As difficult as it may be to believe, I assure you the footage you’re about to see is not from some lost, bygone era we’ve all desperately tried to forget.
uncertain
we → believe → era
At first glance, it may seem like the footage was pulled from a very dark era in American history, circa 2020.
uncertain
footage → seem → history
But your eyes deceive you.
asserted
eyes → deceive → you
The truth is, this is not a clip from the summer of George Floyd, when white people were losing their jobs because they made “OK” signs with their hands, said “All Lives Matter” on Facebook, put too much cream in their coffee, or simply because they were taking up space that was earmarked for a neurodivergent DEI hire from Tanzania or something.
asserted
that → lose → Tanzania
In reality, this footage is from just a couple of days ago, and aired on a program called ABC World News Tonight — which happens to be the most-watched evening newscast in the entire country.
asserted
which → air → country
Nearly 10 million people watch this show every night.
asserted
people → watch → show
It may be shocking to consider that anyone still watches a network news broadcast, let alone 10 million people.
uncertain
anyone → consider → people
It’s like finding out that 10 million people still use VCRs or floppy disks.
asserted
people → ’ → VCRs
But, for whatever reason, network news is one obsolete piece of technology that people still use.
asserted
people → use → that
They use it because, allegedly, the show gives them a rundown of the most important stories of the day.
uncertain
show → use → day
And with everyone concerned about the cost of living and war in the Middle East, here’s what World News Tonight decided to cover:
asserted
Tonight → concern → East
Two students made “racially offensive gestures outside a black student’s apartment,” according to ABC News.
uncertain
students → make → News
Specifically, they beat their chests and “grunted like monkeys.”
asserted
they → beat → monkeys
Ole Miss, which is supposedly “investigating” the incident, has also already decided that the women engaged in “offensive, hurtful and unacceptable behavior.”
asserted
women → investigate → behavior
In other words, they’ve already decided the female students are guilty, and the investigation is a sham.
asserted
investigation → decide → words
Most emotionally healthy people who are at least mildly intelligent will see this footage and wonder why they should care at all.
asserted
they → see → footage
What possible relevance could it have to anyone?
uncertain
it → have → anyone
The answer is that there are no implications.
asserted
answer → be → ?
It’s not relevant, and that’s what any rational person will conclude very quickly.
asserted
person → ’ → what
Less rational people — who, I assume, are the target demo for World News Tonight — will see this footage, shake their heads about how “racism is alive and well in America,” and move on with their day.
asserted
racism → assume → day
That’s the whole point of the segment.
asserted
That → ’ → segment
But if you’re an astute observer, or if you’re condemning yourself to a lifetime of debt slavery by attending a journalism school for some reason, you might have a few pressing questions about this clip.
uncertain
you → ’re → clip
First, you might wonder why the most popular news broadcast show in America is talking about this at all.
uncertain
show → wonder → this
That’s a reasonable question that will remain unanswered for all eternity.
asserted
that → ’ → eternity
Secondly, you might wonder why, exactly, it’s “racially offensive” to imitate a monkey.
uncertain
it → wonder → monkey
The anchor casually suggests that there’s a clear association between black people and monkeys, but strangely enough, he’s not the one being accused of racism here.
uncertain
he → suggest → racism
Imagine that three people are sitting on a bus.
asserted
people → imagine → bus
Then imagine that you make a random comment about how you think pigs are disgusting.
asserted
pigs → imagine → comment
Then imagine that I point to the fat woman and say, “How dare you make that kind of comment about her!”
asserted
you → imagine → her
Who is guilty of insulting the fat woman in that case?
asserted
Who → insult → case
Between the two of us, who has more clearly revealed their opinion about the fat woman’s resemblance to a pig?
asserted
who → reveal → pig
This is a riddle worth considering as we proceed.
asserted
we → consider → ?
In this case, the two Ole Miss girls are being accused of racism because they allegedly performed this imitation “outside a black student’s apartment.”
uncertain
they → accuse → apartment
But ABC News never informs us whether or not these girls understood that a black student lives in that apartment.
asserted
student → inform → apartment
Nor do they provide any reporting about whether these girls may have been imitating monkeys in front of other apartments — including apartments where there are no black tenants.
uncertain
girls → provide → apartments
These are obviously important details — the kind you’d expect would be ironed out before a national news program decided to run with the story that permanently destroyed the reputation of two young women.
asserted
that → expect → women
Of course, this “white people making monkey noises at black people” stuff is nearly always fake.
asserted
stuff → make → people
It’s a genre comprised almost entirely of fiction.
asserted
It → ’ → fiction
Black race hustlers have been desperate for some white person somewhere to actually make monkey noises as a racist gesture, but none ever do, so they’re left clinging to this kind of thing.
asserted
they → make → thing
If you were to compile a master list of all of the monkey noise-related controversies this century, and determine how many of the stories were real and actually had deliberate racial connotations, the rate of fakeness would almost certainly be upwards of 99%.
asserted
rate → compile → fakeness
…and 259 more, not listed.
The Aporia
