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Love them, hate them or barely know them, it's a colleague's birthday, wedding or leaving do and there's a collection to mark the occasion.
asserted
it → love → occasion
So how much should you give?
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you → give → much
And if you're the person organising the collection, how do you chase without feeling like a loan shark or exposing unspoken team dynamics?
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you → organise → dynamics
'It depends if I like you'
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I → depend → you
The politics of the office whip-round are so sensitive that everyone the BBC spoke to asked us not to use their real name.
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BBC → speak → name
For those on a tight budget, the rule is simple: only give to colleagues you've worked with directly.
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you → give → colleagues
Lucy, a senior therapist in healthcare, says: "If we haven't worked together, my purse is staying shut."
There's a blunter unspoken truth beneath the surface.
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purse → say → surface
"It also depends on if I like you," she admits.
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she → depend → you
"One colleague's whole demeanor annoyed me, so when she moved roles, I wanted to celebrate with my own drink - not give her money."
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I → annoy → money
Former music journalist Layla is similar, only contributing if she "really likes" the person.
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she → contribute → person
Yet she often avoids office collections on principle, not personality, disliking how impersonal they can feel.
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they → avoid → principle
"I'd rather buy my own gift for someone I care about.
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I → buy → someone
I hate having to be forced to contribute to a joint collection out of some rubbish sense of obligation," she says.
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she → hate → obligation
The decision to give also comes with a question of how much.
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decision → give → much
Barker has a decade's worth of experience organising and contributing to various collections at a large multi-national company, where he works in research and production.
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he → have → research
He says it's normally the same half a dozen people that contribute generously, irrespective of the person or the occasion.
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that → say → person
The average a worker gave to a collection was £11.65 in the first three months of the year, according to analysis of over 5,000 contributions by website GiftRound.
uncertain
worker → give → GiftRound
Junior workers can often face the biggest dilemma.
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workers → face → dilemma
Felicity, now mid-career, remembers one horror story from her first job as a teenager.
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Felicity → remember → teenager
Working at a car garage aged 17, she was suddenly thrust an envelope to give money for a mechanic who was retiring.
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who → work → mechanic
The team was small and tight-knit, so everyone was expected to contribute.
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everyone → knit → ?
"Not only did I not really know anyone at that stage, but I also had no money to give - I was still living at home and being paid hardly anything.
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I → know → anything
"As it was after lunch, I'd used my notes.
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I → use → notes
In a panic I threw in all the spare change I had left, basically a load of coppers."
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I → throw → coppers
She says: "I thought I'd got away with it until the person collecting shouted 'who on earth put in all this change'.
asserted
who → say → change
Everyone laughed and I couldn't ever admit it was me."
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it → laugh → ?
Today, Felicity usually gives between £5 and £10 but goes up to £20 for a close work friend or long-time colleague.
asserted
Felicity → give → friend
Barker says it tends to be rank-and-file workers who contribute most often.
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who → say → ?
"Surprisingly – to me – they're not some of the best paid people in the department," he explains.
asserted
he → pay → department
"Often those in senior positions don't give".
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those → give → positions
Those on big wages not paying their way may seem stingy.
uncertain
paying → pay → way
But the reality from the top can look very different, as former senior civil service veteran Darren explains.
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Darren → look → top
In a leadership position managing over 200 people, many of them contractors, office collections were common as staff churn was frequent.
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churn → manage → them
Darren found the implicit expectation to give as director became overwhelming.
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expectation → find → director
"Eventually I found I just couldn't keep up and would be spending hundreds, often on people I didn't know at all," he says.
asserted
he → find → people
As a middle ground, he decided to sign cards and only give money if he'd had direct contact.
asserted
he → decide → contact
This stopped him feeling disingenuous and giving resentfully.
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him → stop → ?
But the card-not-cash compromise has become harder as collections move online, with amounts often shown alongside the names of individuals by default.
Of course, these days, alongside emails, there's always the ever-present work WhatsApp group.
Healthcare worker Jeffrey says he's still reeling from seeing staff donations toward the family of a deceased patient being openly listed in the agency chat, individual donation amounts included.
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amounts → become → chat
Whether to chase colleagues
Should you chase contributions - and note who's given and who has not?
Lucy believes so.
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Lucy → chase → contributions
"I send one email to those who haven't paid, making clear that those who have contributed are not included in the email.
asserted
included → send → email
…and 8 more, not listed.
The Aporia
