The mist is clearing, and we can at last see the figure of Andy Burnham stumbling across the bog as he really is.
asserted
he → clear → bog
If you had hoped that he is a man of action, someone who knows his own mind and is good at making hard decisions, you are going to be disappointed.
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you → hop → decisions
Our new Prime Minister, who no one other than the voters of Makerfield elected, turns out to be all talk and no trousers, as they say in the North, of which Andy has absurdly been styled ‘King’.
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Andy → elect → which
Yesterday he went on BBC1 Breakfast to reveal his latest thoughts about the early release of prisoners.
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he → go → prisoners
You’d think he was Bismarck from all the fuss they were making of him.
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they → think → him
He told us that he had ‘spent the summer turning over every single stone’.
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he → tell → stone
In fact, he was only putting right a problem of Labour’s own making, which a more astute politician would have spotted weeks ago.
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politician → put → which
The Government no longer intends to let prisoners convicted of manslaughter out of jail early.
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prisoners → intend → jail
This category includes two of the killers of PC Andrew Harper.
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category → include → Harper
But, although Mr Burnham did not mention this, some stalkers and domestic abusers currently in jail under a scheme called Imprisonment for Public Protection will be free to walk our streets.
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stalkers → mention → streets
What has he actually achieved in the six weeks since he wrested the seals of office from Sir Keir Starmer?
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he → achieve → Starmer
He has ducked, and continues to duck, the three main issues facing the country: defence, soaring welfare costs and uncontrolled immigration.
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He → duck → country
Our new Prime Minister, who no one other than the voters of Makerfield elected, turns out to be all talk and no trousers
Despite all Burnham’s brave talk in Kyiv, the new Chancellor won’t be announcing a rise in military spending to 3 per cent of GDP in his Budget on October 28
To be sure, there have been feel-good announcements that almost no one will disagree with.
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one → elect → that
The PM has pledged to end ‘rough sleeping’, preferably by Christmas.
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PM → pledge → Christmas
He has shaved a few pounds off our energy bills.
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He → shave → bills
There has also been lots of talk about devolution – more controversial, perhaps, given that so far devolution has hardly been a runaway success – but he has been vague enough not to upset many people.
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he → give → people
We have had these motherhood-and-apple-pie policies from our likeable new Prime Minister, who is rarely photographed without a smile on his face.
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who → have → face
Whereas Starmer resembled an ill-at-ease undertaker, Burnham reminds me of the enthusiastic coach of an under-10s football team.
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Burnham → resemble → team
A week ago Burnham was in Kyiv, gushing support for President Zelensky, and promising to share classified blueprints so that Ukraine can build its own Storm Shadow missiles.
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Ukraine → gush → missiles
He certainly succeeded in goading the Kremlin, which claimed he would ‘add fuel to the fire’, and threatened to strike British military targets.
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he → succeed → targets
Thank God, I thought, that the Government is about to increase our inadequate defence budget.
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Government → thank → budget
But then it was reported that, despite all Burnham’s brave talk in Kyiv, the new Chancellor won’t be announcing a rise in military spending to 3 per cent of GDP in his Budget on October 28.
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Chancellor → report → October
John Healey resigned as Defence Secretary in June because Starmer wouldn’t commit himself to 3 per cent.
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Starmer → resign → cent
Now that he is ensconced in the Treasury, with Andy Burnham breathing down his neck, he is singing an entirely different tune.
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he → ensconce → tune
A pathway to 3 per cent will be set out in next year’s spending review.
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pathway → set → review
In other words, Burnham and Healey are kicking the issue into the adjoining field even while the PM is playing the dangerous game of tweaking Putin’s tail.
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PM → kick → tail
This really is a disgraceful dereliction at a time when Nato allies such as Poland and Germany are rapidly increasing their defence spending. What hope is there for us if the Prime Minister is unable to make up his mind on a matter of national security?
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Minister → increase → security
It is a similar story on welfare reform, which is likely to be delayed until next year at the earliest, according to leaks.
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which → delay → leaks
Burnham once more can’t decide what to do.
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Burnham → decide → what
He knows that many Labour backbenchers don’t want the spiralling welfare budget to be reined in.
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budget → know → ?
No 10 is happy to wait for two reviews of the welfare state, one by Sir Stephen Timms, the social security minister, the other by former Labour Cabinet minister Alan Milburn.
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No → wait → Milburn
Sir Stephen is the sort of chap who would fill out a form in triplicate on hearing the word ‘Fire!’
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who → fill → word
The third issue about which the Prime Minister has done or said virtually nothing is mass immigration.
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Minister → do → nothing
Some Labour MPs like to give the impression that this has been sorted out.
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this → like → impression
It hasn’t.
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It → have → ?
Home Office data released last week show that a record number of immigrants were granted indefinite leave to remain (ILR) in the year to June 2026, as foreign nationals who arrived during the last Tory administration sought to settle here permanently.
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who → release → administration
In the three months to June 2026 alone, 140,122 immigrants were granted ILR or citizenship.
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immigrants → grant → ILR
Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood wants to make most migrants wait ten rather than five years to obtain ILR, and even longer for lower-paid foreign workers or refugees.
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migrants → want → workers
This seems to be a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.
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horse → seem → door
Ms Mahmood’s reforms probably won’t see the light of day because they are opposed by many Labour MPs, led by Angela Rayner, who has described them as unBritish.
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who → see → them
…and 19 more, not listed.
The Aporia
