Seven fraternity members accused of drugging and raping a Cornell student.
asserted
members → accuse → student
As a mother of four daughters, I read those accounts and think: That could be my child.
uncertain
That → read → accounts
Then I think about conversations I have already heard.
asserted
I → think → conversations
My daughters and their friends have talked about being at parties where a guy touches them inappropriately, but they don’t want to make a big deal out of it.
asserted
they → talk → it
About finding themselves in situations they want to leave, only to discover how difficult leaving can feel.
asserted
leaving → find → situations
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asserted
Sign → sign → California
I hear those stories and get stuck on one question: Why does a young woman feel responsible for keeping everyone comfortable, when someone has made her uncomfortable?
asserted
her → hear → everyone
As a mother, that is painful to sit with.
asserted
that → sit → mother
I want my daughters to be confident, independent, and open to the world.
asserted
daughters → want → world
I also want them to recognize danger.
asserted
them → want → danger
Holding those hopes together is one of the hardest parts of watching them grow up.
asserted
them → hold → parts
And it has made me examine the lessons girls absorb, including the ones we never mean to teach.
asserted
we → make → ones
Then a boy crosses a boundary, and somehow the girl is left deciding whether objecting would make her difficult.
asserted
her → cross → boundary
“Boys will be boys” gives boys permission to act inappropriately and hands girls the burden of managing the consequences.
asserted
be → give → consequences
I don’t want another generation buying into this harmful narrative.
asserted
generation → want → narrative
I have spent years thinking about my daughters’ education and opportunities.
asserted
I → spend → education
These conversations bring me back to something more basic: Do they feel entitled to say no?
asserted
they → bring → something
To leave without offering an explanation that satisfies everyone else?
asserted
that → leave → everyone
I want my daughters and their friends to know they can call me regardless of whatever happened before that call.
asserted
whatever → want → call
They don’t have to prepare a defense of where they went, what they drank, or whom they trusted before asking for help.
asserted
they → have → help
Responsibility for assault belongs to the person who commits it.
asserted
who → belong → it
That is why the response from Cal State San Marcos President Ellen Neufeldt caught my attention.
asserted
response → catch → attention
She addressed the reports publicly, and the university says it added overnight residential security and around-the-clock front-desk staffing at some residence halls.
asserted
it → address → halls
I give her credit for that.
asserted
I → give → that
As a mother, I find concrete action more reassuring than carefully polished statements.
asserted
action → find → statements
It does not erase what students reported, nor does it guarantee safety, but it tells me that campus leadership recognizes there is work to do.
asserted
leadership → erase → me
When I entrust a university with my daughter, I expect her safety to come before its reputation.
asserted
safety → entrust → reputation
I want to know who will answer when she needs help and what happens after she asks.
asserted
she → want → help
The Cornell case leaves me with troubling questions.
asserted
case → leave → questions
A former student alleges that seven Chi Phi fraternity members sexually assaulted her in October 2024.
asserted
members → allege → October
Cornell says its investigation and hearing resulted in sanctions, including expulsions and suspensions, and denies that the accused perpetrators got away with writing essays as punishment.
asserted
perpetrators → say → punishment
Those facts belong in the conversation.
asserted
facts → belong → conversation
So does the student’s allegation that the institution failed her.
asserted
institution → do → her
Her attorney says she wanted to leave, but could not afford to forfeit tuition that Cornell refused to refund.
uncertain
Cornell → say → that
I keep thinking about that detail: a young woman wanting distance from a place she associated with trauma, with money standing in the way.
asserted
money → think → way
I cannot read that only as a dispute over university procedures.
asserted
I → read → procedures
I imagine being her mother.
asserted
I → imagine → ?
Raising four daughters has made these fears personal.
asserted
fears → raise → daughters
It has also convinced me that conversations about safety cannot revolve entirely around what girls should do differently.
asserted
girls → convince → what
I want my daughters entering rooms where the young men have been taught that consent is freely given and can be withdrawn just as freely.
asserted
consent → want → rooms
…and 7 more, not listed.
The Aporia
