The younger generation doesn’t want our stuff.
asserted
generation → want → stuff
Upon our demise, the children are happy to accept the house, the clapped-out car and the bank account (should there be anything in it) – they are less keen on the furniture, the crockery and the table linen.
asserted
they → accept → furniture
This is according to a recent report which, while British, rings uncomfortably true.
uncertain
which → accord → report
An auctioneer is quoted in the report: “A lot of the things baby boomers collected and treasured aren’t really worth a huge amount at the moment, and [they are] flooding the market at the same time.
asserted
they → quote → time
We don’t have a lazy Jackson Pollock in the second bedroom.
asserted
We → have → bedroom
Jocasta lacks a Louis Vuitton handbag lurking in her top drawer.
asserted
Jocasta → lack → drawer
The bookshelf we inherited from Jocasta’s father is beautiful, all dark wood and skilful inlays.
asserted
we → inherit → father
As is the silver bowl we picked up two decades ago on a holiday in Mexico – probably fake silver, but it looks lovely, sitting there atop Max’s bookshelf.
asserted
it → pick → bookshelf
Plus, there are our dining table and chairs, built from Sydney blue gum by some bloke in Kempsey, the timbers so big you risk a hernia whenever you offer someone a seat.
asserted
you → be → seat
Where will these things go when we die?
asserted
we → go → ?
Younger people don’t like old stuff.
asserted
people → like → stuff
They like new things, usually with a Swedish name from IKEA.
asserted
They → like → IKEA
The old stuff is too big and too dark for the smaller spaces they are now required to occupy.
asserted
they → require → spaces
They need a sofa called a Spjütlägä, a chair called a Färklängër, and a table made entirely of lingonberries.
asserted
They → need → lingonberries
Perhaps, also, this generation has less interest in the past.
asserted
generation → have → past
I cheer on this idea, then remember my own lack of interest in my mother’s treasures.
asserted
I → cheer → treasures
After her death, it fell to me to empty her home.
asserted
it → fall → home
The stuff was well-made, but not my taste.
asserted
stuff → make → ?
Younger people don’t like old stuff.
asserted
people → like → stuff
They like new things, usually with a Swedish name from IKEA.
asserted
They → like → IKEA
I discovered that she’d taken out hefty insurance, as if every item was destined for the Louvre.
asserted
item → discover → Louvre
But the grandfather clock was, according to her, worth tens of thousands, as was the collection of British model cars collected by her husband.
uncertain
collection → accord → husband
As it turned out, the most useful things proved to be her rusty old fridge and her dented washing machine.
asserted
things → turn → ?
I dispatched them to my oldest son, then setting up a household in Victoria’s Wimmera.
asserted
I → dispatch → Wimmera
He wringed another 10 years out of them.
asserted
He → wring → them
The rest of the stuff was sold at auction, for amounts that would have reduced my mother to tears.
asserted
that → sell → tears
Even worse, from my mother’s point of view, was the complete lack of interest in the British toy car collection – insured, as I remember it, for $10,000.
asserted
I → insure → 10,000
In the absence of an offer, I became the owner.
asserted
I → become → offer
Please yell if you are interested in a 1960s Matchbox car with two missing wheels.
asserted
you → yell → wheels
I’ve hatched a plan to create a list of all the important items in the house.
asserted
I → hatch → house
I’ll take a photo of each item, explain its significance, and then send the file to my offspring.
asserted
I → take → offspring
Item: An abnormally large wax penis, which we’ve kept for over 45-years.
asserted
we → keep → years
It was a prop for the Joe Orton play What the Butler Saw, an amateur production of which was produced by Jocasta at the Australian National University.
asserted
production → see → University
I walked past the theatre one day, popped my head in the door and offered to paint her sets.
asserted
I → walk → sets
Anyway, that’s how the parents of these two children met, and so, when they throw the wax penis on the tip, as they inevitably will, at least they’ll know why we kept it.
asserted
we → ’ → it
My father had some imperfections, but he was a gregarious and creative man.
asserted
he → have → imperfections
As a British Navy guy, he worked with the Free French, helped run a Navy newspaper in the Pacific, then visited Hiroshima just months after the bomb.
asserted
he → work → bomb
Just because his ungrateful son wrote a misery memoir about his parents’ faults, doesn’t mean his achievements should be forgotten.
asserted
achievements → write → faults
It has a wooden frame, and the mount – the area between the frame and the image – consists of reeds, beautifully woven.
asserted
mount → have → reeds
Here’s the thing: the reeds were woven by her, the woman in the picture.
asserted
reeds → ’ → picture
…and 9 more, not listed.
The Aporia
