A reader named Mothering in Massachusetts writes to advice columnist Dear Abby about her fiancé's discomfort with her close relationship with her 25-year-old daughter, which includes daily phone calls. Abby advises that the fiancé’s attempt to control how often she communicates with her daughter is concerning and might indicate broader controlling behavior. She suggests considering whether this trait affects other aspects of their relationship before deciding on marriage.
Written locally by qwen2.5:14b on 2026-10-08,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
A reader wrote to Dear Abby expressing concern about her fiancé's disapproval of the close relationship she shares with her adult daughter, who is 25 years old and a young mother herself. The reader talks to her daughter regularly, both in the morning before work and evening when returning home. Her fiancé feels this interaction is "weird" and excessive since they also have their own busy lives and don't see each other as often as they would like despite living in the same town.
Dear Abby advises that while it’s fortunate to maintain a close bond with one's daughter, attempting to explain this relationship might not change her fiancé's perspective if he feels threatened. The columnist suggests considering whether the fiancé is being overly controlling and questions their compatibility based on his need to dictate how much time she spends talking to her daughter.
Written for “Fiance Disapproves Of Step Relationship” on 2026-10-08,
grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.
My fiance gets annoyed and calls it weird that I talk to my daughter every morning on my way to work and in the afternoon on my way home.
asserted
I → get → way
She’s a wife and young mother of two, ages 1 and 4.
asserted
She → ’ → two
I’m proud of how well she is doing.
asserted
she → ’m → ?
I work full time, and she works part time.
asserted
she → work → ?
We’re both always busy, so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like, even though we live in the same town.
asserted
we → ’re → town
At 25, my daughter is becoming my best friend.
asserted
daughter → become → 25
I love helping her through decisions, ideas, etc.
asserted
I → help → etc
I don’t agree with my fiance that this is “weird.”
asserted
this → agree → fiance
I believe mothers and daughters who are close do this.
asserted
who → believe → this
What’s your opinion about this?
asserted
opinion → ’ → this
How can I better explain to my fiance that this isn’t taking anything away from him?
asserted
this → explain → him
You are extremely fortunate to have such a warm relationship with your daughter.
asserted
You → have → daughter
You can explain this until you’re blue in the face, but if your fiance feels that he, and not your daughter, should be your best friend, it will be like talking to a wall.
asserted
it → explain → wall
From where I sit, for your fiance to dictate how often you talk with your daughter — when you’re not with him — is more than a little bit controlling.
asserted
you → sit → bit
It’s time to ask yourself if his need to control manifests itself in other ways.
asserted
need → ’ → ways
If it does, you may want to reconsider his status as fiance.
uncertain
you → do → fiance
One of my neighbors keeps their dog tied outside for long periods of time.
asserted
One → keep → time
I often see him shivering and pacing, and he barks and cries late into the night.
asserted
he → see → night
I don’t know my neighbor well, and I don’t want to cause conflict or make assumptions.
asserted
I → know → assumptions
At the same time, it’s hard to ignore what I’m seeing and hearing, especially when the temperatures drop below freezing.
asserted
temperatures → ’ → freezing
I’ve thought about saying something or even reporting it, but I worry about overstepping or making the situation worse.
asserted
situation → think → overstepping
What’s the right thing to do?
asserted
thing → ’ → ?
— CONCERNED IN THE COLD
DEAR CONCERNED: You can’t possibly make the situation worse, so why not try to make it better?
uncertain
it → concern → COLD
Research the appropriate authority for your area (usually Animal Control) and report what you’ve seen and heard.
asserted
you → research → what
It’s up to them to determine whether your neighbor’s actions constitute abuse and what to do from there.
asserted
actions → ’ → what
If you do, you’ll feel better and you may save the poor animal from a lifetime of suffering.
uncertain
you → do → suffering
A dear friend of mine, “Connie,” told me of a situation she has with her husband.
asserted
she → tell → husband
This man will not let her use his cellphone in an emergency.
asserted
her → let → emergency
He said his phone is for his private use only.
asserted
phone → say → use
When Connie and her husband moved to a different state, he stayed behind and followed the family several days later.
asserted
he → move → family
Do you think Connie should have concerns about her marriage?
asserted
Connie → think → marriage
What you and I think matters far less than what Connie thinks.
asserted
Connie → think → what
Between you and me, I find that people who act in a secretive way usually have something to hide.
asserted
who → find → something
However, you should not stir the pot.
asserted
you → stir → pot
If you want to be helpful, stay out of it.
asserted
you → want → it
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
asserted
Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
asserted
which → pen → mother
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