Quentin Letts writes a scathing opinion piece for the Daily Mail about the Liberal Democrats' conference in Brighton, describing it as dull and nearly empty. The article mocks the repetitive platitudes delivered by speakers and sarcastically comments on the lack of enthusiasm among attendees, particularly younger members who seem to have shifted towards the Green party. Letts also highlights a brief moment of levity during Max Wilkinson’s speech but dismisses it as shallow bravado, contrasting it with Wilkinson's timid behavior in everyday situations.
Written locally by qwen2.5:14b on 2026-09-22,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
The Liberal Democrats, led by Sir Ed Davey, are gathering for their party conference in Brighton from October 7th, aiming to address concerns about their recent lack of growth and relevance. Recent polling shows that 43% of respondents were unclear what the Liberal Democrats stand for, with over half describing them as "weak." Ahead of the conference, some MPs criticized Davey's leadership, urging a rediscovery of the party’s insurgent spirit rather than its current role as polite custodians.
Davey has outlined plans to focus on tax cuts and rejoining the EU customs union and single market, arguing that these moves will help ease cost-of-living pressures and stimulate economic growth. He also vowed not to give up fighting against what he terms "nasty populism," targeting parties like Nigel Farage's Reform UK and individuals such as Elon Musk.
Despite internal frustrations, Davey emphasized the party’s commitment to defending the NHS and countering anti-migrant sentiment. His speech highlighted past political activism, including a successful boycott of Barclays Bank over its investments in apartheid-era South Africa, linking this to current struggles against injustices both domestically and globally.
The conference seeks to reestablish the Liberal Democrats' profile ahead of future elections by addressing issues like tax reform and EU relations while countering populist rhetoric and policies. Davey's leadership aims to galvanize party members and supporters amid skepticism from some quarters about his ability to lead the party effectively.
Written for “Lib Dem Conference Speeches” on 2026-10-05,
grounded in this article and the 16 other(s) covering the same event.
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One newspaper claimed there are 5,000 Lib Dems in Brighton for their conference.
asserted
newspaper → see → conference
They certainly weren’t jamming the conference hall for day three of a ruthlessly bland affair.
asserted
They → jam → affair
‘Do you remember when we had such hopeful young people?’ asked Jane Dodds, her plaintive words echoing in a near-empty hall.
asserted
words → remember → hall
Ms Dodds is leader of the Lib Dems in the Welsh Senedd, where they have, er, one member.
asserted
they → have → member
She leads herself.
asserted
She → lead → ?
Her question was met with a forlorn silence.
asserted
question → meet → silence
Perhaps the young Lib Dems have migrated to the Greens.
asserted
Dems → migrate → Greens
Who could blame them?
uncertain
Who → blame → them
Boob-whisperer Polanski may be nuts but at least he has some zip.
uncertain
he → have → zip
The cliches at this conference give you early-onset rigor mortis.
asserted
cliches → give → mortis
Dullards deliver drab speeches.
asserted
Dullards → deliver → speeches
A discussion about the health service dwelt on ‘the horrors of self-dentistry’.
asserted
discussion → dwell → dentistry
The litany of platitudes from earnest wheedlers made the thought of sawing at one’s own canines tempting.
asserted
thought → make → canines
At least it would keep you awake.
asserted
it → keep → you
Speaker after speaker used the word ‘holistic’.
asserted
Speaker → use → word
‘Quick fix solutions’ were mentioned by orators of glacial bent.
asserted
solutions → mention → bent
Votes were taken on amendments to motions.
asserted
Votes → take → motions
‘Pop your cards down again,’ trilled the chairwoman.
asserted
chairwoman → pop → cards
She must have said it six times.
asserted
She → say → it
Someone pour me a hemlock martini.
asserted
Someone → pour → martini
For 20 minutes literally nothing happened.
asserted
nothing → happen → minutes
They had run out of participants.
asserted
They → run → participants
The sound system played pizzicato Vivaldi.
asserted
system → play → Vivaldi
It was like being put on hold by Dignitas.
asserted
It → put → Dignitas
Lib Dem home affairs spokesman Max Wilkinson speaks during the party's conference in Brighton
Brief respite came with a speech from the party’s home affairs spokesman, Max Wilkinson MP.
asserted
respite → speak → spokesman
He swaggered on to Star Wars music, clapping himself.
asserted
He → swagger → music
‘We’re here!’ he cried.
asserted
he → ’re → ?
This caused such gum-sucking delight from the oldies that he said it several more times.
asserted
he → cause → it
The sign language woman didn’t know what to do with her hands.
asserted
woman → know → hands
Mr Wilkinson kept marching five stiff steps either side of the lectern, like a fully-wound clockwork toy.
asserted
Wilkinson → keep → toy
With a smirk he put on a pair of what he called ‘perv goggles’ to illustrate his opposition to so-called smart glasses.
asserted
he → put → glasses
Pro-EU, pro-immigration Mr Wilkinson fancies himself a bit of a card and challenged Reform UK’s Zia Yusuf to a debate.
asserted
himself → fancy → debate
‘Or are you a big chicken, Zia?’ he roared.
asserted
he → roar → ?
The ancients marvelled at this bravery.
asserted
ancients → marvel → bravery
I sometimes share a Monday-morning train with Wilkinson.
asserted
I → share → Wilkinson
One time our carriage was infested by a noisy oik who was making life hell for fellow passengers.
asserted
life → infest → passengers
My patience snapped and I crossly told the idiot to put a cork in it.
asserted
I → snap → it
Eventually he did, but things became pretty heated.
asserted
things → do → ?
Did macho Max come to my aid?
asserted
Max → come → aid
He cowered in his seat.
asserted
He → cower → seat
…and 11 more, not listed.
The Aporia
