It was only while lying face down on the hall floor with my right foot pinned beneath me that I thought, maybe sprinting down the stairs to answer the phone wasn’t such a good idea.
asserted
sprinting → lie → phone
At 76 I’m in fairly good shape, thanks to 35 years at the same fitness class at my local YMCA.
asserted
I → ’m → YMCA
I have borderline osteoporosis, an ugly bunion, and miscellaneous aches and pains, but so far, have been extremely lucky.
asserted
I → have → osteoporosis
My vigorous father died of cancer at 65.
asserted
father → die → 65
My mother on the other hand lived to 89.
asserted
mother → live → 89
That’s what I’m going for, and older friends are showing the way:
asserted
friends → ’ → way
That’s how it’s done.
asserted
it → ’ → ?
If you’re lucky.
asserted
you → ’re → ?
Other friends, afflicted with cancer, ALS, COPD, stroke, and dementia, have not been lucky.
asserted
friends → afflict → cancer
All of us at this age feel ”the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate” circling our heads.
asserted
Finger → feel → heads
When and where will it land?
asserted
it → land → ?
We don’t know.
asserted
We → know → ?
So we do what we can to stave off the worst; for me, exercise, gardening, riding my bicycle, challenging my brain, and putting flax and chia seeds in my morning oatmeal.
asserted
we → do → oatmeal
My daughter has urged me to think about what will happen to me — a divorced single woman — as I age.
asserted
I → urge → me
Prepare now, she says, while you can, rather than after disaster strikes.
asserted
disaster → prepare → ?
I’ve lived in this old house for 40 years, renting out parts of it.
asserted
I → live → it
It’s lots of work to be a landlady, looking after tenants, house, garden, cat, and everything else, while also teaching, editing, and writing.
asserted
It → ’ → tenants
Sometimes it’s a major struggle to keep it all going.
asserted
it → ’ → it
But mostly, I’ve coped.
asserted
I → cop → ?
Last summer, I was wearing what I now call “death pants,” long, floaty, wide-legged pants that I didn’t realize intended me harm.
asserted
I → wear → harm
I turned to run for the streetcar, my foot got tangled in a pant leg, and I crashed down in the middle of the street.
asserted
I → turn → street
Someone helped me up; a kind Uber driver stopped to hand me a bottle of water.
asserted
driver → help → water
But I limped home, proud to be resilient, and healed pretty quickly.
asserted
I → limp → ?
With this recent fall downstairs, I thought recovery would be the same.
asserted
recovery → think → fall
After answering the phone — trembling, in shock — I lay down with a bag of frozen peas on my swollen, colourful right foot.
asserted
I → answer → foot
A friend brought lunch and urged me to call my health clinic.
asserted
me → bring → clinic
They squeezed me in, and, numbed by painkillers, I rode my bike there and back.
asserted
I → squeeze → bike
They urged a trip to Emergency, which I was determined to avoid.
asserted
I → urge → which
But two days after the fall, I hobbled into emerg at St. Mike’s hospital, where, five hours later, a doctor said my heel was fractured in three places.
asserted
heel → hobble → places
They fitted me with crutches and a hideous, angular grey boot that looked like a small Tesla Cybertruck, and I stumped home to a world of immobility.
asserted
I → fit → immobility
No Y, no gardening, not even getting groceries until I’m good at crutches.
asserted
I → get → crutches
Suddenly, I’m not an active independent senior.
asserted
I → ’m → ?
I’m more or less helpless.
asserted
I → ’m → ?
Plunging into this new reality makes me feel vulnerable and fragile and old.
asserted
me → plunge → reality
I sit here now with a miniature Tesla truck encasing my right foot, beyond grateful, as always, to Tommy Douglas for hammering through our universal health-care system, starved as it is.
asserted
it → sit → system
Grateful some of my jobs can be done on Zoom.
asserted
some → do → Zoom
Grateful to the generous souls who’ve come to my rescue, and to the wondrous healing power of the human body; the foot is already less puffy and painful.
asserted
foot → come → body
But it’s time to begin preparing for what’s to come, so the burden of care doesn’t fall on my busy family and friends.
asserted
burden → ’ → family
After using the grab bar in my shower for the first time, I understand the need to further retrofit my house for the gradual — or sudden — disintegration that awaits.
asserted
that → use → disintegration
The dangerous pants are on the giveaway pile, and I vow to always be careful on stairs.
asserted
I → vow → stairs
…and 2 more, not listed.
The Aporia
