We are three sisters who grew up in a loving household, open and communicative with each other and our parents.
asserted
who → grow → other
Our father died suddenly last year and it threw us all for a curve.
asserted
it → die → curve
Our mother was rocked to the core and has had a very sad year.
asserted
mother → rock → year
She’s young and still working but had to take a leave of absence because her grief was all-consuming.
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grief → ’ → absence
I moved back home after university, so I’ve been with her all year.
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I → move → her
My younger sister is away at university but took the semester off after our father died and came home for those few months.
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father → take → months
It was just so sudden it really threw us all off and we needed to be together.
asserted
we → throw → us
The problem is my older sister, who lives with her boyfriend not that far away from us.
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who → live → us
She threw herself into her work and her own life and hasn’t really been there for us, meaning myself, my little sister and my mom.
asserted
She → throw → myself
Whenever I reach out to her by phone she doesn’t answer.
asserted
she → reach → phone
If I text she lets it go unread and doesn’t reply.
asserted
it → text → ?
She doesn’t respond to any type of communication.
asserted
She → respond → communication
I know this is very hurtful for my mom, but she’s incapable of dealing with any more emotion at this time.
asserted
she → know → time
I know my little sister is sad, missing her and becoming angry at her absence.
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sister → know → absence
And to be honest, I’m starting to have the same emotions.
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I → start → emotions
How can I talk to her if she won’t pick up the phone?
asserted
she → talk → phone
Everyone grieves differently, so don’t judge your sister right now.
asserted
Everyone → grieve → sister
That doesn’t mean you have to be happy about the way she’s behaving, just understanding and forgiving.
asserted
she → mean → way
I know you said she’s not responding to you in any way but keep trying.
asserted
she → know → way
If she doesn’t live far, and you have the emotional energy, pick up some coffee and knock on her door.
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you → live → door
When she answers, wrap her up in a big hug.
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she → answer → hug
She probably needs it but can’t ask.
asserted
She → need → it
Perhaps by avoiding you, your sister and your mom, she’s avoiding dealing with her own grief.
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she → avoid → grief
Maybe she doesn’t have the strength to walk into your house knowing your father isn’t there and won’t be coming home.
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father → have → house
Maybe her grief is so enveloping that she doesn’t have the capacity to deal with anyone else’s.
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she → envelop → anyone
From your description, you can shoulder your mother’s pain while managing your own.
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you → shoulder → own
That takes a lot of strength.
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That → take → strength
Your older sister seemingly doesn’t have that right now.
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sister → have → that
Be there for her until she’s capable of being there for you.
asserted
she → ’ → you
My boyfriend keeps trying to cook these extravagant meals for me that he finds on TikTok.
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he → try → TikTok
The first attempt was pretty, and looked like the video but tasted terrible.
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attempt → look → video
We laughed and ordered pizza.
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We → laugh → pizza
But the more he tried the worse the meals were.
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meals → try → ?
Some just turned out as piles of mush.
asserted
Some → turn → mush
I do love that he’s trying but I can’t bear to watch him waste any more food, nor can I stomach another slice of pizza.
What do I do?
asserted
I → love → What
Your boyfriend certainly gets points for trying.
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boyfriend → get → points
Why don’t you find a recipe you think you two could have fun making together.
uncertain
two → find → fun
Plan a date night that includes grocery shopping, prepping, cleaning up while it cooks and dining together.
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it → plan → shopping
Working together as a team will highlight both of your strengths — and your areas of weakness.
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Working → work → weakness
Everyone has them so don’t be shy.
asserted
Everyone → have → them
…and 10 more, not listed.
The Aporia
