1. I Listened
First off—I’m lying.
asserted
I → listen → ?
I didn’t listen to Trump’s speech.1
asserted
I → listen → ?
I read the transcript instead.
asserted
I → read → transcript
So as a public service, let me share some annotated excerpts from Trump’s 15,000-word, 105-minute psychotic break.
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me → let → break
“If we hand America’s future to the radical left Democrats and our nation will spend the next decade just getting back on its feet, it will be a tragedy.
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it → hand → feet
Vote Republican and we will leave the world in our dust for generations to come.”
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we → vote → generations
If Trump’s party loses, America is ruined for forever!
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America → lose → ?
But if Trump’s party wins, America will be great for forever!
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America → win → ?
Unless the Democrats win the next election.
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Democrats → win → election
At which point all of Trump’s permanent gains are reset.
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all → reset → gains
“[I]f we lose, you’re going to lose your border, you’re going to lose your tax cuts, you’re going to lose your safety and security, you’re going to lose your wealth.
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you → lose → wealth
Our country is going through hell.”
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country → go → hell
Trump claims he had the greatest two years of presidenting ever—but all of that will be wiped away if Republicans lose the midterms.
uncertain
Republicans → claim → midterms
Just goes to show how fragile success is, I guess?
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I → go → ?
“By the way, you know, I just put out, because you know Lake Ontario, we’re gonna call that now Lake America, you know that.
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you → know → that
The, uh, other one we came up with today, well, we could go into oceans like the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic.
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we → come → Ocean
We can’t have both.
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We → have → both
I don’t think you can do both, that’s [inaudible].
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that → think → both
But we did come up with one the other day which we think is appropriate.
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we → come → one
You have a neighboring state, New Mexico.
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You → have → state
We think it should be called New America, New America.
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it → think → ?
I’ll tell you, the people love the idea.
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people → tell → idea
New America, your neighbor is called New America.
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neighbor → call → ?
”
What’s this cuck talk about not having both oceans?
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talk → ’ → oceans
“And food prices and almost every other item are rapidly going down.
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prices → go → ?
And by the way, oil will be going down as soon as we win the war with Iran, which is taking place right now.
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which → go → place
We’ll win it.
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We → win → it
We’re winning it.
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We → win → it
We control the Hormuz Strait.
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We → control → Strait
I think we should call the Hormuz Strait, we should call it the Trump [Strait].
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we → think → it
We will win!
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We → win → ?
We are winning!
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We → win → ?
We have already won!
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We → win → ?
The Iranians might be able to stop the flow of oil, but they can’t stop Big Orange from forcing Google and Apple to change the name of the strait on their maps.
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they → stop → maps
That’s real power.
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That → ’ → ?
Now you’re, we’re the biggest in the world.
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we → ’re → world
And that’s without Venezuela, which we’ve just added to our little stockpile.
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we → ’ → stockpile
It’s, it’s the biggest oil deal and probably it’s the biggest deal in the history of our country.
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it → ’ → country
65 billion barrels are ours and you know what they say it is?
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it → know → ?
He just . . . he just said it.
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he → say → it
…and 14 more, not listed.
The Aporia
