Far more difficult to cope with were the preceding two weeks, after the radiologist suggested the dark patch she could see on the ultrasound was ‘worrying’ and needed a biopsy.
uncertain
she → cope → biopsy
My heart did a cold plunge to the floor.
asserted
heart → do → floor
What kind of ‘worrying’, I wondered, as I scrutinised her poker face for clues.
asserted
I → wonder → clues
As any of the one in seven women who receive a breast cancer diagnosis will testify, ‘worrying’ (see also ‘concerning’ or ‘suspicious’) covers a wide spectrum of outcomes.
asserted
worrying → receive → outcomes
During the fortnight between my biopsy and the in-person results, that single word haunted my nights and obsessed my days.
asserted
word → haunt → days
My gut instinct told me this was cancer, and I fell down a dark Google rabbit-hole of grades and stages and how it really wouldn’t suit me to lose my big, curly hair to chemotherapy.
asserted
it → tell → chemotherapy
At 1am, I lay awake stressing about rare genetic mutations.
asserted
I → lie → mutations
Even Chat GPT started to tell me to get off Chat GPT and enjoy the summer.
asserted
GPT → start → summer
In the end, my gut was right: the surgeon told me I did, indeed, have an invasive tumour in my left breast.
asserted
I → tell → breast
But because it had been caught early on a routine mammogram screening – I hadn’t once felt a lump – it was small.
asserted
it → catch → lump
The cancer was low-grade, hormone-positive and had not spread to my lymph nodes.
asserted
cancer → spread → nodes
My fear turned to relief and a sense of resolve: I would get over it.
asserted
I → turn → it
As I write, I am recovering from a lumpectomy and waiting to see an oncologist to arrange a short course of radiotherapy.
asserted
I → write → radiotherapy
After being told a dark patch on her ultrasound looked 'worrying', Miranda Levy started worrying about her health and the possibility of cancer
But once I knew I was out of the woods, I began to ask a question: why did I, at 58, get breast cancer in the first place?
asserted
I → tell → place
Was it something I had done?
asserted
I → do → ?
I was fit and healthy at the time of diagnosis, but I weighed too much.
asserted
I → weigh → much
In fact, because the pounds were stubbornly refusing to shift, a few months before, I’d started to use the weight-loss drug, Mounjaro.
asserted
I → refuse → drug
(At my first surgical appointment, I told the consultant I was on the jab.
asserted
I → tell → jab
‘Good!’ he said.
asserted
he → say → ?
‘We encourage you to keep using it.’)
asserted
We → encourage → it
And, yes, being overweight undoubtedly raises your risk of breast cancer, especially in post-menopausal women.
asserted
being → raise → women
‘When it comes to breast cancer, there are two types of risk – fixed and modifiable,’ says Mr Naren Basu, a consultant breast and oncoplastic surgeon, and associate professor at the University of Birmingham.
asserted
Basu → come → Birmingham
‘Fixed risks include ageing – 80 per cent of breast cancers are in women over 50.
asserted
cent → fix → 50
Fat cells produce a state of chronic low-grade inflammation, resulting in cellular processes that can promote tumour growth and spread.
asserted
that → produce → growth
Excess fat causes a state of insulin resistance and can lead to hormonal changes including excess oestrogen production.
asserted
fat → cause → production
’
Weight gain during perimenopause, carried over to the menopause, is particularly detrimental, he adds.
asserted
he → carry → menopause
Miranda began to wonder if her weight had contributed to her cancer diagnosis (seen in 2020)
asserted
weight → begin → 2020
I began to wonder just how damaging my weight had been.
asserted
weight → begin → ?
If I’d started Mounjaro earlier, would I have even got cancer in the first place?
asserted
I → start → place
My size had only become a problem in the past ten years.
asserted
size → become → years
Until my mid-40s, I’d never weighed more than 7st 11lb and was a slim and sporty size 8 to 10.
asserted
I → weigh → 7st
I spent the 1990s and 2000s working as a women’s magazine journalist, tottering about in designer clothes and Chloe heels.
asserted
I → spend → clothes
But in 2010, when I was 42 and the mother of two primary school-age children, my life imploded.
asserted
life → implode → children
My husband told me he wanted to end our marriage, and I was plunged into a whirl of insomnia, anxiety and depression which eventually became so severe I lost my job and had to go back to live with my father in Essex.
asserted
I → tell → Essex
In their attempts to treat me, doctors put me on a dizzying array of psychiatric drugs which included various antidepressants such as venlafaxine and mirtazapine, tranquillisers, and even – at one point – an antipsychotic called olanzapine, which they said would ‘augment’ the antidepressants.
asserted
they → treat → antidepressants
It didn’t.
asserted
It → do → ?
None of these pills made me feel better: in fact, they made me feel worse, muddle-headed and agitated.
asserted
me → make → fact
I also started to put on an enormous amount of weight.
asserted
I → start → weight
The pills made me crave carbohydrates: I remember once ripping open a packet of Scottish shortbread biscuits, devouring four, going halfway up the stairs, then saying: oh, what the hell, and going back down again to finish the pack.
asserted
I → make → pack
This is one of the reasons why this week’s news that a record one in seven people in England are on antidepressants should alarm us all.
asserted
people → alarm → us
…and 70 more, not listed.
The Aporia
