The author's father died suddenly last year, affecting their entire family. The author's younger sister took time off from university to be with the family, but the older sister is absent, refusing to communicate by phone or text. The author feels hurt and angry about this behavior, which they believe is hurting their mother who is still grieving. The article offers advice from a "grief expert" suggesting that the author's sister may be avoiding dealing with her own grief and needs support.
Written by the local model on 2026-09-11,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
We are three sisters who grew up in a loving household, open and communicative with each other and our parents.
asserted
who → grow → other
Our father died suddenly last year and it threw us all for a curve.
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it → die → curve
Our mother was rocked to the core and has had a very sad year.
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mother → rock → year
She’s young and still working but had to take a leave of absence because her grief was all-consuming.
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grief → ’ → absence
I moved back home after university, so I’ve been with her all year.
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I → move → her
My younger sister is away at university but took the semester off after our father died and came home for those few months.
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father → take → months
It was just so sudden it really threw us all off and we needed to be together.
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we → throw → us
The problem is my older sister, who lives with her boyfriend not that far away from us.
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who → live → us
She threw herself into her work and her own life and hasn’t really been there for us, meaning myself, my little sister and my mom.
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She → throw → myself
Whenever I reach out to her by phone she doesn’t answer.
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she → reach → phone
If I text she lets it go unread and doesn’t reply.
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it → text → ?
She doesn’t respond to any type of communication.
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She → respond → communication
I know this is very hurtful for my mom, but she’s incapable of dealing with any more emotion at this time.
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she → know → time
I know my little sister is sad, missing her and becoming angry at her absence.
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sister → know → absence
And to be honest, I’m starting to have the same emotions.
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I → start → emotions
How can I talk to her if she won’t pick up the phone?
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she → talk → phone
Everyone grieves differently, so don’t judge your sister right now.
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Everyone → grieve → sister
That doesn’t mean you have to be happy about the way she’s behaving, just understanding and forgiving.
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she → mean → way
I know you said she’s not responding to you in any way but keep trying.
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she → know → way
If she doesn’t live far, and you have the emotional energy, pick up some coffee and knock on her door.
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you → live → door
When she answers, wrap her up in a big hug.
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she → answer → hug
She probably needs it but can’t ask.
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She → need → it
Perhaps by avoiding you, your sister and your mom, she’s avoiding dealing with her own grief.
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she → avoid → grief
Maybe she doesn’t have the strength to walk into your house knowing your father isn’t there and won’t be coming home.
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father → have → house
Maybe her grief is so enveloping that she doesn’t have the capacity to deal with anyone else’s.
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she → envelop → anyone
From your description, you can shoulder your mother’s pain while managing your own.
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you → shoulder → own
That takes a lot of strength.
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That → take → strength
Your older sister seemingly doesn’t have that right now.
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sister → have → that
Be there for her until she’s capable of being there for you.
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she → ’ → you
My boyfriend keeps trying to cook these extravagant meals for me that he finds on TikTok.
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he → try → TikTok
The first attempt was pretty, and looked like the video but tasted terrible.
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attempt → look → video
We laughed and ordered pizza.
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We → laugh → pizza
But the more he tried the worse the meals were.
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meals → try → ?
Some just turned out as piles of mush.
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Some → turn → mush
I do love that he’s trying but I can’t bear to watch him waste any more food, nor can I stomach another slice of pizza.
What do I do?
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I → love → What
Your boyfriend certainly gets points for trying.
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boyfriend → get → points
Why don’t you find a recipe you think you two could have fun making together.
uncertain
two → find → fun
Plan a date night that includes grocery shopping, prepping, cleaning up while it cooks and dining together.
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it → plan → shopping
Working together as a team will highlight both of your strengths — and your areas of weakness.
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Working → work → weakness
Everyone has them so don’t be shy.
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Everyone → have → them
…and 10 more, not listed.
