This article features a series of advice columns from "Dear Abby" addressing various personal issues. One reader in his sixties asks if it's reasonable to date and marry his first cousin who is also divorced and in her sixties; Abby confirms it’s legal but advises caution due to potential family dynamics. Another column discusses sibling estrangement and cancer diagnosis, while a third addresses car etiquette after a friend’s messy behavior during a day trip.
Written locally by qwen2.5:14b on 2026-10-10,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
A man in his 60s from New Jersey lost his wife two years ago and fell in love with his first cousin, who is also divorced and a lawyer. According to the legal reference site Justia, marrying a first cousin is legal in New Jersey. However, Dear Abby advises caution as he should ensure the woman shares mutual feelings before taking any romantic steps, to avoid damaging a family relationship.
Written for “Cousin Marriage Advice” on 2026-10-10,
grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.
I am a man in his 60s who lost his wife two years ago to a heart attack.
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who → lose → attack
I have fallen in love with my cousin, who is also in her 60s, divorced and a lawyer.
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who → fall → 60s
Is it reasonable for me to ask her to go with me on dates?
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me → ask → dates
Can a man marry his first cousin?
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man → marry → cousin
According to the free legal reference website Justia (law.justia.com), first cousins are not listed among the types of forbidden marriages or civil unions in the state of New Jersey.
uncertain
cousins → accord → Jersey
In other words, yes, it seems to be legal where you live.
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you → seem → words
Even so, you will want to tread very carefully here.
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you → want → ?
You say you’ve fallen in love with her, but are you sure she has romantic feelings for you?
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she → say → you
If not, you risk alienating a family member you deeply respect and admire.
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you → risk → member
I have two brothers, “Derek” and “Paul,” who have not spoken to each other in more than six years.
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who → have → years
There was no falling-out; they’re simply bad at communicating (even with other siblings).
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they → be → siblings
Last year, Derek wanted to get together with all the siblings, but Paul wouldn’t come (no reason given).
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Paul → want → siblings
I just found out that Derek has terminal cancer.
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Derek → find → cancer
He doesn’t want Paul to know.
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Paul → want → ?
I assume it has to do with Paul not wanting to get together, which hurt Derek’s feelings.
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which → assume → feelings
I believe Paul should be told about Derek’s condition.
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Paul → believe → condition
What is the best way to get Derek to reconsider informing Paul of his diagnosis?
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Derek → get → diagnosis
You and your family have my sympathy for Derek’s condition.
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You → have → condition
It’s not wise to assume anything in a situation like this.
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It → ’ → this
If you want to know why Derek is keeping his cancer a secret from Paul, ask him.
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Derek → want → him
Tell him you’re there for him and will help him break the news if he would like.
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he → tell → news
Meanwhile, approach Paul to plan a sibling get-together that would fit his schedule.
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that → approach → schedule
If he still refuses, it’s likely these two have problems you’re unaware of that go beyond poor communication skills.
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that → refuse → skills
I recently took a friend on a day trip.
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I → take → trip
While I was driving, she took out her clippers and trimmed her fingernails in my car.
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she → drive → car
Later, when she changed into her walking shoes, she put the soles of these shoes on the dash of my car to tie them.
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she → change → them
Thank goodness there wasn’t a pebble stuck in the bottom, or my dashboard would have been scratched in addition to the dirt.
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dashboard → thank → dirt
I was dumbstruck that someone would do this in someone else’s nice car.
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someone → do → car
What is a good way to ask that these things stop?
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things → ask → ?
The most effective way to have delivered the message to your disrespectful friend would have been to say, clearly and firmly, “Excuse me!
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way → deliver → me
I don’t want footprints on my dashboard or nail clippings in my car.
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I → want → car
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
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Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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which → pen → mother
The Aporia
