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Roosting birds now coo among the ceiling tiles in the deserted dining room of Kibbutz Nir Oz, once the bustling heart of a close-knit, 400-strong Israeli community which was devastated by the Hamas-led attacks on 7 October 2023.
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which → publish → October
"We used to come and see each other, eat together.
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We → use → other
There were lots of activities here, also holidays to celebrate," remembers Dalit Ram Aharon, who is showing me around with her husband, Achi.
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who → be → husband
By the glass entrance doors, dotted with bullet holes, there is a shocking reminder of what happened to the missing residents.
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what → dot → residents
The postboxes for each household bear stickers put there after the attacks three years ago: red indicates those killed, and black those taken hostage.
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red → bear → hostage
"That's one out of four of us: murdered or kidnapped," Dalit says.
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Dalit → murder → us
As Israel marks the third anniversary of its deadliest-ever day, this is another painful time of reflection for residents of the kibbutz, which sits just a mile (1.6km) from the Gaza border and was one of the worst-hit places.
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which → mark → places
Time stands still at the nearby burnt-out house of the Siman Tov family, where a wind chime dangles by the door.
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chime → stand → door
A picture shows Tamar and Yonatan with their three children, twin girls Shahar and Arbel, five, and their two-year-old son, Omer.
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picture → show → children
The parents were shot through the door of their bomb shelter - designed to protect from rockets launched from Gaza, not gunfire.
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parents → shoot → Gaza
Dalit, who survived with Achi and their three children by hiding in their own shelter for nearly 12 hours that day, recalls the last social media messages sent by Tamar to her neighbours.
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who → survive → neighbours
"On that day in the morning, she wrote in the woman's group, at the beginning, 'Is everyone fine?'
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everyone → write → beginning
Then, at another point, she wrote, 'They are shooting us.'
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They → write → us
And after that she wrote with a lot of mistakes, 'We are very injured,'" Dalit tells me.
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Dalit → write → me
"From what we understand, they torched the house and the children died from suffocation, so all the family was killed."
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family → understand → suffocation
An estimated 500 Palestinians, led by Hamas's elite Nukhba force fighters, but including civilian looters, some of them children, joined the assault on the unsuspecting Nir Oz.
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some → lead → Oz
Forty-one Nir Oz residents and foreign workers were killed, along with six people who had fled to the kibbutz from a party nearby.
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who → kill → party
Seventy-six people from the kibbutz were kidnapped to Gaza, including nine bodies, with 14 hostages taken alive and killed in captivity.
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hostages → kidnap → captivity
The last living hostages from Nir Oz were returned to Israel on 13 October 2025 and the remains of the last deceased hostage, Amiram Cooper, were brought back two weeks later.
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remains → live → hostage
As we walk through the greenery, it is eerily quiet bar bird song and the mewing of hungry, stray cats.
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it → walk → cats
Dozens of fire-damaged homes, which were simple, one-storey buildings in Nir Oz, have now been torn down, leaving just rows of the reinforced concrete safe rooms, which failed to keep people safe.
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which → damage → people
The Aharons want some damaged houses to be left as evidence of what took place.
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what → want → place
"We really support that," Achi says.
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Achi → support → that
"People should see what happened, should see the destruction, the pure hatred that happened here."
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that → see → destruction
The couple point out where a teacher, Maya Goren, was killed while in the kindergarten and the makeshift memorials where three of the seven members of the kibbutz security team were killed after battling Hamas gunmen.
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three → kill → gunmen
The findings of the Israeli Defense Forces investigation into what happened at Nir Oz underscored how the army - left in a state of disarray by the unprecedented simultaneous assault on more than 20 communities and multiple military posts - completely failed to come to the rescue here.
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army → happen → rescue
On 7 October, the first soldiers arrived in the kibbutz some 40 minutes after the last Palestinian attackers left.
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attackers → arrive → kibbutz
Nearly every household experienced killing, violence, including sexual assaults and rape, looting and kidnapping.
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household → experience → assaults
Dalit pauses to show me a tree planted long ago by her parents, who were co-founders of the kibbutz, known for its farming and peace activists.
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who → pause → farming
They survived the 7 October attacks physically unharmed but died just months afterwards.
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They → survive → attacks
The three, snatched from their home, became symbols of the Gaza hostage crisis.
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three → snatch → crisis
"This is the hardest house for me because Shiri was a very, very good friend of mine," Dalit confides.
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Dalit → confide → mine
We even got pregnant together - me with my daughter and her with Ariel.
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We → get → Ariel
They became best friends also.
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They → become → ?
We used to laugh that they were going to marry."
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they → use → ?
She was a happy person - a mother," Dalit says.
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Dalit → say → ?
"She lived a simple life.
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She → live → life
She never did anything to anyone."
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She → do → anyone
While Shiri's husband, Yarden, was released alive by Hamas in a Gaza ceasefire deal in February 2025, she and her sons - held by a different armed group - were killed.
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she → release → group
Hamas blamed an air strike early in the Gaza war for their deaths, but Israeli forensic experts, who examined the bodies after they were returned later that February, said they were murdered by their captives and their bodies mutilated.
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bodies → blame → captives
…and 27 more, not listed.
The Aporia
