A parent reflects on their overreaction during their child's final school exams years ago, leading to unnecessary stress for both themselves and their daughter. The author recounts hiring multiple service providers including a chiropractor, psychologist, and tutor, all fueled by anxiety about exam performance. They ultimately decide to seek help for their own anxiety through hypnotherapy rather than addressing the daughter’s issues directly, highlighting how excessive involvement can exacerbate rather than alleviate stress.
Written locally by qwen2.5:14b on 2026-10-12,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
It’s October and the jacaranda trees in my street are in bud.
asserted
trees → ’ → bud
This can only mean one thing – it’s 12 years since my firstborn child did her final school exams – and I temporarily lost my mind.
asserted
I → mean → mind
My daughter was studious and ambitious and wanted to do well.
asserted
daughter → want → ?
But somewhere along the way, she became anxious, which made me anxious, causing me to behave like an idiot, making everything much worse.
asserted
everything → become → idiot
This story has a happy ending, and contains one life-changing event, but if your child is doing the HSC, the VCE or the IB this year, please consider this as a tale of what not to do.
asserted
child → have → what
In those days, I was suffering under the delusion that this result mattered – that a random figure was somehow important.
asserted
figure → suffer → delusion
Now I can see that assigning an arbitrary figure to a teenager – they of the unformed frontal lobe – based on a series of three-hour exams on topics they will probably never look at again, is often meaningless.
asserted
they → see → topics
For someone who will have at least three or four careers in different sectors over the course of a lifetime, being defined by one number seems insane.
asserted
defined → have → number
And anyone who even thinks about their score and tells people about it – I’m looking at you, Senator Dave Sharma – clearly needs to get a life.
asserted
I → think → life
But I didn’t know that back in 2014.
asserted
I → know → 2014
Every time my daughter looked stressed, I snapped to attention and added another service provider.
asserted
I → look → provider
By mid-year, we had a chiropractor (sore back), a psychologist (did I mention anxiety?) and an English tutor (her best subject, therefore unnecessary).
asserted
I → have → anxiety
I cut down on my work to “help out” (ha!) and spent my days making “nourishing” meals which no-one had asked for or even wanted.
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one → cut → which
I drank a lot and ground my teeth like a meth addict.
asserted
I → drink → addict
Even the cat, normally indifferent to any form of human suffering, looked stressed.
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cat → look → suffering
Then one day, a friend told me about this woman in Macquarie St.
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friend → tell → woman
She’s a hypnotherapist, she told me, who is really good with anxiety.
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who → ’ → anxiety
I took the number and looked at it.
asserted
I → take → it
Could I let a hypnotherapist rummage around inside the head of my poor anxious child (currently gnawing on her cuticles)?
uncertain
hypnotherapist → let → cuticles
What could possibly go wrong?
uncertain
What → go → ?
Finally, I rang and made an appointment, not for my daughter but for myself.
asserted
I → ring → myself
Before I let this woman loose inside the psyche of my daughter, I thought I’d go and test her services on my own broken brain.
asserted
I → let → brain
After paying a deposit, I went to an office and rang the bell.
asserted
I → pay → bell
Disappointingly, the person who answered wasn’t wearing a black shawl or holding a ticking watch in front of my face.
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who → answer → face
In fact, she looked just like a regular person, with the concerned manner of a member of the caring professions.
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she → look → professions
When I told her I was a guinea pig for her services in advance of my child, I saw the words “Munchausen’s by proxy” cross her face, but she didn’t say it.
asserted
she → tell → it
What did I need to work on, she asked – did I need to give up smoking?
asserted
I → need → smoking
I didn’t smoke.
asserted
I → smoke → ?
Did I want to stop drinking – was she f---ing joking?
asserted
she → want → ?
Those glasses of ladypetrol (rosé) every night were the only thing keeping this car on the road.
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glasses → keep → road
Finally, in the manner of a cask-a-day boozer at an AA meeting, I confessed my greatest sin; I was a chocoholic.
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I → confess → sin
You know those people in Sunday Life’s Day on a Plate series who say they sometimes eat two squares of dark chocolate at 9pm?
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they → know → 9
Like a true addict, I ate everything – Cadbury Dairy Milk, Flakes, year-old Easter eggs from the floor of the car – even white chocolate, which is actually disgusting.
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which → eat → car
When it came to the brown drug, I was undiscriminating.
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it → come → drug
Basically, I was a walking advertisement for pre-diabetes.
asserted
I → walk → diabetes
She looked pleased – finally, something to work with!
asserted
She → look → ?
We had three sessions, but I can’t describe what happened.
asserted
what → have → sessions
My only memory is that this very kind lady dimmed the lights, sat me in a comfortable chair, told me to close my eyes and talked to me in a soothing tone.
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lady → dim → tone
I was so tired that I can only assume I simply fell asleep, clenching my back molars.
asserted
I → assume → molars
Afterwards, she emailed me some materials to read which would reinforce the “work we’d done together”.
asserted
we → email → work
…and 14 more, not listed.
The Aporia
