You’ll see us rolling up to Madison Square Garden, confidently solo and wearing Bob Mackie minidresses we thrifted on our travels.
asserted
we → see → travels
You’ll hear us singing along to old One Direction songs with the crowd at Wembley Stadium, just like the younger women — also “Harries” — who could be our daughters.
uncertain
who → hear → women
You’ll watch us hit “buy” on our Delta flight apps at a moment’s notice, spending $2,000 in a heartbeat (or in our case, a drumbeat) to chase a last-minute concert ticket on a different continent.
asserted
us → watch → continent
Then you’ll wonder: Who are these people?
asserted
people → wonder → ?
I’ll tell you.
asserted
I → tell → you
We are 50-something women with prestigious jobs, designer closets, elite academic pedigrees, and the knowledge that it’s possible to find pure, unfiltered joy, connection, and community by touring around the world for Harry Styles shows.
asserted
it → ’ → shows
We regret nothing.
asserted
We → regret → nothing
From ‘desperately sad’ to dancing queen
By the time Harry Styles wraps his historic 30-night residency at Madison Square Garden, I will have hit his “Together, Together” tour 37 times.
asserted
I → dance → tour
In fact, I’ll turn 51 right inside the Garden as Harry takes the stage on Halloween.
asserted
Harry → turn → Halloween
I’m fully aware this sounds over-the-top, but I promise: This is the opposite of a midlife crisis.
asserted
This → ’m → crisis
It feels like a midlife return to my absolute rawest, most authentic self, backed by decades of survival, grief and therapy.
asserted
It → feel → survival
It began 12 years ago with a one-two punch.
asserted
It → begin → punch
I had my “dream job” as a huge editor at Cosmopolitan magazine.
asserted
I → have → magazine
That is, until a gloomy overlord took over my department and made work a living hell for me and my colleagues.
asserted
work → take → me
(He was later accused of inappropriate and lewd behavior )
asserted
He → accuse → behavior
Then my mom died suddenly, knocking what was left of my fighting spirit right out of me.
asserted
what → die → me
I was desperately sad and angry, so I moved home to Indianapolis.
asserted
I → move → Indianapolis
The cost of living meant I could be closer to my family while staying afloat financially.
uncertain
I → mean → family
With a little more time on my hands, I began volunteering as a counselor at a grief camp for kids.
asserted
I → begin → kids
I learned it’s cool to be vulnerable — even as my loud, ridiculous, authentic self.
asserted
it → learn → self
We played a lot of Harry Styles in the bunks.
asserted
We → play → bunks
I hit my first Harry Styles concert in 2021, just as the isolation of the pandemic was lifting.
asserted
isolation → hit → pandemic
When the party began, I felt my emotional armor drop, and even though I went to the concert alone, the total strangers around me instantly felt like blood.
asserted
strangers → begin → blood
I felt weightless, totally out of body, yet completely present.
asserted
I → feel → body
It’s a high I vowed to chase.
asserted
I → ’ → ?
The rush of connection and happiness I felt led to my new motto: “Always go to the show — it just might change your life.”
uncertain
it → feel → life
I inked the first part on my arm in Los Angeles, making permanent the contract I’d made with myself: Go to every gig possible, and never look back.
asserted
I → ink → gig
I didn’t know it at the time, but the motto linked me back to my mom and a conversation she’d had with her best friend from college, a woman named Teri.
asserted
she → know → college
“When I retire, will you play with me?” Teri had texted my mom, who replied, “Of course, I will.”
asserted
I → retire → mom
But my mom died before that could happen.
uncertain
that → die → ?
When Teri texted me that story last month, I understood my resolve to play as much as possible while I can on a new level.
asserted
I → texte → level
For my mom, that was Jimmy Buffett, word puzzles, and collecting salt and pepper shakers.
asserted
that → collect → shakers
For me, it’s the Together Together tour, and everything after.
asserted
it → ’ → me
As I started attending Harry Styles shows, I began meeting “my people” — a group of Gen X fans who share my radical commitment to playing with our friends as often as possible.
asserted
who → start → friends
Many are recovering “good girls” just like me—eldest daughters and gifted-kid perfectionists with late-in-life ADHD diagnoses.
asserted
Many → recover → diagnoses
We are often called “overachievers.”
asserted
We → call → ?
We are also called “a lot,” often by men trying to date us.
asserted
We → call → us
(I got “A Lot™” tattooed on the back of my neck while living in London this summer.)
asserted
Lot → get → London
We are unafraid to commit ourselves to a life of out-loud joy.
asserted
We → commit → joy
For me, that includes being unapologetic about spending tens of thousands of our hard-earned money to construct globe-trotting trips to see rock shows, taking total advantage of being single without kids — a choice that some people pity, but I wear like a badge of honor.
asserted
I → include → honor
…and 57 more, not listed.
The Aporia
