A reader writes to Dear Abby about their husband's antisocial behavior, stating they've been married for eight years but struggle with getting him to participate in social outings or have people over to their home. The husband rarely accompanies his wife and children to social gatherings, leaving her to explain his absence. Dear Abby advises that the writer can't change their husband's behavior, but rather learn to react differently to it by being more open about his absence.
Written by the local model on 2026-09-06,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
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No political leaning scored for article 5448 · logged 2026-09-06
My husband and I have been married for eight years.
asserted
husband → marry → years
For the most part, we are happy, but there is one thing that upsets me.
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that → be → me
He doesn’t like to have people over for social events.
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He → like → events
In fact, I can’t get him to participate in any social outing without him moaning and complaining the entire time.
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him → get → outing
I enjoy getting together with friends and having people over and so do our children.
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children → enjoy → people
I love hosting birthday parties, barbecues and such,
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I → host → parties
and I would love to have couples over for drinks or even a game night.
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I → love → drinks
It’s a constant struggle because my husband won’t meet me halfway.
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husband → ’ → me
I feel like I’m trapped in my own home and can’t go anywhere.
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I → feel → home
If I do go, he rarely accompanies me and our kids to social gatherings, and I am left to explain why he isn’t with us.
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he → go → us
I hate being put in this position.
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I → hate → position
How can I make him meet me halfway?
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him → make → me
Short of ordering your husband to socialize at gunpoint, there’s nothing you can do.
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you → order → gunpoint
By now, you should have realized that you can’t change him.
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you → realize → him
You can, however, change how you react to his behavior.
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you → change → behavior
Unless he had a complete personality change after the wedding, this is the person you married.
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you → have → wedding
Because this is who he is, it’s up to you to be less embarrassed and more up-front about explaining his absence when you and your children socialize without him.
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you → ’ → him
(“You know, ‘Harry’ just isn’t comfortable socializing.
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Harry → know → ?
It’s not in his nature.”)
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It → ’ → nature
Unless he forbids you to host a game night once in a while, go ahead and plan one.
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he → forbid → one
If he’s as antisocial as you say he is, he won’t be missed.
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he → ’ → ?
My granddaughter “Carrie” is getting married this fall.
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granddaughter → marry → ?
She has asked me to escort her down the aisle.
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She → ask → aisle
Her mother (my daughter, “Lori”) and father were never married, and they have three children together.
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they → have → children
Carrie is estranged from her father and has had nothing to do with him for several years.
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Carrie → have → years
She feels that Lori has never been a mother to her, didn’t protect her or her siblings from their father and has recently made little effort to show an interest in her life.
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Lori → feel → life
I have not yet told Lori that Carrie asked me to escort her down the aisle.
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Carrie → tell → aisle
I know Lori will be heartbroken.
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Lori → know → ?
I am afraid that when I do tell her, our relationship will suffer.
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relationship → tell → her
Lori must already know that she won’t be invited to the ceremony, much less be a member of the wedding party.
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she → know → party
She can’t expect Carrie to walk down the aisle alone, so I hope she will be grateful that Carrie has a proud grandmother to fill the role.
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Carrie → expect → role
If not, that’s her problem; do not make it yours.
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it → ’ → ?
Help give Carrie a loving, happy wedding day, and don’t allow the conflict between them to drag you down.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
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Abby → help → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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which → pen → mother
