The former Geordie Shore star, 36, who shares daughters Alba and Pixi with her fiancé Jake Ankers, admitted she felt like her heart had been “ripped” out as she told fans about the devastating news.
asserted
she → share → news
She wrote on Instagram: “Last month, we got the news we’d been hoping for.
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we → write → news
We found out we were pregnant.
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we → find → ?
“It’s no secret that we’ve been trying to grow our family, so you can imagine the overwhelming happiness we felt when we saw the positive test.
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we → ’ → test
“There are no words to describe how happy we were.
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we → be → ?
Being a mother is, without a doubt, the greatest gift life has ever given me.
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life → give → me
“Nothing brings me more happiness than being a mam, and so the thought of growing our family filled Jake and I with so much happiness and excitement.
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thought → bring → happiness
“Especially after experiencing a silent miscarriage earlier this year, this pregnancy came with a lot of mixed emotions and nerves.
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pregnancy → experience → emotions
“I continued testing and the excitement I felt when the weeks kept going up was an indescribable feeling.”
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weeks → continue → ?
Crosby shared an ultrasound image and added: “This was our six weeks five days!
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This → share → image
The moment we had been waiting for… that little heart beat.”
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heart → wait → ?
The influencer said her most recent pregnancy did not reach that far and so both she and Ankers “relaxed a little”.
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she → say → ?
She added: “We started really envisioning life as a family of five… a future with three kids!
“
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We → add → kids
We planned how we would tell the girls, and even started thinking about names.
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we → plan → names
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“The nerves were still there deep down, as they are with every pregnancy…and to be honest those nerves never go!
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nerves → read → pregnancy
“But we kept ourselves busy between the six and eight-week scans, filling our days with lots of fun adventures with the girls.
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we → keep → girls
He held the fort, looked after us all, and filled the house with laughter and fun.”
But at her eight-week scan, Crosby was told her baby’s heart had stopped beating.
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heart → hold → scan
She wrote: “Unfortunately on our eight week scan our world came crashing down, as we got the news we’d been petrified of all along….
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we → write → news
“’I’m so sorry, the baby’s heart has stopped beating.’
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heart → ’m → ?
“It felt like someone had ripped our hearts out of our chests.
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someone → feel → chests
We lost another baby, another silent miscarriage.”
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We → lose → baby
Crosby then shared a photo of her two daughters and wrote: “We are incredibly lucky, and I can’t even explain how tight I’ve held these girls this last week!
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I → share → girls
“Having them both will always be the greatest blessing we have ever received.
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we → have → them
You feel that even harder after experiencing a loss like this!
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You → feel → this
“I love you both so much.
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I → love → you
Seeing them as big sisters was something me and Jake were made up about.
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me → see → sisters
Believe me they’d be the BEST most caring big sisters.
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they → believe → me
She added: “Last night was The Wave of Light, a global event held to mark the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week.
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She → add → Week
“And last night, everything just felt so heavy.
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everything → feel → ?
The sadness felt heavy.
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sadness → feel → ?
The heartbreak felt heavy.
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heartbreak → feel → ?
“I realised that maybe I haven’t really allowed myself to process everything that’s happened.”
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that → realise → everything
She continued: “I’ve kept myself busy, stayed strong and tried to be as present as possible for the girls.
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I → continue → girls
It’s been Alba’s birthday, and I’ve wanted to make sure her days have been filled with nothing but happiness and love.
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days → want → happiness
“As crazy as this sounds for the last 16 years I’ve shared my whole life with my followers, putting my feelings into words on here helps me make sense of it all.
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me → sound → it
“Having somewhere to share my emotions helps me from keeping them bottled up.
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Having → have → them
“I’m not sure where we go from here and the future feels a little uncertain.
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future → ’m → ?
“We would absolutely love to grow out family however the fear of feeling this heartbreak again is terrifying.”
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fear → love → heartbreak
In May, Crosby revealed she had another silent miscarriage, calling it “a pain and devastation that hurt so much”.
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that → reveal → it
A silent miscarriage, also called a missed miscarriage, is one that comes with no symptoms and is only discovered at a pregnancy scan, according to the NHS.
uncertain
that → call → NHS
…and 1 more, not listed.
The Aporia
