The article is a first-person account by Stephen Workman of his experience undergoing a colonoscopy after being diagnosed with a positive fecal immunochemical test (FIT) result. Workman, who has Parkinson's disease and was initially hesitant to undergo the procedure, received a phone call from FIT testing in Nova Scotia requesting that he schedule a colonoscopy. He describes the preparation process for the colonoscopy, including drinking a laxative called GoLYTELY, and the experience of undergoing the procedure at the hospital.
Written by the local model on 2026-09-06,
using this article's own text rather than the other coverage of the
same event (that is the story summary below).
I almost skipped my colon cancer screening, but my bottom and I survived the scope
asserted
bottom → skip → scope
The colonoscopy gave me peace of mind
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colonoscopy → give → mind
This First Person column is the experience of Stephen Workman, who lives in Halifax.
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who → live → Halifax
At nine a.m., my wife handed me my phone.
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wife → hand → phone
Somebody wanted to speak with me.
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Somebody → want → me
I’m with FIT testing, Nova Scotia.
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I → ’m → testing
FIT stands for fecal immunochemical test.
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FIT → stand → test
It screens for colon cancer.
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It → screen → cancer
The test consists of a clear plastic sheet, a tiny garden spade, a sealable container and a stout envelope.
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test → consist → sheet
I had been avoiding the test for weeks.
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I → avoid → weeks
Finally, I thought, well, it has always been negative.
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it → think → ?
I’ll just get it done.
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it → get → ?
And then some time after mailing in the test, I usually get a letter.
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I → mail → letter
Stephanie kindly explained that I could have cancer, a polyp, a tumour or nothing, and would I want a colonoscopy?
I pointed out that no one wants a colonoscopy, but I would take the appointment anyway.
uncertain
I → explain → appointment
She described the steps required to make my colon pristine.
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colon → describe → steps
As she told me about the pre-procedure diet (bland, colourless and fibre-free, mostly chicken and rice), starting four days before the main event, I started laughing.
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I → tell → event
But the thing was, I was thinking: This could really be trouble.
uncertain
This → think → ?
I have Parkinson’s disease.
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I → have → disease
I have lived with it for the last six years.
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I → live → years
If I have cancer, then maybe I get chemo.
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I → have → chemo
If I get chemo, then I get chemo brain.
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I → get → brain
I already have Parkinson’s brain.
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I → have → brain
Together, they have got to be a lot worse than either one alone.
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they → get → one
When she explained that I might need wet wipes to protect my sensitive bottom from the impending onslaught, I lost it again.
uncertain
I → explain → it
“You only want to do this once,” she said.
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she → want → this
“Oh, don’t I know,” I replied.
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I → know → ?
Did I want the scope at nine in the morning or one in the afternoon?
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I → want → afternoon
You drink a litre of a laxative called GoLYTELY four hours before the procedure.
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You → drink → procedure
I thought I would be up all night anyway.
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I → think → ?
“Nine,” I said.
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I → say → Nine
Stephanie was right: get the GoLYTELY icy cold, use a metal straw to the back of your tongue, and it is tolerable.
Barely.
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it → get → tongue
Since I had Parkinson’s disease and constipation, I needed a big old-fashioned double dose.
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I → have → dose
Let me tell you, this stuff works.
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stuff → let → you
For the first eight to 10 hours, nothing happened.
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nothing → happen → hours
Then it did.
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it → do → ?
And then it just kept happening.
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it → keep → ?
At the hospital, little blue footprints led to the colonoscopy suite.
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footprints → lead → suite
It occurred to me this would be an excellent time to get lost, but cancer anxiety had worn me down.
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anxiety → occur → me
“You don’t have cancer,” she said.
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she → have → cancer
I could tell who was waiting for a colonoscopy.
uncertain
who → tell → colonoscopy
…and 41 more, not listed.
