“Do you want the bad news, or … the worse news?” the head of a local community association is asking me.
asserted
head → want → me
“The bad news first,” I reply, my heart sinking.
asserted
heart → reply → ?
“I’m sorry but we don’t have a microphone for your talk tonight.”
asserted
we → ’m → talk
I feel a momentary rush of relief.
asserted
I → feel → relief
I smile back, encouragingly.
asserted
I → smile → ?
“Don’t worry, I can just talk louder.”
asserted
I → worry → ?
I see a nerve in his jaw twitch, his face still grim.
asserted
face → see → jaw
“That’s nice,” he says, “but the worse news is the room next door has been booked by a Chinese drum troupe.”
asserted
room → ’ → troupe
Many people imagine an author’s life to be a dream-like existence, spending hours floating in your imagination only to come up for air from time to time to head off for a creative confab with a grateful publisher or a signing session with adoring fans.
asserted
life → imagine → fans
But for a large number of writers, with so many independent publishing houses closed down, bigger companies slimmed, advances slashed and book sales tumbling, it’s less an exquisitely rewarding reverie and far more a brutal battle for survival.
asserted
it → close → survival
Once, we simply banked the advance, signed a few books, tried our best to charm interviewers and then (with any luck) watched the royalties roll in.
asserted
royalties → bank → luck
Now, it’s about putting yourself incessantly out there to sell as many books as you possibly can.
uncertain
you → ’ → books
You pay for your own launches, beg media for coverage, give talks, hold workshops, get grilled at festivals, spend hours on your socials, and sacrifice any last vestiges of pride to ask bookshops if you can sign your latest titles in the hope they’ll be displayed more prominently.
asserted
they → pay → hope
“No, thanks,” one bookstore assistant once told me.
asserted
assistant → tell → me
“It spoils the book for the reader.”
asserted
It → spoil → reader
Of course, I’m not complaining.
asserted
I → complain → ?
It is a tremendous privilege to be able to write for a living, and I love it.
asserted
I → write → it
But it can still be pretty tough at times, and in such humbling ways readers might never imagine.
uncertain
readers → imagine → ways
I shouted at the top of my lungs for 45 minutes, trying to make myself heard to my small but eager audience over the deafening boom of the dagu (bass drum), the clash of cymbals and the tinkling of the chime bells.
asserted
myself → shout → bells
Every so often there’d be a pause in the wall of sound, and I’d hear myself screeching into the void.
asserted
myself → hear → void
I lost my voice for two days.
asserted
I → lose → days
You spend much time, these days, travelling around the country to talk to clubs and associations, library groups, book groups, and at bookshops and festivals.
asserted
You → spend → bookshops
It’s usually a treat to connect with readers, but sometimes it can be a trial.
asserted
it → ’ → readers
It’s hard, for example, when an older audience member falls asleep,
asserted
member → ’ → example
especially when they’re in the front row (six times).
asserted
they → ’re → row
It can be enormously distracting watching their head loll, their mouth fall open and then waiting for the snore.
asserted
mouth → watch → snore
Of course, it’s wonderful to be invited to give talks on books but very rarely are you offered travel expenses.
asserted
you → ’ → expenses
“But we thought your publisher would pay you to come here,” is a familiar refrain.
asserted
refrain → think → you
The sole income from most engagements is when people buy books that you’ve bought at a discount and you’re selling for a bit less of a discount.
asserted
you → buy → discount
Again, it can tear your heart out when just one person comes up at the end to buy, but suggests you sell them three books for the price of one, and gets huffy when you won’t agree.
uncertain
you → tear → one
I suggested they pay me a token $100 for expenses.
uncertain
they → suggest → expenses
I never heard from them again.
asserted
I → hear → them
Of course, it can be lovely when people tell you how much they like your books, but there’s never any chance of that going to your head.
asserted
that → tell → head
I was invited by one company in an outer suburb of Greater Sydney once to come and give a talk to 200 of their employees.
asserted
I → invite → employees
I happily agreed – and was surrounded afterwards by fans – but incredibly, not one person bought a book.
asserted
person → agree → book
The next year, they asked me back, saying it had been a splendid morning.
asserted
it → ask → me
But remembering how much it had cost me in time and travel, not to mention emotional wear and tear, I suggested they pay me a token $100 for expenses.
uncertain
they → remember → expenses
I never heard from them again.
asserted
I → hear → them
And then there’s always the risk that few people – or even no one – turns up.
asserted
people → ’ → ?
A writer friend of mine did a talk in a bookshop to just one person, who looked absolutely hunted.
asserted
who → do → person
…and 6 more, not listed.
The Aporia
