.
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I → tell → it
Am I wrong for still experiencing grief?
asserted
I → experience → grief
I wasn’t aware there is a time limit.
asserted
I → be → ?
Grief isn’t something that people “get over” like a case of measles or flu.
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people → get → flu
When a loved one dies, the pain of that loss can remain with us to a greater or lesser degree as we adjust to the ache we feel inside.
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we → love → ache
This doesn’t happen on anyone else’s timetable.
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This → happen → timetable
Some people find joining a grief support group helpful.
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joining → find → group
Perhaps you should consider it.
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you → consider → it
The man I thought to be the love of my life dumped me more than 10 years ago.
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I → think → me
He’s currently going through a divorce.
asserted
He → go → divorce
We have been communicating for the past four years while I’ve been in a good relationship with someone.
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I → communicate → someone
This lost love has expressed his feelings of loss, but I can’t seem to relax and express my feelings.
asserted
I → lose → feelings
He will soon be divorced, and I still don’t think I should give him a chance to repeat the past.
asserted
I → divorce → past
In your case, if you are still “in a good relationship with someone” other than this ex, I’m not sure why you’d even consider rocking the boat.
asserted
you → ’m → boat
In fact, it may be best if you have as little contact with your ex as possible.
uncertain
you → have → ex
He was no good for you then, and he can only cause trouble now.
asserted
he → cause → trouble
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
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Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
asserted
which → pen → mother
The Aporia
