My next-door neighbor, “Dee,” has a granddaughter, “Sarah.”
asserted
neighbor → have → granddaughter
A year ago, I was friendly with Sarah, but months later, she became disrespectful.
asserted
she → become → Sarah
She wouldn’t listen when I asked her not to ring my doorbell for no reason or tease my cats.
asserted
I → listen → cats
I told Dee, and she said she would try to talk to her.
asserted
she → tell → her
Dee said she can’t make Sarah mind at times.
asserted
Sarah → say → times
The misbehavior stopped briefly until about two weeks ago.
asserted
misbehavior → stop → ?
Now Sarah skates back and forth in front of my apartment.
asserted
Sarah → skate → apartment
I didn’t think much about it until I caught her watching me when I’m outside.
asserted
I → think → me
What do you do when you want to stay friends with a neighbor but she has a teen that won’t stop acting up?
asserted
that → do → teen
I need some ideas.
asserted
I → need → ideas
— ANNOYED IN KENTUCKY
DEAR ANNOYED: Stay friends with Dee by continuing to treat her as a friend — as long as Sarah behaves herself.
asserted
Sarah → annoy → friend
Saying she “can’t make Sarah mind” is no excuse.
asserted
Sarah → say → ?
As the adult in the household, Dee is responsible for anything Sarah does, and you should react accordingly.
asserted
you → do → anything
I don’t think “watching you” is an offense worth risking your friendship with Dee over, but if Sarah’s antics escalate to their previous levels, inform Dee and tell her you expect her to control her granddaughter.
asserted
her → think → granddaughter
If Sarah ever resorts to outright criminal behavior, call the police immediately.
asserted
Sarah → resort → police
My mother-in-law moved in with my husband and me seven months ago.
asserted
law → move → husband
We got along pretty well before she came to live with us.
asserted
she → get → us
It happened pretty quickly, and we really didn’t get to discuss it.
asserted
we → happen → it
She doesn’t offer to help with the cooking or cleaning.
asserted
She → offer → cooking
Of course, costs went up — electricity, groceries and the water bill.
asserted
costs → go → ?
We pay for everything.
asserted
We → pay → everything
We take her to her doctors, but she doesn’t do what they recommend.
asserted
they → take → what
We even pay for her prescriptions with no offer from her to reimburse us.
asserted
We → pay → us
She is disrespectful toward me, and I don’t like being around her.
asserted
I → like → her
My husband does everything for her.
asserted
husband → do → her
He helped her with her bills, packing up her house and putting everything in storage.
asserted
He → help → storage
I understand she is his mom, but she never acted like a mother.
asserted
she → understand → mother
She has never sent birthday cards or acknowledged our children or grandchildren.
asserted
She → send → children
My husband asks me, “What am I supposed to do, kick her out?”
asserted
I → ask → her
I feel this has gone on long enough and we three need to sit down and talk, which we should have done a long time ago.
asserted
we → feel → which
How can we sort this out?
asserted
we → sort → this
— HEAVY-HEARTED IN MISSOURI
DEAR HEAVY-HEARTED: You and your husband should have had a frank discussion about this before his mother was invited to move in.
asserted
mother → have → this
Because that didn’t happen then, do it now.
asserted
that → happen → it
By all means, call for a meeting of the three of you because it is overdue.
asserted
it → call → you
Before the meeting, make a list of the things you feel your MIL should be helping with so you can refer to it.
asserted
you → make → it
That her things are all in storage may be a blessing, in case she needs to relocate again.
uncertain
she → need → storage
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
asserted
Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
asserted
which → pen → mother
The Aporia
