When I was a teenager, I dated a guy I absolutely loved.
asserted
I → date → guy
We were together for a few years before he cheated on me and we broke up.
asserted
we → cheat → me
I was devastated and it took me a long time to get over him.
asserted
it → devastate → him
I did eventually meet someone else, fell in love, married and had kids.
asserted
I → meet → kids
We were together 12 years before he cheated on me and we divorced.
asserted
we → cheat → me
I admit that throughout all that time, I secretly followed my ex-boyfriend on social media to keep tabs on him.
asserted
I → admit → him
He dated the woman he had cheated with for a very short time and then never seemed to find the right person to last longer than a year or two.
asserted
person → date → year
Now that I’m single, I really want to reach out to him.
asserted
I → ’m → him
I know he cheated on me, but we were young.
asserted
we → know → me
I think I’m still in love with him.
asserted
I → think → him
What do I do?
asserted
I → do → What
In my opinion, most people deserve a second chance (clearly dependant on why they lost the first chance).
asserted
they → deserve → chance
You were both young when you dated and when he cheated.
asserted
he → date → ?
That’s not an excuse; cheating is unkind, disrespectful and unnecessary.
asserted
cheating → ’ → ?
However, it sounds as though your feelings for this guy were so strong that even through years of loving someone else, he still held a place in your heart.
asserted
he → sound → heart
You could reach out to him, but with little to no expectation.
uncertain
You → reach → expectation
And I would rekindle your friendship — and reinforce that friendship — before even thinking about transitioning to a romantic relationship.
asserted
I → rekindle → relationship
Remember this: you have no idea how he feels about you.
asserted
he → remember → you
Also, I feel it’s very important that you talk to him about why he cheated and what that means to a relationship.
asserted
that → feel → relationship
And you would benefit greatly from speaking to a therapist to understand how you behave in relationships and what you will put up with.
asserted
you → benefit → what
Do NOT misunderstand — I am in no way saying you are responsible for both men cheating and allowed it to happen.
asserted
it → misunderstand → way
How are perimenopausal women supposed to parent teenage daughters?
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women → suppose → daughters
The former suffers from lack of sleep, brain fog and fluctuating hormonal changes, while the latter wages all-out war on every word that doesn’t fit their narrative coupled with fluctuating hormonal changes.
asserted
that → suffer → changes
The former has the patience of a gnat while the latter has the tenacity of a spider clinging to a web in a rainstorm.
asserted
latter → have → rainstorm
As the husband and father, I have a courtside seat to this battle of the ages.
asserted
I → have → ages
But if I dare to step inside the ring, they both turn on me with the ferocity of twin panthers.
asserted
they → dare → panthers
You are caught in the vortex of these two intense times in a woman’s life.
asserted
You → catch → life
They’re often moody, hormonal and impossible to read.
asserted
They → ’re → ?
Women going through the stages of perimenopause and menopause experience symptoms such as the inability to fall asleep, stay asleep — and night sweats that prevent sleep.
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that → go → sleep
Couple that exhaustion with brain fog and weight fluctuation, that can sometimes lead to depression, and you have an unhappy, cranky mom in battle with a cranky teen.
asserted
you → couple → teen
Take time alone with your wife and ask her how you can help.
asserted
you → take → her
Talk about your parenting rules and parameters, so you know when to jump in if you see your wife floundering.
asserted
wife → talk → rules
Reader: “I totally agree regarding making the son do the laundry.
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son → agree → laundry
If no laundry done, then no permission for next weekend.
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laundry → do → weekend
That’ll get his attention.
asserted
That → get → attention
“These kids are old enough to understand the basics of contracts and consequences, so maybe draw up a contract for everyone to sign.”
asserted
everyone → understand → contract
Reader: “Had to respond to this comment reprimanding you for suggesting someone use ChatGPT for some personal reasons.
asserted
someone → have → reasons
These people need to chill out and accept that AI isn’t going anywhere, and good for you for suggesting the use of it in your column.
“I used ChatGPT to help me understand how to deal with a toxic relationship.
asserted
me → need → relationship
Once I had a basic understanding, I spoke to a therapist.
asserted
I → have → therapist
He was impressed with my knowledge, and my language, and the ability for him to focus on the issue at hand, and was able to help me in far less time.
asserted
him → focus → time
…and 1 more, not listed.
The Aporia
