My sister just told me her husband just told her he’s having an affair.
asserted
he → tell → affair
She hasn’t even responded to him yet.
asserted
She → respond → him
Apparently, they were cleaning up from dinner when he casually stated he had something to discuss.
asserted
he → clean → something
She had no idea what he was about to say.
asserted
he → have → what
She just looked at him, walked out of the house and drove over here.
asserted
She → look → house
She has a key and I was out, so she let herself in.
asserted
she → have → herself
She’d texted she was there but didn’t say why, so I wasn’t rushing.
asserted
I → texte → ?
When I walked in, she looked at me and just repeated what he said to her word for word.
asserted
he → walk → word
Now she doesn’t know what to do, how to respond, who to talk to, what to feel, nothing
asserted
she → do → what
How can I help her?
asserted
I → help → her
I don’t have any experience in this.
asserted
I → have → this
A Wow, that’s a lot!
asserted
that → ’ → ?
It’s amazing how one short sentence can implode someone’s life.
asserted
sentence → ’ → life
I’m sorry for your sister she’s going through this traumatic shift.
asserted
she → ’m → shift
It’s important she find a therapist to help her through the multitude of feelings washing over her, and to help her through this period.
asserted
she → ’ → period
You didn’t mention if her husband told her because he wants to “come clean” and work on their marriage, or because he’s planning on leaving.
asserted
he → mention → marriage
Either way, she needs to figure out what she wants.
asserted
she → need → what
She should probably also retain a lawyer and speak to her accountant and/or financial planner.
asserted
She → retain → accountant
Your job, as her supportive and loving sister, is to be there for her whenever she needs you.
asserted
she → need → you
Obviously, she knows you’re a safe haven, and your home is her safe place.
asserted
home → know → ?
This situation isn’t going to resolve quickly, no matter which direction they go.
asserted
they → go → ?
My husband is obsessed with every new TikTok trend he stumbles upon regarding food.
asserted
he → obsess → food
At one point, he was creating coffee drinks with crazy ingredients such as saffron or yogurt.
asserted
he → create → saffron
He went through the sourdough stage, the make-your-own ice cream phase and make-your-own pasta phase.
asserted
He → go → own
And, of course, he made his own pickles.
asserted
he → make → pickles
I don’t have a problem with any of it, at first.
asserted
I → have → it
But he goes all in, buying a fancy and expensive coffee machine; then a special baking dish for the bread and all the accessories; then the ice cream machine
asserted
he → go → bread
With the pickles, we ended up with 44 jars of pickled cucumbers, until I insisted we start gifting them.
asserted
we → end → them
None of his projects are going to break the bank, but we just end up with stuff we don’t need when he moves on to the next excitement.
asserted
he → go → excitement
How can I talk to him about this without hurting his feelings or squashing his creative personality?
asserted
I → talk → personality
If neither of you drink coffee, then I would agree it’s time to sell the machine.
asserted
it → drink → machine
Most are large and cumbersome and take up a significant amount of counter space.
asserted
Most → take → space
However, if you are coffee drinkers, just use it regularly without all the extra ingredients.
asserted
you → use → ingredients
With the other kitchen gadgets, I would sit your husband down and discuss this with him.
asserted
I → sit → him
Start with “I love you” and move on to how impressed you are with all his ingenuity and talent.
asserted
you → start → ingenuity
Then discuss with him how you can continue using the gadgets, even after his obsession has waned.
asserted
obsession → discuss → gadgets
For example, make a deal with him that one Sunday of the month you plan a fun ice cream party for your family, and he oversees making the ice cream.
asserted
he → make → cream
On another Sunday, he’s in charge of Italian night and makes the pasta himself.
asserted
he → ’ → pasta
Invite friends over and everyone can make their own dish.
asserted
everyone → invite → dish
And next time he gets excited about something, before he makes a purchase, ask him where the gadget will live and if it’s worth the effort.
asserted
it → get → him
…and 7 more, not listed.
The Aporia
