Almost nothing in Werner Herzog’s fractured fairytale Bucking Fastards, playing in competition here at the Venice Film Festival, makes literal sense.
asserted
nothing → play → sense
But it all makes a kind of sideways sense, especially if, before watching, you can will yourself into a Herzogian brainspace, a place where possibly nonexistent elephants roam the Earth, where ancient cave drawings bear witness to the enduring creativity and wonder of humankind, where mad dreamers insist it’s possible to haul a multi-ton ship over a mountain.
uncertain
it → make → mountain
In that context, two inseparable sisters who speak only in unison, who are crazily lovesick over the man who has spurned them, and who believe they can dig a literal tunnel into a land of freedom, acceptance, and love: in a world where our deepest desires are so seldom met, how nuts does that really sound?
asserted
that → speak → world
Real-life sisters Rooney Mara and Kate Mara play Joan and Jean Holbrooke, sisters living in Ireland—they are not, they adamantly insist, twins—who share every emotion, every thought, every waking moment as if they were a single entity.
asserted
they → play → emotion
They dress exactly alike, in droopy trenchcoats and modest granny-style skirts; they both wear their long, silky hair parted neatly in the middle and tied partially back, like identical waterfalls.
asserted
they → dress → waterfalls
They don’t finish each other’s sentences; instead, they form their thoughts and words in unison and speak as one.
asserted
they → finish → one
It’s an eerie effect the first time you hear it.
asserted
you → ’ → it
Even more unsettling, it comes to sound completely normal as the movie wears on.
asserted
movie → come → ?
Joan and Jean have fallen for a single man, their handsome rapscallion neighbor Gareth Mulroney (a saucy, salacious Orlando Bloom).
asserted
Joan → fall → man
It’s love at first sight—or is that sights?—when he bursts into their local church, a tankard of beer in hand, stirring up nothing but trouble.
asserted
he → ’ → trouble
Afterward, they breathlessly wait for him to emerge through the church doors.
asserted
him → wait → doors
Their eyes gleaming like double constellations, they proposition him: “I’d love to show you my inner cowgirl!” they tell him, the words tumbling out more like a song than a sentence.
asserted
words → gleam → sentence
He’s charmed, intrigued; he’s horny.
asserted
he → intrigue → ?
The trio land in bed, with Gareth in the middle flanked by his semi-nude cutie cowgirls, who ooh and ahh over him adoringly.
asserted
who → land → him
They’re Goldilocks and he’s their just-right.
asserted
he → ’re → ?
This is how a sex scene, as imagined by Herzog, plays out.
asserted
scene → imagine → Herzog
But their bliss is short-lived.
asserted
bliss → live → ?
That meet-cute and its aftermath are relayed in flashback as the sisters huddle together in a courtroom, essentially defending themselves against charges of stalking.
asserted
sisters → relay → stalking
Gareth, after dallying with Joan and Jean for a time, has thrown them over and taken a wife.
asserted
Gareth → dally → wife
They can’t believe it—in their futile rage, they set the interior of his car on fire.
asserted
they → believe → fire
(Their procurement of the gasoline they use to do so is a cracked mini-adventure by itself.)
asserted
they → use → itself
They also set the postbox outside his house aflame.
asserted
They → set → house
Before the bewigged judge, Gareth’s lawyer tries to argue that the relationship was purely sexual.
asserted
relationship → try → judge
Joan and Jean justify their actions plaintively.
asserted
Joan → justify → actions
“It was love!” they cry in unison, and later, “I am never going to stop loving him!”
asserted
I → cry → him
Their linked hearts are broken, and the court case has brought them both fame and embarrassment.
asserted
case → break → fame
A kind villager (John Kavanagh) takes pity on them, knowing that the best thing for them is to get away.
asserted
thing → take → them
He offers them the use of a flat he doesn’t need, located in another town.
asserted
he → offer → town
He urges them not to open the door to strangers, people who want only to take advantage of them.
asserted
who → urge → them
From there, Bucking Fastard becomes a set of wriggly vignettes more than a linear story.
asserted
Fastard → become → story
There’s a sleazy neighbor (Malcolm Adams) who attempts to take, and post on the Internet, pictures of them undressing.
asserted
who → ’ → them
(They put their heads together and cook up a giggly-devious plan to outwit him.)
asserted
They → put → him
A kind social worker, played by Domhnall Gleeson, tries to show them how to collaborate in the task of opening a tin of sardines.
asserted
worker → play → sardines
But soon even their cozy flat comes to feel like a prison: they strike out on an adventure, going to live with an aunt who loves them (Marion O’Dwyer) and who encourages them to explore a mysterious cave near her country property, one whose twists and turns ignite their two-for-one imaginations.
asserted
twists → come → imaginations
A fox named Cupid, with a perpetually alarmed-looking face, becomes their mascot.
asserted
fox → name → face
Through it all, they continue to mourn their lost love.
asserted
they → continue → love
But perhaps they can find a new one?
asserted
they → find → one
What does any of this mean?
asserted
any → mean → this
Though the story was inspired by real-life twins from York, England, Freda and Greta Chaplin—who spoke in unison and, like Jean and Joan, did everything together—the meandering storyline is pure, sweet, gaga Herzog.
asserted
storyline → inspire → everything
The picture’s most radiant sequences take place in the girls' beloved cave, where they toil for years to dig their way, admittedly nonsensically, to a better life.
asserted
they → take → life
…and 10 more, not listed.
