First Minister John Swinney and singer Morrissey don’t appear to have much in common.
asserted
Swinney → appear → much
One’s an aloof eccentric who divides the crowd into lovers and haters.
asserted
who → ’ → lovers
And the other’s the former singer with pop heroes The Smiths.
asserted
other → ’ → heroes
But addressing delegates at the SNP’s annual conference, Mr Swinney revealed a formerly unknown affinity with pop’s Myrmidon of Misery.
asserted
Swinney → address → Misery
A common lie peddled by senior SNP figures is that each and every thing said and done by their Unionist opponents is motivated by panic.
asserted
thing → peddle → panic
Nationalist First Ministers are fond of telling their supporters they’ve ‘got them scared’.
asserted
them → tell → supporters
Mr Swinney told his acolytes the stars were aligning in their favour.
asserted
stars → tell → favour
They were winning the battle, persuading increasing numbers of Scots that their best future lay in an independent nation.
asserted
future → win → nation
Unionists, he said, were united in their panic.
asserted
he → say → panic
‘You might say,’ said the First Minister, ‘There’s panic on the streets of London.’
uncertain
Minister → say → London
A sufficient number of delegates caught the reference to the 40-year-old Smiths hit for a ripple of laughter to break out.
asserted
ripple → catch → laughter
The idea, however, that Prime Minister Andy Burnham, Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch, or any other Unionist politician, is panicked by the SNP is a joke.
asserted
Burnham → panic → SNP
Had Mr Swinney been inclined to level with his audience, he might have admitted ‘I know it’s over’.
uncertain
it → incline → audience
Instead he continued to argue that the independence movement was unstoppable.
asserted
movement → continue → ?
John Swinney joins transport minister Stephen Flynn at the SNP's conference in Aberdeen
Morrissey, of iconic band The Smiths, whose songs featured in Mr Swinney's speech
2026 had been a special year for the SNP, said the First Minister.
asserted
Minister → join → SNP
And who would argue with that?
asserted
who → argue → that
Not many parties of government see their former chief executive jailed for embezzling hundreds of thousands of pounds.
asserted
executive → see → pounds
But, no, of course Mr Swinney wasn’t referring to that astonishing crime.
asserted
Swinney → refer → crime
He was, instead, indulging the fantasy that Scotland stands on the brink of breaking away from the rest of the United Kingdom: a rush and a push and the land that we stand on is ours.
asserted
we → indulge → that
The truth is that these things take time and the SNP is too impatient by half.
asserted
SNP → take → half
John Swinney told delegates that Scotland was ‘ready’ to become independent.
asserted
Scotland → tell → delegates
This will have come as news to anyone with a job, a mortgage, or a pension who – more than 12 years after the SNP led the Yes movement to defeat in the 2014 referendum – is still without vital answers on the economy of a new nation.
asserted
SNP → come → nation
The first and most important is that the majority of Scots do not support independence.
asserted
majority → support → independence
The second is that John Swinney has no plan for achieving it beyond a plaintive cry of please, please, please, let me get what I want.
asserted
I → have → what
This failure to address key questions about the costs of independence means that the SNP continues to get nowhere fast on the constitutional question.
asserted
SNP → address → question
The ghost of Nicola Sturgeon wafted around the room as Mr Swinney spoke.
asserted
Swinney → waft → room
Her corporeal form may flit around London but her presence looms over the SNP’s incoherent politics.
uncertain
presence → flit → politics
The First Minister bragged that the Scottish parliament now has its largest ever pro-independence majority and that is certainly true.
asserted
that → brag → majority
But does he really want to tie himself to the Scottish Greens, a party that refuses to accept ‘some girls are bigger than others’ because those girls are boys?
asserted
girls → want → others
When John Swinney tells his supporters they have their opponents on the run, it’s a miserable lie.
asserted
it → tell → run
The First Minister ‘wants the one he can’t have and it’s driving him mad’.
asserted
it → want → him
There was a hint of policy in his speech with news that the First Minister plans to bring the bus network back into public ownership.
asserted
Minister → be → ownership
Given the SNP’s record of incompetence, the chance that a double-decker bus crashes into us is almost certain to rise.
asserted
bus → give → us
Money changes everything, of course, and Mr Swinney let it be known that the SNP’s finances are in rude health.
asserted
finances → change → health
The party would soon launch its ‘most sophisticated’ independence campaign yet, funded with a ‘six-figure war chest’.
asserted
party → launch → chest
It’s true what they say about blind loyalty.
asserted
they → ’ → loyalty
SNP members, having been robbed by Peter Murrell, shrugged ‘what difference does it make?’ and continued donating.
asserted
it → rob → difference
When John Swinney became leader of the SNP, he pledged to be the man who would lead Scotland to independence.
asserted
who → become → independence
But with his party running out of ideas and the Yes movement in disarray, it could not be clearer that the First Minister ‘started something he couldn’t finish’.
uncertain
he → run → something
You just haven’t earned it yet, baby.
asserted
You → earn → it
The Aporia
