The article is a book review of Thomas Urquhart's translation of Rabelais, but it does not directly review the translation itself. Instead, it tells the story of Urquhart's life and background, born in 1611 to an aristocratic family in Northern Scotland. The author explores Urquhart's upbringing at Castle Cromarty, his education, and his travels to complete his education on the continent, where he honed his languages and social skills. Despite his privileged upbringing, Urquhart is portrayed as a failure who would later face significant challenges in his life, with 1639 marking the beginning of a major disruption in his world.
Written by the local model on 2026-08-31,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
[This is one of the finalists in the 2026 book review contest, written by an ACX reader who will remain anonymous until after voting is done.
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voting → write → reader
I’ll be posting about one of these a week for several months.
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I → post → months
When you’ve read them all, I’ll ask you to vote for a favorite, so remember which ones you liked
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you → read → ones
Let’s meet the hero of our story.
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’s → let → story
He is born Thomas Urquhart in the year 1611.
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He → bear → year
He is the third of his name and in line to become the 12th chief of the clan Urquhart, one of the older aristocratic families in Northern Scotland.
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He → become → Scotland
As such, Thomas grows up in the Castle of Cromarty, attended by numerous servants and tutors.
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Thomas → grow → servants
It is a true medieval castle, erected in the 1200s out of timber and grey stone, perched on a hill above the town of Cromarty.
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It → erect → Cromarty
It is moated, walled, turreted, and battlemented, and rises six stories to a height of one hundred and sixty feet above a narrow stream.
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It → moate → stream
Thomas grows up in these immense stone hallways, looking out from the battlements towards the sea.
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Thomas → grow → sea
The great hall where he has dinner is a massive dark chamber lined with oak.
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he → have → oak
One hundred soldiers have exercised here with pikes, and the large chimney has room for a dozen men to stand comfortably.
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men → exercise → room
While noble guests hunt for fowl on the estate, a young Thomas busies himself in the castle keep studying optics, trigonometry, natural philosophy, theories of color, the squaring of the circle, and Napier’s logarithms.
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Thomas → hunt → circle
He is tutored in Latin, Greek, and French.
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He → tutor → Latin
He pores over the family genealogy, and hears stories of the great battles that his ancestors had fought in the past.
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ancestors → pore → past
He learns the aristocratic arts: how to fence with sword and dagger, how to shoot a bow, how to wield a lance on horseback — already antiquated in this era of rifles and cannons.
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He → learn → rifles
Above all, he is taught to honor and defend the three pillars of his fading world: family, Scotland, and crown.
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he → teach → world
He will grow up to be a failure in almost every aspect of his life.
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He → grow → life
At age eleven he attends King’s College, which was apparently par for the course back in the 1600s.
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which → attend → 1600s
Thomas Hobbes went to university at thirteen, Francis Bacon at twelve, John Donne at eleven.
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Hobbes → go → eleven
It also seems like every other person in Britain was a genius in that century.
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person → seem → century
In his twenties, Urquhart travels to the continent to complete his education.
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Urquhart → travel → education
He dresses well.
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He → dress → ?
He improves his grasp of French, Italian, and Spanish.
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He → improve → French
He hobnobs with other royals and sees the artistic masterpieces that one is supposed to see.
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one → hobnob → that
Additionally, he duels anyone who shows the slightest disrespect to his native Scotland.
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who → duel → Scotland
The rest of his time is taken up with scavenging through old alleys and stalls for rare and expensive books which he brings back as plunder to his castle at Cromarty.
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he → take → Cromarty
In 1639, he feels the first rupture in his world.
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he → feel → world
The Thirty Years’ War has been raging in Central Europe since he was seven.
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he → rag → Europe
The Protestants themselves are squabbling.
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Protestants → squabble → ?
Hairline fissures emerge over minute theological nuances, which will soon widen into uncountable sects: Diggers, Seekers, Ranters, Quakers, Levellers, and Muggletonians.
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which → emerge → sects
Scotland is dominated by touchy Calvinists, who always suspect the English monarch will go back over to the Pope.
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monarch → dominate → Pope
But in 1639, things come to a head.
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things → come → head
In response to King Charles I’s attempt to assert royal supremacy over all religious matters in the isles, Scotland breaks out in riots and protests.
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Scotland → assert → riots
Representatives across the country come together and vow to resist any theological innovations from London.
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Representatives → come → London
They are known as Covenanters.
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They → know → Covenanters
Urquhart, however, lives in the small Royalist part of Scotland around Aberdeen in the north that doesn’t sign on, an island within an island.
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that → live → island
And so the pugnacious Urquhart finds himself at war with his fellow Scots.
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himself → find → Scots
All accounts suggest that, as a soldier, Urquhart was endearingly inept.
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Urquhart → suggest → soldier
His entry into the war is spirited but lacks the sort of prudence one would hope for in a military man.
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one → lack → man
…and 175 more, not listed.
