The paper that aims to take you back to the 1950s with all the stories that the mainstream media don’t want you to read.
asserted
you → aim → that
And those who happen to have found a copy on the floor of the bus.
asserted
who → happen → bus
A message from the editor, Nigel Farage
We are living in dangerous times.
asserted
We → live → times
The chances of finding an immigrant ahead of you in the supermarket checkout queue have never been higher.
asserted
chances → find → queue
you need a newspaper you can trust.
asserted
you → need → newspaper
One that isn’t afraid to tell you the truth about Broken Britain, and where you can find a grievance on every page.
asserted
you → tell → page
So let me introduce you to the Reformer team.
asserted
me → let → team
I’m the editor-in-chief.
asserted
I → ’m → chief
And then there are seven or eight other nobodies whose names escape me.
asserted
names → be → me
If you are not fully satisfied with the Reformer in the first 100 days then I will sack all the people I have already forgotten.
asserted
I → sack → people
FARMING IN CRISIS
by Nigel Farage, agriculture editor
A sensational report that has been hushed up by establishment figures linked to the European Union reveals that migrants are responsible for the failure of this summer’s harvest.
asserted
migrants → farm → harvest
The report, which has been leaked to the Reformer by a source who wishes to go by the name of Nigel, reveals that officials have tried to blame the crop failure on climate change.
asserted
officials → leak → change
“It’s a total scandal,” said Nigel.
asserted
Nigel → ’ → ?
“What’s been going on is that immigrants have been bringing their hot weather over to the UK with them in small boats.
asserted
immigrants → go → boats
Global warming is a hoax perpetuated by leftwing politicians who want to encourage unlimited illegal immigration.
asserted
who → perpetuate → immigration
Back in the days when you seldom saw a black or brown face, British summers were much cooler.
asserted
summers → see → face
It’s time for everyone to start telling the truth.
asserted
everyone → ’ → truth
FOREIGNERS INCREASE THE WELFARE BILL
asserted
FOREIGNERS → increase → BILL
In one of the country’s biggest surveys of two families, the Reformer can exclusively report that white people much prefer to live next to white people.
asserted
people → report → people
The families in question say their lives are being made a misery by having a man called Zia Yusuf as their next door neighbour.
asserted
lives → say → neighbour
“It’s got nothing to do with Zia being a brown Muslim,” said Trevor Bloke.
asserted
Bloke → get → nothing
“I don’t care what colour or religion he is.
asserted
he → care → ?
What’s intolerable is that he is a deeply unpleasant person who goes out of his way to be rude to everyone.
asserted
who → ’ → everyone
He thinks he owns the whole street.
asserted
he → think → street
We all just wish he would leave.
asserted
he → wish → ?
It’s doing my head in.
asserted
It → do → head
I’m now on maximum Pip payments for my anxiety and I can no longer work.”
HOW TO SPOT A NIGERIAN SCAMMER
by
asserted
I → ’m → SCAMMER
We’ve all had it.
asserted
We → have → it
You know they are black because deep down, every black person wants to try to scam your bank account.
asserted
person → know → account
Not a nice feeling when you’ve just been transferred £5m as a gift from a Thai-based billionaire.
asserted
you → transfer → billionaire
It’s the new something-for-nothing society.
asserted
It → ’ → nothing
Say what you like about Oswald Mosley, but he would never have tolerated such behaviour.
asserted
he → say → behaviour
Now we just accept that immigrants are trying to take over our country.
asserted
immigrants → accept → country
There you will find the criminal mastermind.
asserted
you → find → mastermind
She claims to be the leader of the opposition, but all she really wants are your credit card details.
uncertain
she → claim → opposition
Our features editor, Nigel Farage, interviews Nigel Farage.
asserted
editor → interview → Farage
With additional reporting by Nigel Farage
It’s late afternoon in autumn.
asserted
It → ’ → autumn
The sun streams through the window, its rays dancing off Nigel’s chiselled cheekbones.
asserted
rays → stream → cheekbones
Nigel is at his most relaxed, mainly because he has just sent his valet, Richard Tice, to the off-licence for a third bottle of champagne.
asserted
he → send → champagne
He smiles kindly at me.
asserted
He → smile → me
…and 33 more, not listed.
The Aporia
