A day before Monday’s 78th Primetime Emmys, giddy headlines proclaimed that reigning king of basketball Jalen Brunson would be joining host Mariska Hargitay for a pre-taped intro bit.
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king → proclaim → bit
Well, it happened.
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it → happen → ?
We got a few seconds of the real-life pals steaming work outfits together, of all things.
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pals → get → things
Then, suddenly, Hargitay was leading an “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” production number that had her singing about Guy Fieri on an airplane and cuddling up with Jean Smart in a hotel bed, in what felt uncomfortably like an ad for Marriott and United Airlines, whose logos were prominently placed.
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logos → lead → Marriott
And then she was onstage at LA’s Peacock Theater, delivering a notably brief monologue.
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she → deliver → monologue
Spanning just eight minutes, the opening segment proved to be an accurate preview of a mediocre NBC and Peacock telecast that was by turns hasty, random, heavily reliant on big-name cameos, and not much of a showcase for Hargitay at all.
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that → span → Hargitay
It was a shame, not least because Hargitay was touted as the Emmys’ first female host since Jane Lynch in 2011.
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Hargitay → tout → 2011
For many years after the Glee standout’s stint, the awards relied on a rotating cast of SNL and talk-show guys.
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awards → rely → guys
Recently, however, with late night in decline, they’ve cast a wider net, and results have been all over the map.
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results → cast → map
Following Anthony Anderson’s forgettable performance, we got an effortlessly charming turn from Eugene and Dan Levy—and then last year’s tedious, gimmick-freighted telecast, led by standup superstar Nate Bargatze.
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we → follow → Bargatze
It wasn’t just gender that set Hargitay apart from those predecessors, though.
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that → set → predecessors
She was also the Emmys’ first emcee not known primarily for her comedy work since 2008, when the five first-ever nominees in a new reality-TV-hosting category, including Ryan Seacrest and Heidi Klum, delivered what critics agreed was one of the worst ceremonies in history.
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critics → know → history
Hargitay is, of course, synonymous with Olivia Benson, the heroic sex-crimes investigator she has portrayed in NBC’s Law & Order: SVU since its 1999 premiere.
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she → portray → premiere
What casual fans might not have known is that she trained with legendary improv troupe the Groundlings and appeared in sitcoms like Seinfeld; “all I wanted to be was you,” she told Amy Poehler on the latter’s podcast, Good Hang.
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she → know → podcast
Hargitay also went into the gig with lots of goodwill from audiences inside the Peacock Theater and at home.
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Hargitay → go → home
Not only is she an advocate for survivors of sexual violence, on screen and off; she’s also in the midst of a pop-culture renaissance, having won two Emmys for the documentary she directed about her famous mom, Jayne Mansfield, conquered the one-woman play Every Brilliant Thing on Broadway, and endeared herself to Knicks fans as a stalwart supporter on the sidelines of this year’s NBA Finals.
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she → ’ → Finals
In light of all this, Variety dubbed her “a national best friend.”
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Variety → dub → her
Maybe that explains why Hargitay was just kinda there with us throughout the ceremony, more an affable companion than a genuine ringmaster.
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Hargitay → explain → ringmaster
In a monologue that was practically over before it started, she quipped about how many of the stars in the room she’d “arrested” in their guest appearances as SVU’s twisted perp of the week.
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she → start → week
There was a sendup of Nicole Kidman’s five-year-old viral AMC Theatres commercial, featuring an interjection (“That’s my line”) from Kidman herself.
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That → be → Kidman
It wasn’t the only joke of the night that felt stale (see: Hargitay griping that the Game of Thrones furs she donned to introduce two of the franchise’s stars were “hot as balls”).
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she → feel → balls
Minutes after Hargitay joked that male hosts had dominated the Emmys for so long because “for 15 straight years, Amy and Tina said no,” Poehler presented an award with a joke about the night’s losers outnumbering its winners that surpassed anything in the monologue.
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that → joke → monologue
She was only the first scene stealer in a program full of them—and I’m not even talking about the many deserving winners, to whom the Emmys do rightly belong.
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Emmys → talk → whom
(It does seem worth noting that Writing for a Drama Series winner Vince Gilligan made the strongest political statement of a telecast whose scripted portions steered conspicuously clear of controversy, urging Americans to show each other respect and “stop listening to a relative few who tell us that that is for suckers and who get their power from dividing us.”)
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who → seem → us
Presenting the award for Lead Actor in a Drama Series, frequent awards-show MVP John Mulaney eclipsed the monologue in both humor and stage time with a tongue-in-cheek celebration of men that ultimately had him reading from A Guy’s Guide to Being a Man’s Man by Frank Vincent.
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him → present → Vincent
Andrew Rannells swooped in with a burst of musical theater energy to save Hargitay’s shaky song about canceled series.
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Rannells → swoop → series
The host didn’t even get to own the obligatory pre-taped SVU parody, whose mock-investigation into whether Taylor Swift would attend the Emmys landed as a flimsy excuse to get the most famous entertainer on Earth (who is also famously an SVU superfan and Hargitay pal) on screen.
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who → get → screen
All told, it was neither an excruciating Emmys nor a great one.
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it → tell → ?
The Catherine O’Hara tribute from her on-screen children Macaulay Culkin, Annie Murphy, and Dan Levy stood out as moving in its genuine warmth and specificity.
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tribute → stand → warmth
More often, opportunities to honor a beloved person or show were squandered; was Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz presenting an award together really the exciting 30th anniversary Buffy the Vampire Slayer reunion fans were anticipating?
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fans → honor → anniversary
Similarly, Hargitay didn’t embarrass herself.
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Hargitay → embarrass → herself
Many of the flaws in her performance should be blamed on lackluster writing, from a non sequitur segue after her self-deprecating Ghoulies flashback to that unforgivable “Hannah Mammogramma” pun.
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Many → blame → pun
She may have failed to match the Levys’ energy or belatedly prove herself as a great comic talent, but at least she avoided a Bargatze- or Seacrest-level disaster and came out with her likability intact.
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likability → fail → disaster
Regardless of whether she gets invited back, here’s to the Emmys giving women more chances to be wonderful, awful, and even just-OK Emmys hosts.
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Emmys → invite → chances
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