It was as though we were being rewarded, the way we stumbled across our favourite scene of the holiday yet — a rocky outcrop filled with snorkellers, and the sun going down behind Penzance in the background — almost the minute we resisted our usual urge to squeeze in an extra item from the bucket list and asked ourselves what we actually felt like doing.
asserted
we → reward → what
No one was making us race to that cocktail bar we’d saved on Google Maps.
asserted
we → make → Maps
No one would know we hadn’t ticked off the hidden-gem beach we’d seen on Instagram.
asserted
we → know → Instagram
If we wanted, we could stay watching swimmers dive off the rocks into the silky water until dinner — and cancel that, too, if we didn’t fancy it, because we hadn’t actually booked.
uncertain
we → want → it
This was supposed to be a holiday, remember?
asserted
This → suppose → ?
Wasn’t the whole point that we could do exactly what we liked?
uncertain
we → do → what
If this sounds embarrassingly obvious, it should have been when my fiancé and I sat in our living room one Sunday trying to work out what we wanted from our week-long summer trip.
asserted
we → sound → trip
My feed was a mosaic of TikTok itineraries and travelmaxxing content: friends following must-see hiking routes in the Dolomites; setting alarms for 5am sunrises in Santorini; kayaking along the Norwegian fjords.
asserted
feed → follow → fjords
It was tempting to follow suit, but after a summer of heatwaves we were burnt out.
asserted
we → follow → heatwaves
What we didn’t need was a jam-packed break where we optimised every hour and returned to work more exhausted than when we left.
asserted
we → need → work
We needed an anti-optimisation holiday, to borrow a phrase from the Steven Bartlett dictionary — why did that feel so radical?
asserted
that → need → dictionary
And what did that actually mean for two active people famously bad at doing nothing?
asserted
that → mean → nothing
I just want to get in the car and sit by the sea and read books and plan nothing
It was only when I outsourced the problem to ChatGPT like any other tech-dependent millennial that I articulated the embarrassingly simple answer: I just want to get in the car and sit by the sea and read books and plan nothing.
asserted
I → want → nothing
Three weeks later and we’re speeding past Stonehenge on the A303 to Cornwall, the car embarrassingly overpacked — because, for the first holiday in a long time, there are no baggage allowances to worry about.
asserted
car → speed → time
I find this terribly difficult at first.
asserted
this → find → ?
Isn’t it wasteful to go all the way to Cornwall and not see all of it?
asserted
it → go → it
But this is precisely why we chose somewhere we’d been before.
asserted
we → choose → ?
We knew we loved Cornwall and, crucially, had ticked off many of its highlights — surfing at Newquay and Polzeath, stays at the Carbis Bay Hotel, shows at the Minack Theatre — so there was no need to race around every viewpoint.
asserted
we → know → viewpoint
Instead we settle into Ennys, a small collection of cottages set in subtropical gardens run by former Londoners Karen and Nick down a country lane between St Ives and Penzance, where a self-catering cottage means our timings are entirely our own.
asserted
timings → settle → Ives
I spend the first afternoon reading beside the pool under a chic yellow umbrella imported from India.
asserted
I → spend → India
My fiancé is so entranced by a copy of Atonement he found on the mezzanine next to the bed that he hasn’t left the cottage.
asserted
he → find → cottage
I find him curled up beside the woodburner and we tuck into the homemade scones left out on the side.
Our first few days follow a similar pattern of lounging, dipping and eating whenever we feel like it.
asserted
we → find → it
On day one we walk from Newlyn to Mousehole before stumbling across a cute little seafood tapas spot, Barbican Bistro.
asserted
we → walk → spot
Day two is more risky: we bundle a couple of outfits into the car and set out without a plan.
asserted
we → bundle → plan
We might come back for dinner, we might try to hunt down a post-hike shower somewhere out and about and see where the night takes us.
uncertain
night → come → us
By day three we do something wilder still.
asserted
we → do → something
We’d enjoyed our little rockpool dip in Penzance so much the previous afternoon that we drive back and do exactly the same thing.
asserted
we → enjoy → thing
We wave at a swimmer we recognise from yesterday.
asserted
we → wave → yesterday
Repetition had never really existed in my travel lexicon before.
asserted
Repetition → exist → lexicon
Cornwall turns out to be perfect for this anti-optimisation experiment: it’s difficult to feel you’ve wasted a day when almost every country lane seems to end in a fishing village, a beach or somewhere serving exceptionally good seafood.
asserted
lane → turn → seafood
Read More
We still walk and swim and eat extremely well — we just don’t treat those things like appointments
None of which is to say we wasted our days away doing nothing.
asserted
we → read → nothing
This, I realise, is where I’d misunderstood the assignment.
asserted
I → realise → assignment
We still walk and swim and eat extremely well — we just don’t treat those things like appointments.
asserted
we → walk → appointments
In Newlyn, we wander into Mackerel Sky and sit down to crab nachos and squid-ink G&Ts within seconds.
asserted
we → wander → seconds
The next day, we stop at Porthleven for a leg stretch and like it so much we stay until dark.
asserted
we → stop → dark
When we fancy St Ives, we leave the car at St Erth and take the tiny train along the coast, with no greater plan than to wander around the Tate, swim and see what happens.
asserted
what → fancy → Tate
Kiln, a wood-fired sauna, has recently opened above Porthmeor Beach in St Ives; Great British Menu champ Jude Kereama just launched his new BBQ seafood pop-up Kota Kuki in Porthleven; and two Michelin-star chef Tom Sellers opened MOR at Carbis Bay Hotel last month featuring “one breath” scallops caught by their resident freediver.
asserted
Sellers → fire → freediver
We plan to roll into dinner straight from the train but end up ditching the Barbara Hepworth Museum in favour of reading on the beach.
asserted
We → plan → beach
It’s what we feel like doing, after all.
asserted
we → ’ → what
Then we leave Cornwall and drive east towards Dorset with our paddleboards and camping kit, stopping when we fancy it (Durdle Door and Lulworth Cove, naturally) before meeting friends for a last-minute camping trip overlooking Brownsea Island.
asserted
we → leave → Island
…and 13 more, not listed.
The Aporia
