Don’t get me wrong — Alexandrina Victoria, Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 1837 to 1901, was quite the monarch, wielding the sceptre influentially while the British Empire expanded hungrily around the world.
asserted
Empire → get → world
For 63 years she rocked the crown hard, all while managing to elude eight — eight! — assassination attempts.
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she → rock → attempts
What she didn’t do is play golf.
asserted
do → play → golf
Which has me wondering, as I stand on the first tee of the Jubilee Course in St. Andrews, Scotland, if it’s fair that this beautiful, intricate links was named in honour of the famously prim and proper queen’s Diamond Jubilee, her 60th year on the throne, when it opened in 1897.
asserted
it → have → 1897
These thoughts are dancing in my mind as I take my first swing of the day, bunting a drive down the first fairway of the Jubilee links, and that, really, is the point: You can’t play the older courses of St. Andrews and not feel history swirling almost palpably around you.
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history → dance → you
It is most true, naturally, on the renowned Old Course, which dates to the 1400s and is the oldest course in the world.
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which → date → world
Walking its centuries-old fairways, the memory of thrilling exploits by the game’s greatest players, from the father and son tandem of Old and Young Tom Morris to modern giants like Jack Nicklaus and Seve Ballesteros, practically oozes up into your shoes.
asserted
memory → walk → shoes
But the spell of history is cast everywhere you go in this small seaside village, whether you’re on the golf courses or the cobblestone streets, where plaques and monuments and ruins abound, pulling you into the astonishing story of St. Andrews at every turn.
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plaques → cast → turn
And alternating rounds of golf with explorations of the town’s past — at times a shockingly bloody past — is in some ways the ultimate Scottish sojourn.
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alternating → alternate → ways
Yet the New Course, which opened in 1895, and the Jubilee Course, debuting two years later, are fascinating links with intriguing stories of their own.
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which → open → own
And on this trip I’m determined to give all three of these historic courses their due and at the same time dig a little deeper into some enduring mysteries of St. Andrews itself.
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I → ’m → Andrews
My 22-year-old son Dash and I arrive on a Sunday morning, when the Old Course is closed to golfers but open to all others, and the links are swarming with townspeople and their dogs out for a romp.
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links → arrive → romp
We make our way across Grannie Clark’s Wynd (the path that cuts across the first and 18th fairways), then up past the West Sands beach where the opening of “Chariots of Fire” was filmed, to the New and Jubilee clubhouse.
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opening → make → clubhouse
We hadn’t made tee times in advance, but the two courses set aside a fair number of places for walk-ups, and Dash gets an afternoon spot on the New Course.
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Dash → make → Course
Designed by Old Tom Morris, golf’s first great player and course architect, the New Course was the second one laid out on the peninsula.
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Course → design → peninsula
It is in some ways similar to the Old Course, sharing a few characteristics like several double fairways (each extra-wide and shared by two holes) and one double green (ditto), though it is shorter and has fewer dramatic contours.
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it → share → contours
Dash steps to the tee and, after one quick practice swing, blasts a drive down the right side of the hillock- and gorse-lined fairway, then heads off after the ball, pushing his clubs on a rental trolley (the greens fee was 155 British pounds).
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fee → step → trolley
Following his round and a post-round pint in the clubhouse, we walk back to our VRBO flat, but pause at the stone obelisk located behind the Old Course’s 18th green, and it’s here that the town’s turbulent history first makes itself known.
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itself → follow → green
“Martyrs’ Monument,” I read on a small plaque for “those put to death for asserting their religious beliefs.
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I → read → beliefs
“Hmm,” I say idly.
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I → say → ?
“Nope,” says Dash, reading words carved higher on the tower.
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Dash → say → tower
And that’s indeed what it says, naming four Protestants who were burned at the stake in 1528 — just the first taste of the violent local history we would encounter over the next four days.
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we → ’ → days
On the Jubilee Course
Day two finds us out on the Jubilee Course and me in my first-tee reverie.
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Day → find → reverie
With us on this round are two visiting Americans and the two caddies Dash and I had hired, one of whom, Paul Appleton, is an experienced English bag man.
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one → visit → whom
He is full of wit and charm as well as excellent advice, precisely selecting clubs for Dash and giving him great reads on the greens.
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He → select → greens
(Greens fees were 155 pounds plus 120 pounds for each of the caddies, including tips.)
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fees → include → tips
Paul says that good players regard the Jubilee as “better than the Old Course,” and indeed the “Jube,” as we come to call it, is a revelation.
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we → say → it
Originally a 12-hole “pitch-and-putt” course for women and children, it has been modified many times over the decades and is now a glorious links and a stern test of championship golf.
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it → pitch → golf
Each hole is a beauty, especially with the gorse in bright yellow bloom, and the finishing stretch in particular is stunning as it winds through the dunes.
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it → finish → dunes
Playing from the forward tees with my injury-afflicted swing, I manage a respectable round and finish a few shots ahead of Dash.
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I → play → Dash
“Hah,” I proclaim as we leave the 18th green, “pretty good for an old hack!”
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we → proclaim → hack
Following the caddy Paul’s advice, that night we end up at Tailend on Market Street, for the best fish and chips we’ll find in town.
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we → follow → town
On another evening we have an excellent curry at Jahangir (again, thank you, Paul!), although we decline to partake of the haggis pakora.
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we → have → pakora
Most every night we wash up at the Central, a lively Market Street pub frequented more by locals and college students than tourists, it seems, and an ideal spot for a dram before bed.
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it → wash → bed
Exploring off the greens
As great as the golf, food and drink were, however, my thoughts continually crept back to the town’s history.
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thoughts → explore → history
With fewer than 20,000 residents, St. Andrews is a remarkably small town, given the oversize role it plays in Scotland’s history.
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it → give → history
It was named for St. Andrew the Apostle, who with his brother was one of the Galilean fishermen whom Jesus enticed to, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
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you → name → men
Various versions of the story exist, but the gist is that sometime in the fourth century a religious character known as St. Rule (or St. Regulus) was shipwrecked off the coast of Scotland while bearing a tooth, kneecap, humerus and three fingers from St. Andrew’s remains, having been commanded by an angel to take them “to the utmost part of the world.”
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character → exist → world
Thus did the town come by its saintly name.
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town → come → name
Visiting the cathedral grounds where these gruesome relics were originally enshrined is a haunting experience.
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relics → visit → grounds
…and 16 more, not listed.
The Aporia
