'Hitler has only got one ball.’
asserted
Hitler → get → ball
You know the rest.
asserted
You → know → rest
That playground song has been passed down through generations of schoolchildren, a way of cutting the monster down to size by attacking his manhood.
asserted
song → pass → manhood
Except that, recently, the joke took a strange turn towards reality.
asserted
joke → take → reality
In a Channel 4 documentary, geneticist Professor Turi King, famous for identifying the remains of Richard III, revealed that DNA analysis of blood taken from the sofa where Hitler shot himself showed he almost certainly had Kallmann syndrome.
asserted
he → identify → syndrome
This is a rare genetic condition that disrupts hormonal development.
asserted
that → disrupt → development
Meanwhile, court documents from Jeffrey Epstein’s trial included claims about his small anatomy.
uncertain
documents → include → anatomy
But while the stories made gripping reading, it’s important to be clear there is no proven link between having a micropenis and being a monster.
asserted
it → make → micropenis
Hitler was defined by his choices and his evil, not his hormones.
asserted
Hitler → define → hormones
Epstein was a predator because of what he did, not what he looked like undressed.
asserted
he → do → what
To suggest otherwise would be to stigmatise thousands of innocent men who already carry a burden of shame they don’t deserve.
asserted
they → suggest → shame
If anything, the men I’ve treated are more likely to retreat from the world than to seek power over it.
asserted
I → treat → it
Yet the salacious headlines have done something valuable, opening up the conversation.
asserted
headlines → do → conversation
Being smaller than average is far more common, yet many men worried about their size are well within the normal range
Because having a genuinely small penis is taboo, buried under cruel jokes, and missing the compassion we extend to other physical differences.
asserted
we → worry → differences
Over the years, I’ve spoken to a number of men affected and what strikes me most is how alone each feels: they have no idea that others share their suffering, because nobody talks about it.
asserted
nobody → speak → it
A micropenis is a specific medical diagnosis: for an adult man, it means a stretched or erect length of less than approximately 7.5cm (the average length, erect, is around 13cm).
asserted
length → mean → cm
Being smaller than average is far more common, yet many men worried about their size are well within the normal range.
asserted
men → worry → range
Regardless of whether someone meets the clinical criteria, the psychological impact can be devastating.
The loneliness they experience can be crushing, but the fear of exposure is worse.
asserted
fear → meet → exposure
Research shows that men with a micropenis experience higher rates of depression, anxiety and social withdrawal.
asserted
men → show → depression
Even thinking you’re poorly endowed can affect men’s mental wellbeing.
asserted
you → think → wellbeing
Research by King’s College London in 2015 found that those with body dysmorphic disorder (characterised by being excessively preoccupied with perceived physical flaws which are often unnoticeable to others) that focused on their penis had reduced erectile function and less satisfaction with intercourse compared to controls, even though their anatomy was normal.
It would be remiss not to mention online pornography, which has given an entire generation of young men a deeply distorted sense of what is normal.
Porn performers are selected for their unusually large endowments, much as fashion models are selected for unusual height.
asserted
models → find → height
Comparing oneself to them is absurd, yet countless men do so.
asserted
men → compare → them
This is fuelling anxiety: in my NHS clinic there’s been a marked increase in young men complaining about erectile dysfunction that has no physical cause.
asserted
that → fuel → cause
But their minds are so consumed by performance anxiety they cannot function.
asserted
they → consume → anxiety
Tellingly, studies consistently show that for most women, emotional connection matters far more than measurements.
asserted
connection → show → measurements
So what can be done?
asserted
what → do → ?
For parents of children diagnosed with a micropenis, the evidence supports early hormonal treatment and, crucially, open and supportive communication.
asserted
evidence → diagnose → treatment
Children who grow up knowing their bodies are different but that they are loved fare far better than those who absorb shame in silence.
asserted
who → grow → silence
For adult men living with a micropenis or significant anxiety about their size, psychological support can be transformative.
asserted
support → live → size
Cognitive behavioural therapy, used to identify negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of responding to difficult emotions, can help (ask your GP for a referral, or self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies; private therapy is also available and the Sexual Advice Association offers support and guidance on all kinds of sexual health concerns).
asserted
Association → use → concerns
Sex therapy – sessions with a qualified sex therapist – can help individuals and couples explore intimacy beyond penetrative sex (often available on the NHS via your GP or urologist; or privately via the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists).
asserted
individuals → help → Therapists
Another patient who came to me in his 50s after a lifetime of avoidance because of his micropenis is now, following therapy and online support, in a happy relationship.
asserted
who → come → relationship
‘I wish I’d done this 30 years ago,’ he told me.
asserted
he → wish → me
‘All that time I wasted being afraid.’
asserted
I → waste → time
We’ve made enormous strides in discussing women’s body image and the pressure of unrealistic beauty standards.
asserted
We → make → standards
It is time we extended the same compassion to men.
asserted
we → extend → men
And for anyone affected, the first step is always the hardest.
asserted
step → affect → anyone
But it is worth taking.
asserted
it → take → ?
The Aporia
