Louise De Sousa, mother of Anastasia De Sousa who was killed in the 2006 Dawson College shooting in Montreal, still reflects on what could have been for her daughter's life 20 years later. The shooting occurred on September 13, 2006, and Anastasia was 18 years old at the time. De Sousa wishes she could ask her daughter why she went to school that day, and says she would often wonder about her daughter's potential career, marriage, and children.
Written by the local model on 2026-09-10,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
Story summary
Louise De Sousa's 18-year-old daughter Anastasia died in a mass shooting at Montreal's Dawson College on September 13, 2006. Twenty years later, De Sousa still struggles with the what-ifs about her daughter's life, wondering where she would be in her career, if she would have gotten married and had children. She reflects on the ordinary days that trigger these thoughts, but especially during family milestones like births and weddings. De Sousa recalls the last morning she saw Anastasia alive, asking her if she wanted a ride to school before heading out to class. The question still lingers in her mind: "Why did you go to school that day?"
Written for “Dawson High School Shooting” on 2026-09-10,
grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.
‘Why did you go to school that day?’: Mother of Dawson shooting victim reflects 20 years later
Louise De Sousa still lives with the what-ifs 2 decades after daughter's death
asserted
Sousa → go → death
The grief of losing her daughter in a mass shooting at Montreal's Dawson College has weighed heavily on Louise De Sousa for nearly two decades.
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grief → lose → decades
As the 20th anniversary of the shooting approaches, De Sousa still finds herself wondering about the life her daughter Anastasia might have lived.
uncertain
daughter → approach → life
The what-ifs surface on ordinary days, but especially during family milestones, including births and weddings.
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ifs → surface → births
“You always think back on that day and the what-ifs.
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You → think → day
Where would she have been in her life career-wise, married, children?” De Sousa wonders.
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Sousa → wonder → life
If she could speak to her daughter again, there are many things De Sousa says she would tell her.
uncertain
she → speak → her
But she would ask one question:
"Why did you go to school that day, why didn't you skip?"
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you → ask → school
The last day
In her living room, surrounded by photographs of her loved ones, including some of Anastasia, De Sousa recalls the last morning she saw her daughter alive.
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daughter → live → morning
On Sept. 13, 2006, she went into her 18-year-old’s bubblegum-pink bedroom and asked if she wanted a ride to school, but Anastasia didn’t need one.
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Anastasia → go → one
Later that day, a man would enter the school and open fire, killing Anastasia and injuring 19 people.
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man → enter → people
De Sousa first learned about the shooting from coworkers while she was having lunch in her workplace cafeteria.
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she → learn → cafeteria
She and other family members tried calling Anastasia, but there was no answer.
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She → try → Anastasia
What's changed, and what hasn't since the Dawson shooting
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what → change → shooting
'Sadness, homage and hope' one year after Dawson shooting
De Sousa went to the hospital after learning that injured people had been taken there.
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people → go → hospital
Hours passed and it was at 9 p.m. that she received confirmation that Anastasia had died.
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Anastasia → pass → confirmation
“That night when we came home, I remember we were all crying.
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we → come → ?
You could hear everybody crying in their bed and I'm waiting for the door to open to say: “Mom, I'm here,” De Sousa said.
uncertain
Sousa → hear → bed
Living with grief
The days that followed her death were “a daze.”
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that → live → death
But thankfully, De Sousa had her family.
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Sousa → have → family
For her, moving through grief has meant going to therapy with her husband and supporting one another in the family.
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moving → move → family
Every year, De Sousa and her immediate family gather at the cemetery with Hayder Kadhim — a survivor of the Dawson shooting who was shot in the head — and his family.
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who → gather → head
For De Sousa, being surrounded by people who knew her daughter — and her granddaughters who never got to meet "Auntie Anastasia" — brings comfort.
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who → surround → comfort
They take a moment to stand together and talk to her; a ritual De Sousa carries into her home, too.
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Sousa → take → home
De Sousa says she talks to Anastasia every night.
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she → say → Anastasia
“There's not a day that goes by without her, without thinking of her or talking to her,” she said.
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she → be → her
“I can't fall asleep at night if I don't speak to her.”
And what she misses most is her daughter’s laugh.
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misses → fall → what
“She had this laughter that was so contagious.
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that → have → laughter
She would start laughing and, to tell a story, sometimes she never got through her story.
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she → start → story
But you were laughing now.”
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you → laugh → ?
Keeping Anastasia’s spirit alive
Although Anastasia has been gone for nearly two decades, De Sousa says she still feels her presence around the house.
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she → keep → house
In the smell of her perfume – even when no one has sprayed it.
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one → spray → it
In the bubblegum-pink strip of paint the family left in Anastasia’s room after repainting it.
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family → leave → it
In the songs she used to listen to.
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she → use → songs
“I hear songs from Sean Paul and all these old songs that she used to love back in the early 2000s and I see her singing it with her sister and her brother,” De Sousa said.
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Sousa → hear → sister
Sometimes, she says, she sees shadows or hears someone call out “Mom” when she is alone in the house.
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she → say → house
“I always tell myself: 'Oh OK, she's in here.
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she → tell → myself
She came.'
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She → come → ?
At times, De Sousa even places an extra plate on the table, absentmindedly, and leaves it there when she realizes what she’s done.
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she → place → what
Channeling grief into advocacy
After her daughter’s death, De Sousa became an advocate with PolySeSouvient — a prominent Canadian gun-control advocacy group founded in 1989 following the École Polytechnique massacre in Montreal.
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Sousa → channel → Montreal
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