'Nightcaps' is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk.
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you → catch → desk
It runs Monday-Friday on OutKick.com.
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It → run → OutKick.com
I have some bad news: I did not get to go to the Mini Golf Masters.
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I → get → Masters
Tragic, I know!
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I → know → ?
See, it was a three-day tournament, and I was supposed to attend the finals on Saturday.
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I → see → Saturday
I was even going to interview some of the competitors (athletes?) and write something on it for OutKick.
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I → go → OutKick
Well, I woke up on Saturday to a rainy morning on Myrtle Beach.
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I → wake → Beach
Still, I threw on my waterproof shoes and Frogg Togg and set out for Hawaiian Rumble.
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I → throw → Rumble
For those who don't know, that's the famous course that hosts the Mini Golf Masters each year.
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that → know → Masters
It has a 40-foot tall erupting volcano.
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It → have → volcano
That's when I found out — much to my dismay — that the tournament organizers decided to go ahead and have the finals on FRIDAY instead since the rain was about to move in.
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rain → find → FRIDAY
So I missed it.
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I → miss → it
I had to watch college football at a beach bar instead.
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I → have → bar
That said, we still had an absolute hoot of a time in Myrtle Beach.
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we → say → Beach
In the meantime, let's do some Nightcaps.
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's → let → Nightcaps
We had a Hailee Steinfeld sighting on Monday Night Football
Hailee is, of course, the wife of Bills quarterback Josh Allen.
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Hailee → have → Allen
And I'm going to warn you right now: we're going to talk about a few WAGs today.
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we → go → WAGs
That's because I'd rather not talk about the other three things completely dominating my timeline today:
- a horrific video of a tiger killing a man that people keep sending around for no apparent reason
- Shane Gillis calling women "whores" for wearing tight shorts to the gym
- Kelly Clarkson publicly bickering with a magic shop over a $15,000 animatronic bird
Which leaves us with Hailee Steinfeld absolutely losing it during the Bills' barn burner with the Rams on Monday Night Football.
Cameron Brink was there, too.
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Brink → talk → Football
I just love Cameron Brink and wanted to post a picture of her.
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I → love → her
As a lifelong Dolphins fan, I want nothing but bad things for the Buffalo Bills and the bozos who belly flop onto plastic tables out in their parking lot.
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who → want → lot
But also as a Dolphins fan, it is nice to watch some real football every now and then.
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it → watch → football
And that's what we got last night at SoFi Stadium.
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we → get → Stadium
Not to be confused with the football the Chargers play in that same stadium.
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Chargers → confuse → stadium
I can't believe we (the Dolphins) have to wage a basement battle for draft picks this season with (Chargers offensive coordinator) MIKE MCDANIEL, of all people.
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we → believe → people
He shipped off to the complete opposite coast and is still creating problems for Miami.
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He → ship → Miami
And they have the added bonus of asking their fans to pay big money out the wazoo to watch their crappy football in their massive monstrosity of a new stadium next year.
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they → have → stadium
Chad Ochocinco discovers Madison Beer & Falcons player's wife describes 'WAG rage'
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wife → discover → rage
On the Nightcap podcast earlier this week, Chad Ochocino/Johnson and Shannon Sharpe were discussing how much Justin Herbert stinks this year.
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Herbert → discuss → podcast
They wondered if maybe he was distracted by his hot, famous fiancé.
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he → wonder → fiancé
That's when Chad pulled up a photo of Madison Beer.
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Chad → pull → Beer
"Let me see what she looks like…
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she → let → what
" Johnson exclaimed.
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Johnson → exclaim → ?
"I don’t put too much cream in my coffee, but I get it."
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I → put → it
Listen, Justin Herbert is getting absolutely raked over the coals on the internet right now.
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Herbert → listen → internet
But when you're getting paid $262.5 million to start the season 0-5, that'll happen.
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that → pay → season
Still, that doesn't mean his girl wants to hear about it.
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girl → mean → it
On Sunday, she posted this confession to TikTok:
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she → post → TikTok
"Every game day I will get on Twitter and search my husband’s name and see what dumbass, idiot, worthless, stupid piece of s–t, unrespectable, fat, ugly, dumb losers are tweeting negatively about him," Allie said.
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Allie → get → him
"And I’m not allowed to respond to them.
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I → allow → them
I should be allowed to respond to them but I’m not," she continued.
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she → allow → them
…and 23 more, not listed.
The Aporia
