Psychologist Rachel Needle and licensed marriage and family therapist Enid Wilson offer advice on how to handle someone who is giving the silent treatment. The key difference between a healthy cooling-off period and the silent treatment is whether the person explains what's happening and offers reassurance that the conversation isn't over, with an agreed-upon time to return to it. Experts suggest looking for specific communication from the person withdrawing, such as saying they need space or offering a timeframe for when they'll be back, rather than simply walking away without explanation. Needle notes that silence can create anxiety and uncertainty in the recipient, whether it's used as leverage or a means of escape from difficult emotions.
Written by the local model on 2026-08-27,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Asking for space—and specifying when the conversation will resume—can protect a relationship by giving both people time to calm down.
asserted
conversation → ask → time
The silent treatment does the opposite.
asserted
treatment → do → opposite
Withdrawing without explanation or a plan to reconnect just creates a new conflict, leaving the person on the receiving end scrambling to figure out what went wrong.
asserted
what → withdraw → end
Yet not everyone who goes quiet is trying to inflict pain.
asserted
who → go → pain
Some people shut down because they’re overwhelmed and genuinely incapable of having a productive conversation.
asserted
they → shut → conversation
We asked experts how to figure out what’s behind the silent treatment—and what to do when someone stops speaking to you.
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someone → ask → you
First, figure out what kind of silence you’re dealing with
A healthy cooling-off period and the silent treatment can look identical from the outside, says Rachel Needle, a psychologist in West Palm Beach, Fla.
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Needle → figure → Beach
Both involve someone stepping away from a conversation.
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someone → involve → conversation
What changes the meaning of that silence is whether the person explains what's happening and offers some reassurance that the conversation isn't over.
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conversation → change → reassurance
Most of all, it's whether they say when they'll be back.
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they → say → all
Someone who’s emotionally flooded might say: “I need a little time to calm down before we keep talking.
uncertain
we → flood → time
Can we pick this up tonight?”
asserted
we → pick → this
Doing so gives the silence a purpose and an endpoint, Needle says.
asserted
Needle → do → purpose
If the person needs more time when the agreed-upon hour rolls around, they can say so and suggest another time.
asserted
they → need → time
That communication sends an important message, says Enid Wilson, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Sacramento: “I’m still in this relationship.
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I → send → relationship
I’m just taking a pause on this conversation because I need to take care of myself.”
asserted
I → take → myself
Walking away or refusing to respond leaves the other person wondering whether the conversation—or even the relationship—is over.
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conversation → walk → person
The best version also comes with a timeframe.
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version → come → timeframe
People withdraw for all kinds of reasons.
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People → withdraw → reasons
They might be afraid they’ll say something they regret or have learned to protect themselves by shutting down.
uncertain
they → say → themselves
Some people simply haven’t learned how to sit with difficult emotions or repair a disagreement, Needle says, so “silence really becomes a way to escape the discomfort, rather than having to deal with it and move through it.
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silence → learn → it
It creates uncertainty and pressures the recipient to apologize or back down.
asserted
It → create → recipient
Sometimes that strategy is conscious, Needle says, and sometimes it isn't.
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it → say → ?
Whatever's motivating the withdrawal, the impact on the other person can be similar.
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impact → motivate → person
"It creates anxiety, rejection, uncertainty, and a sense of being shut out," she says.
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she → create → anxiety
Because it’s impossible to climb inside someone else’s head, focus on what can be observed.
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what → ’ → head
Did they say they needed space?
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they → say → space
Did they give some indication of when they’d return?
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they → give → indication
Did they follow through—or at least check in to ask for more time?
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they → follow → time
Then ask whether this is a rare rupture, or the way every disagreement ends.
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disagreement → ask → ?
Context matters, too.
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Context → matter → ?
There's no universal number of hours that transforms a delayed response into the silent treatment.
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that → be → treatment
If two friends usually exchange a couple emails a month, a week of quiet probably doesn't mean much.
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week → exchange → much
If a partner who texts throughout the day suddenly disappears in the middle of a tense conversation, it might.
uncertain
it → text → conversation
Texting also strips out tone of voice and facial expression, the signals that make intent easier to interpret.
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intent → strip → voice
"You just miss so many cues when you're not talking either on the phone or in person," Wilson says.
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Wilson → miss → person
That's why she encourages moving difficult conversations out of the text thread.
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she → encourage → thread
When someone abruptly goes quiet, the goal is to respond without escalating the conflict while staying grounded in your own needs, Needle says.
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Needle → go → needs
Start by calmly naming what you've observed: "I noticed that you've gone quiet.
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you → start → what
I want to understand what's going on, but I also don't want to push you if you need some space."
asserted
you → want → space
…and 42 more, not listed.
