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· collected 2026-08-27 · by Peter Burke
Mel Robbins, a bestselling author and podcast host, revealed a secret about earning big tips when working as a waitress: focus on the women at the table. According to her mentor-boss, if a woman is pleased with the service, she will often suggest a generous tip to her partner. However, etiquette experts caution that ignoring men in favor of focusing solely on women is "bad hospitality" and can lead to showing favoritism. Research has shown that small interactions, such as complimenting customers, can significantly increase tips.
Written by the local model on 2026-08-27,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
Mel Robbins, a bestselling author and podcast host, has revealed a surprising secret about earning big tips as a waitress. According to Robbins, who worked at the Red Rooster Tavern in Michigan, it's not just the person picking up the check who decides the tip. Instead, she learned from her mentor that women often influence the tip by asking their male partners to give extra money to the server if they've had good service. Robbins' strategy was to focus on taking care of women at the table, as she believed they were more likely to tip well. However, hospitality experts have cautioned against ignoring anyone at the table, calling it "bad hospitality."
Written for “Tipping Restaurant Etiquette Revealed” on 2026-08-31,
grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.
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Leaning score -0.35 for article 2812 (medium confidence, 1 verified quote) · logged 2026-08-27
Mel Robbins learned an unusual lesson about earning big tips when she worked as a waitress: Pay attention to the women at the table.
asserted
she → learn → table
The bestselling author and podcast host recently recalled advice from a "mentor-boss" at the Red Rooster Tavern in Michigan about figuring out who really influences the gratuity.
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who → bestselle → gratuity
"She told me when I started waitressing the secret to getting a good tip: Understanding who has influence over who gives you the good tip," Robbins told The Wall Street Journal.
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Robbins → tell → Journal
Most might assume that if a man picks up the check, he's also deciding the tip.
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he → assume → tip
But Robbins said her mentor taught her otherwise.
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mentor → say → her
"What happens when the check comes and you've had a really good server?
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you → happen → server
What happens often is the women turn to their partners and say, 'She was great.
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She → happen → partners
Give her a good tip,'" Robbins recalled, adding that she learned "to ignore the men and to completely take fabulous care of the women.
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she → give → women
"
Robbins may be onto something about the social dynamics surrounding a tip — although hospitality and etiquette experts caution against ignoring anyone at the table.
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experts → surround → table
"I don't entirely disagree," Robert Mahon, managing partner of New York-based Mahon Hospitality Group, told Fox News Digital.
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Mahon → disagree → Digital
"In my experience, when a man is paying, the woman will often have the final judgment on the service and may suggest the tip.
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woman → pay → tip
"
But, he added, focusing solely on the women and ignoring the men is "just bad hospitality."
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focusing → add → men
"We would never encourage a server to show favoritism," Mahon said.
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Mahon → encourage → favoritism
Instead, Mahon said skilled servers pay attention to the dynamics of the entire group.
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servers → say → group
"The best servers read the whole table," Mahon said.
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Mahon → read → table
"Regardless of gender, people naturally respond to someone who is friendly and engaging.
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who → respond → someone
Ultimately, big tips come from making everyone at the table feel well-looked-after."
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everyone → come → table
Research suggests there is more psychology behind a generous tip than simply providing good service.
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Research → suggest → service
In one experiment, communication researchers John S. Seiter and Harry Weger Jr. examined whether something as simple as complimenting customers could affect gratuities.
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something → examine → gratuities
Four restaurant servers waited on 360 dining parties, either complimenting diners on their food selections or refraining from doing so, according to a study published in 2010.
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servers → wait → 2010
The researchers found servers received significantly higher tips when they complimented diners — evidence that small interpersonal interactions can potentially influence what customers leave behind.
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customers → find → what
Lisa Burdette, founder of the Dallas School of Etiquette, told Fox News Digital it's true that women can have an influence over a man's tip.
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women → tell → tip
But, she said, "a good server should always concentrate on all customers, never slighting anyone."
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server → say → anyone
Etiquette dictates that the person picking up the check ultimately determines the gratuity, Burdette said.
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Burdette → dictate → gratuity
"It should never be a topic of debate at the table," she said.
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she → say → table
