While the lore says the bride is always the most beautiful person in the room, Australian influencer Tahlia Skaines has a knack for challenging that assumption.
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Skaines → say → assumption
Skaines may have committed a bridal faux pas after turning up to a friend’s wedding in Greece in a plunging lemon-yellow gown — prompting critics to accuse her of one of matrimony’s most controversial offenses.
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Skaines → commit → offenses
“Literally outdid the bride!” one commenter declared on her Instagram after the 31-year-old posted photos from the nuptials, while others gushed that she looked “magical.”
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she → outdo → nuptials
In 2024, after wearing a revealing cream-colored cutout gown to another wedding in Bali, critics online were quick to call the look “tacky” and inappropriate for someone else’s big day.
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critics → wear → day
Skaines pushed back at the time, saying guests had actually been instructed to wear white — and that the bride herself loved her dress.
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bride → push → dress
Now, despite ditching white for yellow, she’s once again found herself at the center of the same debate: When does looking fabulous at a wedding cross the line into stealing the bride’s spotlight?
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looking → ditch → spotlight
Etiquette and fashion experts say there’s a big difference between dressing to impress and dressing to steal the show — and simply being beautiful, glamorous or even the best-dressed person in the room isn’t necessarily poor form.
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being → say → room
“You cannot upstage a bride simply by looking beautiful,” fashion designer Amanda Perna told The Post.
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Perna → upstage → Post
“You upstage a bride when your choices intentionally redirect attention toward you.”
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choices → upstage → you
Perna, founder and creative director of The House of Perna and a two-time “Project Runway” designer, has a simple mantra for wedding guests: “Be memorable, but don’t become the event.
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Perna → have → guests
That means skipping the obvious bridal offenders—like wearing any variation of white—unless specifically requested, and avoiding the dramatic trains, bridal-style lace, or pretty much anything that could be mistaken for a bridal gown.
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that → mean → gown
She’d also said to avoid wearing anything so revealing or theatrical that it becomes the main topic of conversation.
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it → say → conversation
“My test is: Is everyone going to remember how great I looked, or are they going to remember that I wore THAT to someone else’s wedding?” Perna said.
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Perna → go → wedding
But a guest shouldn’t have to deliberately dial down her own looks to protect a bride’s ego, according to etiquette expert Nick Leighton.
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guest → have → Leighton
“It’s true that you shouldn’t go out of your way to upstage a bride, but you’re also allowed to look your best, too,” said Leighton, co-host of the etiquette podcast “Were You Raised By Wolves?”
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You → ’ → Wolves
“Etiquette doesn’t require you to dim your light, but it does require you to be mindful of the occasion.
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it → require → occasion
For Leighton, the real judge is what’s on the invitation: What was the dress code, and did the couple give instructions about colors, themes, or formality?
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couple → ’ → colors
“If Tahlia followed the invitation — both in letter and spirit — then she’s in the clear,” he said.
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he → follow → clear
But it’s a dilemma that has sent the internet into a spiral.
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that → ’ → spiral
In one viral Reddit confession, a wedding guest wondered whether she had “upstaged” a bride by wearing a dove-gray saree, even though she showed the outfit to both the bride and groom before the wedding and received their approval.
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she → wonder → approval
At the reception, she said the groom’s mother repeatedly complimented her while members of the bridal party bristled, with one bridesmaid even allegedly attempting to spill a drink on her, which for Reddit was too far.
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which → say → Reddit
“You had taken every possible precaution with your outfit,” one person wrote.
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person → take → outfit
And experts say the attention-grabbing guest problem can go well beyond what someone is wearing.
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someone → say → what
“Every guest wants to feel like part of the wedding,” said Stacy Stahl, co-founder of wedding entertainment app Betting on the Wedding.
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Stahl → want → Wedding
“The wrong kind of guest makes the day about her outfit,” she said.
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she → make → outfit
“The right kind makes the couple’s moments the whole show.”
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moments → make → ?
And for anyone standing in front of the mirror wondering whether they’ve crossed into no-go territory, Perna said there is a final test.
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Perna → stand → territory
“If someone posted a photo of you standing next to the bride, would anyone wonder which one of you was getting married?” she said.
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she → post → you
The Aporia
