My husband and I have been married for eight years.
asserted
husband → marry → years
For the most part, we are happy, but there is one thing that upsets me.
asserted
that → be → me
He doesn’t like to have people over for social events.
asserted
He → like → events
In fact, I can’t get him to participate in any social outing without him moaning and complaining the entire time.
asserted
him → get → outing
I enjoy getting together with friends and having people over and so do our children.
asserted
children → enjoy → people
I love hosting birthday parties, barbecues and such,
asserted
I → host → parties
and I would love to have couples over for drinks or even a game night.
asserted
I → love → drinks
It’s a constant struggle because my husband won’t meet me halfway.
asserted
husband → ’ → me
I feel like I’m trapped in my own home and can’t go anywhere.
asserted
I → feel → home
If I do go, he rarely accompanies me and our kids to social gatherings, and I am left to explain why he isn’t with us.
asserted
he → go → us
I hate being put in this position.
asserted
I → hate → position
How can I make him meet me halfway?
asserted
him → make → me
Short of ordering your husband to socialize at gunpoint, there’s nothing you can do.
asserted
you → order → gunpoint
By now, you should have realized that you can’t change him.
asserted
you → realize → him
You can, however, change how you react to his behavior.
asserted
you → change → behavior
Unless he had a complete personality change after the wedding, this is the person you married.
asserted
you → have → wedding
Because this is who he is, it’s up to you to be less embarrassed and more up-front about explaining his absence when you and your children socialize without him.
asserted
you → ’ → him
(“You know, ‘Harry’ just isn’t comfortable socializing.
asserted
Harry → know → ?
It’s not in his nature.”)
asserted
It → ’ → nature
Unless he forbids you to host a game night once in a while, go ahead and plan one.
asserted
he → forbid → one
If he’s as antisocial as you say he is, he won’t be missed.
asserted
he → ’ → ?
My granddaughter “Carrie” is getting married this fall.
asserted
granddaughter → marry → ?
She has asked me to escort her down the aisle.
asserted
She → ask → aisle
Her mother (my daughter, “Lori”) and father were never married, and they have three children together.
asserted
they → have → children
Carrie is estranged from her father and has had nothing to do with him for several years.
asserted
Carrie → have → years
She feels that Lori has never been a mother to her, didn’t protect her or her siblings from their father and has recently made little effort to show an interest in her life.
asserted
Lori → feel → life
I have not yet told Lori that Carrie asked me to escort her down the aisle.
asserted
Carrie → tell → aisle
I know Lori will be heartbroken.
asserted
Lori → know → ?
I am afraid that when I do tell her, our relationship will suffer.
asserted
relationship → tell → her
Lori must already know that she won’t be invited to the ceremony, much less be a member of the wedding party.
asserted
she → know → party
She can’t expect Carrie to walk down the aisle alone, so I hope she will be grateful that Carrie has a proud grandmother to fill the role.
asserted
Carrie → expect → role
If not, that’s her problem; do not make it yours.
asserted
it → ’ → ?
Help give Carrie a loving, happy wedding day, and don’t allow the conflict between them to drag you down.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
asserted
Abby → help → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
asserted
which → pen → mother
The Aporia
