A reader named Unsettled from Texas writes to Dear Abby about her struggles with her husband's addiction relapse after years of sobriety, financial debt due to living separately, and strained relationships with her adult children over political differences. At 62, she feels isolated but finds peace with her pets in her late mother’s home, while dealing with PTSD from past trauma. Abby advises consulting a family law attorney about divorce options to gain independence from her husband's control of finances.
Written locally by qwen2.5:14b on 2026-10-11,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
DEAR ABBY: The writer's mother and beloved dog died within six months of each other. Her husband has battled addiction for years; after a 10-year period of sobriety, he relapsed. She has two children from her first marriage who rarely speak to her due to political disagreements, while her spouse is now heavily involved in his addiction again. The writer suffers from PTSD and social anxiety stemming from a traumatic teen incident. Six months ago, she moved into her late mother's home, which is jointly owned by siblings. She receives an allowance from her husband but has fallen $10,000 into debt since living apart. Despite being lonely, the isolation offers her peace, and she enjoys staying busy without working. Her spouse controls their finances, complicating her desire for independence and solitude.
Written for “Addiction Strains Marriage” on 2026-10-11,
grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.
My mom and my wonderful canine companion passed away within six months.
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mom → pass → months
My husband has battled addiction for years.
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husband → battle → years
I discovered the extent of it after I had two small children and was ending our marriage.
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I → discover → marriage
He went to AA, sobered up and was wonderful for the next 10 years.
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He → go → years
During that time, we had two more children.
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we → have → children
We sacrificed enormously to give them everything, including college educations.
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We → sacrifice → educations
Now my children rarely speak to me, and one won’t speak to me at all because of politics.
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one → speak → politics
My spouse has returned to his addiction.
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spouse → return → addiction
Grief over losing my two best friends has overwhelmed me.
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Grief → lose → me
Although I am terribly lonely, I suffer terrible social anxiety due to a traumatic incident in my teens.
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I → suffer → teens
Six months ago, I moved into my mother’s home, which is jointly owned by surviving siblings.
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which → move → siblings
I keep myself busy, and I am enjoying the most peace I have ever had in my life.
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I → keep → life
I have been diagnosed with PTSD and have had years of therapy.
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I → diagnose → therapy
I don’t work.
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I → work → ?
My spouse gives me an allowance, but living apart has resulted in my being in debt.
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my → give → debt
I just want to be left alone, but my spouse controls the purse strings.
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spouse → want → strings
He doesn’t mind the separation because it allows him to continue his addiction.
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him → mind → addiction
Everything I pursued in my life — marriage, career, family — has amounted to nothing.
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I → pursue → nothing
At 62, I’m tired of trying.
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I → ’m → 62
I take medicine.
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I → take → medicine
My internist knows of the trauma I suffered and is good at staying on top of my mental health.
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I → know → health
You state that you and your husband are separated, and that he controls the purse strings.
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he → state → strings
It’s time to talk with a family law attorney about what your financial picture would look like if you were to divorce.
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you → ’ → what
I wouldn’t want to live alone at 62, but if that’s the lifestyle you prefer, I won’t judge.
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I → want → 62
My wife’s family holds gatherings several times a year for various holidays.
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family → hold → holidays
I’m always invited and warmly welcomed.
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I → ’m → ?
Over the last 30 years, their family has grown, with many grandchildren and now great-grandchildren.
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family → grow → grandchildren
We always arrive before the scheduled noon meal to chat and socialize.
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We → arrive → meal
The patriarch is known for being eager to eat at the appointed time, but for the past three or four years, the matriarch has insisted no one begin eating until the final guest arrives — often 30 minutes to an hour late.
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guest → know → years
As a guest, I’d never bring this up, not even to my wife, but I’m curious about your thoughts: Is it good manners to make those who arrive on time wait for those who can’t seem to?
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who → bring → those
The host should make every effort to begin the meal at the time mentioned in the invitation.
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host → make → invitation
Even so, latecomers should not be made to feel guilty; the in-progress meal will convey the message louder than words.
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meal → make → words
The host should simply extend a warm welcome and a plate before returning to the more respectful guests.
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host → extend → guests
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
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Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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which → pen → mother
The Aporia
