There are two kinds of people in Los Angeles: people who decorate for Halloween, and people who live north of Montana in Santa Monica and apparently have access to the Warner Bros. prop department.
asserted
who → be → department
Every October, the streets around 16th and Georgina become a destination for people who want to see what happens when expensive real estate meets an unlimited enthusiasm for fake corpses.
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estate → become → corpses
In most neighborhoods, a pumpkin and a plastic skeleton will do.
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pumpkin → do → neighborhoods
In Santa Monica, you begin to suspect somebody has hired a production designer.
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somebody → begin → designer
(Which, given where we live, is entirely possible.)
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we → give → ?
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Report → start → news
Los Angeles is uniquely equipped to take Halloween too far: We have actual prop builders, special-effects artists, costume designers, set decorators and makeup professionals living among us.
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We → equip → us
In Los Angeles, your neighbor might have spent six seasons making monsters for television.
uncertain
neighbor → spend → television
Now he’s retired, has a garage full of equipment and is apparently prepared to make Halloween everybody else’s problem
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Halloween → retire → equipment
And because this is Los Angeles, there are multiple ways to experience it, each requiring a completely different outfit and parking strategy.
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each → be → outfit
In Santa Monica, families head north of Montana to admire the elaborate displays and collect candy.
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families → head → candy
In Venice, people can trick-or-treat along the canals, where the decorations compete with waterfront real estate and the occasional boat.
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decorations → trick → estate
While in West Hollywood, Halloween is less about candy and more about becoming a person who requires three hours of theatrical makeup and cannot sit down in their costume.
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who → become → costume
WeHo’s annual Halloween Carnaval takes over a mile of Santa Monica Boulevard, filling the street with elaborate costumes, music and enough creative ambition to staff a small television network.
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Carnaval → take → network
The city expects thousands of people to show up dressed as everything from horror villains to pop culture references that will be completely incomprehensible by Thanksgiving.
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that → expect → Thanksgiving
That’s the thing about Halloween in Los Angeles: We don’t just celebrate it.
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We → ’ → it
We produce it.
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We → produce → it
This is a city where people will spend six hours creating a costume inspired by a film that grossed $14 million and then be genuinely offended when nobody recognizes it.
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nobody → spend → it
Somewhere, a makeup artist is attaching prosthetics in a bathroom while their roommate explains that the costume is actually a commentary on late-stage capitalism.
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costume → attach → capitalism
Meanwhile, I am considering whether wearing black and saying I’m a witch counts as an outfit.
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I → consider → outfit
(It does.
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It → do → ?
I have decided.)
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I → decide → ?
Of course, Los Angeles has always had a complicated relationship with horror: We manufacture nightmares for a living.
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We → have → living
Universal Studios can sell you a professionally produced evening of terror, complete with elaborate sets, performers and people whose entire job is to chase you with a chainsaw.
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job → sell → chainsaw
(Personally, I don’t need to pay somebody to frighten me: I live in Los Angeles — have you seen the cost of gas?
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you → need → gas
I can achieve the same level of terror at the pump without anybody chasing me with a machete.
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anybody → achieve → machete
Yet, for all the absurdity, there’s something genuinely wonderful about what happens to the city every October: People get out of their cars.
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People → ’ → cars
This alone should qualify as a Halloween miracle.
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This → qualify → miracle
Families walk residential streets they might never otherwise visit.
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they → walk → streets
Neighbors stand outside their houses.
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Neighbors → stand → houses
Strangers admire one another’s handiwork.
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Strangers → admire → handiwork
Children travel in packs, collecting candy and occasionally confronting a 12-foot skeleton.
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Children → travel → skeleton
For a few hours, Los Angeles becomes something we spend the rest of the year insisting it isn’t: A walking city.
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it → become → year
In a place where crossing town to see a friend requires advance planning, traffic calculations and a small act of emotional commitment, people willingly travel across neighborhoods to look at fake gravestones.
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people → cross → gravestones
We complain that Los Angeles lacks community, that everybody stays in their own little bubble, that nobody talks to their neighbors.
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nobody → complain → neighbors
Then October arrives, somebody plugs in a fog machine, and suddenly the entire block is outside.
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block → arrive → machine
Maybe that’s the real magic.
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that → ’ → ?
Some are ridiculous, and some probably cost more than my first car, but they’re also an enormous amount of work undertaken largely for the amusement of other people.
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they → cost → people
In a city where entertainment usually comes with a ticket price, a parking fee and an invitation to upgrade to VIP, somebody has turned their front lawn into a haunted attraction and invited the neighborhood to enjoy it for free.
So this Halloween: I’ll head north of Montana, admire the Hollywood-grade horrors, maybe wander through the Venice Canals and appreciate the fact that West Hollywood has managed to turn an entire boulevard into a costume party.
Then I’ll return to my own house, where I’ll place one small pumpkin on the porch.
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I → come → porch
Mary Kay Holmes is a Los Angeles writer covering culture, modern relationships and the increasingly absurd business of being a person.
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Holmes → cover → culture
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