As the Fiji Airway flight carrying dignitaries to Tuvalu sat on the airport runway at the heart of its tiny capital, Funafuti, an official struggled with a broken umbrella in the driving rain.
asserted
official → carry → rain
A pile of sodden brollies lay next to him as locals prepared to ferry leaders, ministers and assorted bigwigs out of the plane, across the tarmac, through the downpour, and into a traditional welcome ceremony.
The rather forlorn image seemed to fit neatly with the headlines back home in Australia, which had already declared the pre-COP summit a farce and a failure, particularly as the government had only managed to coax two non-Pacific leaders to fly to Tuvalu to see the climate emergency up close.
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government → lie → emergency
On the face of it, this might seem a little unfair.
uncertain
this → seem → it
After all, Tuvalu — which remains one of the most isolated and hard to reach countries in the world — is hardly famous for hosting major diplomatic gatherings.
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which → remain → gatherings
UN heavyweights and top multilateral officials who hold the keys to billions in climate financing.
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who → hold → financing
All listening in person to Tuvalu's story, and examining an extraordinary land reclamation project designed to hold back relentless rising seas.
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All → listen → seas
When the cameras caught Climate Minister Chris Bowen apparently struggling to resist nodding off, the Shadow Energy Minister Dan Tehan joked he was having a rest after a "big day … by the pool on the banana lounge sipping a few cocktails".
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he → catch → cocktails
But anyone who has had even a passing interaction with the famously diligent minister would laugh-choke into their piña colada at the implausible image of Mr Bowen gleefully dodging work by the pool.
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Bowen → have → pool
And while it is always good to scrutinise government spending, let's keep some perspective.
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's → scrutinise → perspective
It would buy about one seventh of a single F-35 fighter jet, or fund the NDIS for approximately three hours.
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It → buy → hours
So, does all this mean that pre-COP was a great success, and that the carping critics have got it wrong?
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it → mean → ?
Because even when you cast aside the exaggeration and cheap shots, there is still simply no way for the federal government to hide the yawning gap between what it promised, and what it has delivered.
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it → cast → what
'We wanted to bring the world to Tuvalu'
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We → want → Tuvalu
When the government struck its rather ungainly bargain with Türkiye, it spruiked the pre-COP meetings in Tuvalu and Fiji as a spur to global climate action, bringing the world's polluters to the Pacific to see the devastating impact of the catastrophe in person.
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it → strike → person
COP could not just be a "jamboree of the willing" Mr Bowen told the Guardian in January.
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Bowen → tell → January
Anthony Albanese has rapidly built up a fairly impressive network among fellow world leaders, and government officials were not shy about spruiking his "exceptional" personal relationships across Asia and Europe, suggesting that the prime minister might be able to land some big fish for Tuvalu.
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minister → build → Tuvalu
Sure, there was zero chance of bringing in an apex predator like Donald Trump or Xi Jinping, but hopes seemed high that some heavyweights — like Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, or then UK prime minister Keir Starmer — might be coaxed into making the trip.
uncertain
heavyweights → be → trip
But as the months dragged on, and leader after leader quietly let it be known they would not be willing to make a long journey to the Pacific, the mood shifted, accompanied by the groaning sound of goalposts being dragged across the ground.
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mood → drag → ground
Ministers were allowed to sub in for leaders.
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Ministers → allow → leaders
About a month ago Fiji revealed that a grand total of just five leaders from outside the Pacific had agreed to come to Tuvalu.
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total → reveal → Tuvalu
And then, earlier this week, that already modest number was whittled down further to just two: Mauritius and Timor Leste, which together contribute to perhaps 0.01 or 0.02 per cent of global emissions.
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which → whittle → emissions
Mr Bowen was even denying that the government had promised to bring "world leaders" to Tuvalu at all on Wednesday morning.
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government → deny → morning
"No, I said we wanted to bring the world to Tuvalu," he said.
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he → say → Tuvalu
"We said we wanted to focus and lift the world's attention on the issues of the Pacific, small island developing states in particular, and I think it ticked that box and achieved that."
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it → say → that
To call this cute is being generous.
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call → call → this
If the minister is seriously trying to suggest that he did not mean "world leaders" when he said he wanted to bring "the world" to a "special leaders event" in the Pacific, then he is pushing credulity beyond breaking point.
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he → try → point
It would also be a revelation to Australian officials who spent months (before the inevitable backdown) telling foreign officials that Australia and the Pacific were absolutely set on leaders only meeting in Tuvalu, and who were adamant ministerial level representation would not be contemplated.
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representation → spend → Tuvalu
Can promises turn into cash for Pacific nations?
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promises → turn → nations
It is possible to feel a twinge of sympathy here.
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It → feel → sympathy
One Australia government source, frustrated by the "relentless negativity" around pre-COP, complained a few weeks ago that they were caught in a bit of a bind.
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they → frustrate → bind
"If we push for leaders we get hammered for being unrealistic," they told the ABC.
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they → push → ABC
"And if we don't (get leaders) then we get hammered for f***ing it up."
Fair enough.
But surely it would be better for the government to simply admit that it tried its best and fell short rather than blindly insisting everything is just dandy.
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everything → get → best
It is also worth pointing out that it might take a bit of time before anyone can truly say whether this pre-COP was a proper flop, or merely a tad underwhelming.
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COP → point → time
LoadingThe Australian government has spruiked the gathering as a priceless opportunity to extract more cash for the Pacific Resilience Facility — a new climate fund which has been set up to give Pacific nations much more rapid (and easier) access to desperately needed climate finance.
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which → spruike → finance
So far, the new contributions unveiled in Nadi have been — to put it gently — modest.
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contributions → unveil → it
But Pacific officials have taken every opportunity in Fiji to push for more hefty contributions, and are clearly hoping to see those promises delivered as hard cash commitments at the main COP gathering next month in Türkiye.
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promises → take → Türkiye
None of this means that the pre-COP failures are a millstone which will be hung forever around this government's neck.
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which → mean → neck
If you are in the Pacific, you are — infuriatingly — already well accustomed to being at the mercy of the decisions taken by much larger emitters, and the major fossil fuel exporters.
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you → take → emitters
Pacific's battle at the heart of global negotiations
It is also worth noting that while the Australian government will have to wear some embarrassment, its diplomatic stocks in the Pacific have not seemed to suffer.
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stocks → note → Pacific
That really does matter at a time when Australia remains locked in a "permanent contest" in the region with China — which is both the world's largest single polluter and the engine room of the global clean energy revolution.
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which → matter → revolution
…and 5 more, not listed.
The Aporia
