LAST night, I dreamt of Hogwarts again.
asserted
I → dream → Hogwarts
Indeed, the time is ripe to revisit Harry Potter and Hogwarts — the boarding school where the series is based — for here in Pakistan, we are living in the most ‘confunding’ times possible.
asserted
we → revisit → times
Surely, the ‘Confundus Charm’ has been used on everyone.
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Charm → use → everyone
Let us begin at the beginning.
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us → let → beginning
Of late, the soothsayers among our midst, like Prof Trelawny, have rarely got a prophecy right.
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prophecy → get → Trelawny
For days, they told us ominously that decisions had been made.
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decisions → tell → us
First came the warning about the departure of Sohail Afridi.
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warning → come → Afridi
Within days, we were forewarned.
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we → forewarn → days
And then the tea leaves predicted an emergency in KP.
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leaves → predict → KP
Apparently, it was the only province with a dysfunctional government — the rest are all on their way to winning the Triwizard Cup.
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rest → win → Cup
But these leaf readers do not face consequences.
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readers → face → consequences
Indeed, they were hardly employed for their competence.
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they → employ → competence
For a number of them, the job has not been to report, analyse, or communicate.
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job → report → them
Instead, comfortably employed, they do what a ‘howler’ does in the Harry Potter series — pass messages to those who have fallen into disfavour, before ‘self-destructing’ once the job is done.
asserted
job → employ → disfavour
Dignity and credibility appear to have little to do with messaging — neither for these ‘journalists’ nor the politicos who tweet similar warnings.
asserted
who → appear → warnings
Be that as it may, the problem lies less with the messengers and more with the higher-ups guiding them, and who tell them to announce a disqualification one day and an emergency the next.
uncertain
who → lie → disqualification
And then opt for talks, which clearly were not going to succeed — because neither side wanted to negotiate.
asserted
side → opt → talks
They simply wanted to win.
asserted
They → want → ?
Pakistan’s current political landscape bears a striking resemblance to the world of Harry Potter.
asserted
landscape → bear → Potter
Consider that for weeks, the PTI was pushing for access to Imran Khan and treatment for his health issues but by the time the talks were held, the focus shifted to terrorism.
asserted
focus → consider → terrorism
The government had spent most of its energies on explaining how the party’s founding chairman was fine and was receiving the medical treatment he needed, and the PTI was just kicking up a fuss for nothing.
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PTI → spend → nothing
And then it all shifted.
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it → shift → ?
Terrorism entered the conversation as abruptly as the short-lived romance between Hermione and the character called Krum in the fourth Harry Potter book.
asserted
Terrorism → enter → book
But while the romance twist was undeveloped, the same cannot be said of the terrorism angle in our politics.
asserted
same → say → politics
Terrorism and its causes have been discussed for very long.
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Terrorism → discuss → long
But it seems the root of the matter remains unclear to those in power.
uncertain
root → seem → power
For longer than can be remembered, the state’s entire focus has been on pushing the idea that terrorism in Pakistan is due to the foreign hand.
asserted
terrorism → remember → hand
The groups carrying out attacks are called Fitna al-Hindustan and Fitna al-Khawarij.
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groups → carry → attacks
When attacks take place in Pakistan, it puts pressure on the relationship with Kabul as usually the attacker’s identity is linked to the lands across the border, also referred to as the ‘Durand Line’.
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identity → take → Line
Operations are carried out and these slow down the pace of attacks.
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these → carry → attacks
It was all to do with the external enemies.
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It → do → enemies
Suddenly, it turns out that terrorism is due to the uncooperative attitude of the PTI government in Peshawar.
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terrorism → turn → Peshawar
This hits as hard as the unexpected death of Sirius Black in the Potter series.
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This → hit → series
Who does one blame now for the attacks?
asserted
one → blame → attacks
It will get worse, I fear, as the talk of emergency and disqualification is back.
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talk → get → emergency
More howling shall now commence.
asserted
howling → howl → ?
None of this is to suggest that the other side, the PTI, is the hero here.
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side → suggest → this
It is about as self-pitying and as tolerable as Kreacher the elf.
asserted
It → pity → Kreacher
The party announced the ‘long march’ without any strategy or plan; it didn’t even consult its allies such as the TTAP.
asserted
it → announce → TTAP
Frankly speaking, all it wanted to do was escape the growing anger of its supporters.
asserted
it → speak → supporters
…and 16 more, not listed.