Three episodes in, and already HBO’s Lanterns needs its creative batteries recharged.
asserted
batteries → need → ?
That’s not a great sign.
asserted
That → ’ → ?
With its clichéd alien visitor, preposterous origin story, and domineering mother who’s somehow more cartoonish a character than the pink guy named Sinestro, this flashback-heavy episode feels like a major misstep.
asserted
episode → ’ → misstep
For one thing, it needlessly complicates the Hal Jordan/John Stewart relationship.
asserted
it → complicate → relationship
It turns out that the men have been intertwined for decades, in a way that strains credulity even on a show about space cops with magic rings.
asserted
that → turn → rings
We learn that John’s father, John Sr. (J. Alphonse Nicholson), was passed over for selection as Green Lantern because he told the inquiring ring “yes” when it asked if he was afraid.
asserted
he → learn → ring
This sends him into an obsessive tailspin of alcohol-fueled resentment.
asserted
This → send → resentment
A visiting member of the Guardians of the Universe, played in human form by Laura Linney, shows up some time later.
asserted
member → visit → Linney
She offers John’s mother Bernadette (Jasmine Cephas Jones) a diamond the size of a mandarin orange to make up for their pain and suffering.
asserted
She → offer → pain
(In a thread of dialogue reminiscent of one of comics’ more infamous attempts at addressing racism via superheroes, Bernadette laments that even from outer space, Black people aren’t truly seen.)
asserted
people → address → space
But the Guardian also lets on that John Sr.’s positive genetic characteristics plus Bernadette’s own formidable nature might make their youngest, John Jr., an ideal candidate one day…provided he has no fear.
uncertain
he → let → fear
This, Bernadette believes, will heal the family and give John Jr. a future.
asserted
Bernadette → believe → future
What follows is a supervillain origin story in superhero origin story form.
asserted
follows → follow → form
Bernadette takes point on drilling young John into a fearless man-machine, giving him a gun at age 5 and encouraging him and his dad to play William Tell.
asserted
Bernadette → take → Tell
(Their neighborhood seems extremely chill about repeatedly shooting at your child’s head in broad daylight, leaving your garage riddled with bullet holes.)
asserted
neighborhood → seem → holes
Bernadette lies to John that she’s able to contact the Guardians, and that birds report back to them.
asserted
birds → lie → them
This last bit, at least, gives John his lifelong love of our feathered friends.
asserted
bit → give → friends
The final test is for John to shoot an apple off his parent’s head — not John Sr., with whom he chickens out, but his mother, whom he chooses instead.
asserted
he → shoot → whom
This time it’s her turn to show fear, and you kinda feel like it’s long overdue by this point, since fear gives her character a much-needed second dimension.
asserted
fear → ’ → dimension
After that it’s off to the Marines, where he becomes a sniper entrusted with black ops assassinations.
asserted
he → ’ → assassinations
Just when he’s about to complete a mission that has required him to stay parked in one place in the woods for nine months, Green Lantern Hal Jordan shows up, capturing the guy himself and scorching acres of Russian forest in the process.
asserted
Jordan → ’ → process
(Apparently he heard about the mission while getting drunk with a general at a topless bar.)
asserted
he → hear → bar
John winds up accepting a dishonorable discharge under the pretense that the target’s capture was John himself acting against orders, so that the superhero’s involvement in American foreign policy will remain a secret.
asserted
involvement → wind → policy
One life-altering event caused by Hal Jordan I can accept.
asserted
I → alter → Jordan
Two is pushing your luck a little.
asserted
Two → push → luck
Anyway, showing a third dimension at last, John’s mother enrolls him in art school for reasons that are never made at all clear.
asserted
that → show → reasons
If his artistic talent was a waste of time for him to pursue when he was a kid, what’s changed now that he’s lost his job as a button man for United States government?
asserted
he → pursue → government
At any rate, it’s at school that he’s finally approached by the Guardians and brought, via black hole and a plummet into a pile of mattresses in the middle of a dead mall, to his job interview with Laura Linney’s character.
asserted
he → ’ → character
(Turning the cosmic into the quotidian in this way feels very 2010s, and not in a good way.)
asserted
Turning → turn → way
Now yet another complication is added to the John/Hal dynamic.
asserted
complication → add → dynamic
It’s not enough that John is living the dream his father lost out on in Hal’s favor.
asserted
father → ’ → favor
It’s not enough that John lost his job as a Marine sniper because of Hal’s impetuousness.
asserted
John → ’ → impetuousness
It’s not enough that Hal is an asshole boss who treats John like dirt because he’s paranoid about being replaced.
asserted
he → ’ → dirt
It’s that Hal is right to be paranoid, because the Guardians have had enough of his bullshit and really do want John to replace him, not serve as backup.
asserted
John → ’ → backup
So when Hal starts off their relationship by spoiling the surprise for John’s parents and telling John he’ll get the ring over his dead body…I mean, can we even blame him?
asserted
we → start → him
He’s got a point!
asserted
He → get → point
We now know that Sinestro, the pink guy with the mustache in the cosmic prison, was Hal’s mentor, that Hal loved him, and that he went rogue and killed one of the twelve Guardians who rule the universe.
asserted
who → know → universe
This is why a Guardian has come to Earth to oversee the replacing of Hal Jordan rather than simply let a ring decide, as is custom.
asserted
ring → come → Jordan
(She doesn’t mention anything about Manhunters, it should be noted.)
asserted
it → mention → Manhunters
And even though it retroactively justifies a lot of Hal’s behavior, I really like the idea that goody two-shoes John Stewart — a vegetarian who always obeys both his parents and his Uncle Sam — is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, out to take the job of the man training him.
asserted
who → justify → him
…and 15 more, not listed.
The Aporia
