At 35 years old, you might have a mortgage, two kids, a six-figure salary and an MBA degree hanging on the wall.
uncertain
you → have → wall
And you still might want to call your parents before making a major financial decision.
uncertain
you → want → decision
Somewhere along the way, we decided that becoming an adult meant we were supposed to have all the answers about money.
asserted
we → decide → money
By 35, you're supposed to understand investing, mortgages, taxes, insurance, retirement, college savings and how much house you can afford.
asserted
you → suppose → house
You can have an MBA and still make terrible money decisions.
asserted
You → have → decisions
I see people do this every day.
asserted
people → see → this
I've met incredibly successful executives who couldn't explain their 401(k).
asserted
who → meet → 401(k
Entrepreneurs who built multimillion-dollar businesses but carried ridiculous credit card debt.
asserted
who → build → debt
Highly educated professionals who bought way too much house because the bank told them they could "afford" it.
uncertain
they → educate → it
Education gives you knowledge.
asserted
Education → give → knowledge
Experience gives you scar tissue.
asserted
Experience → give → tissue
And your parents may have 30 or 40 years of financial scar tissue you haven't earned yet.
uncertain
you → have → tissue
They've lived through recessions.
asserted
They → live → recessions
Maybe even a financial decision or two they wish they could take back.
uncertain
they → wish → ?
You can't download that from ChatGPT or learn all of it in business school.
asserted
You → download → school
So why wouldn't you ask?
asserted
you → ask → ?
The mistake is confusing asking your parents for financial advice with asking your parents for financial support.
asserted
mistake → confuse → support
The Wall Street Journal has explored how the Bank of Mom and Dad increasingly stays open well into adulthood, with parents helping grown children with everything from housing to everyday expenses.
asserted
parents → explore → expenses
That's where the line can get blurry.
asserted
line → get → ?
If you're 35 and asking Dad whether putting 20% down on a house makes sense, that's advice.
asserted
that → ask → sense
If you're asking Dad to provide the 20% because you spent your down payment on a $90,000 Range Rover, that's a different problem.
asserted
that → ask → Rover
Ask for wisdom before you ask for a wire transfer.
asserted
you → ask → transfer
There's another reason your parents may be worth calling.
uncertain
parents → be → ?
They probably know you better emotionally than your financial advisor does.
asserted
advisor → know → you
Your father may know you tend to chase the next shiny investment.
uncertain
you → know → investment
Your mother may remember that every time you've stretched your budget, you've regretted it.
uncertain
you → remember → it
Education gives you knowledge.
asserted
Education → give → knowledge
Experience gives you scar tissue.
asserted
Experience → give → tissue
And your parents may have 30 or 40 years of financial scar tissue you haven't earned yet.
uncertain
you → have → tissue
Sometimes the best financial advice isn't, "Can I afford this?"
asserted
I → afford → this
It's your mother saying, "Ted (or she would probably say Theodore Michael), you know yourself.
asserted
you → say → yourself
You're going to hate that payment six months from now."
asserted
You → go → payment
Of course, your parents shouldn't automatically get the final vote.
asserted
parents → get → vote
The financial world has changed.
asserted
world → change → ?
Their 12% mortgage from 1985 existed alongside dramatically different home prices.
asserted
mortgage → exist → prices
Pensions have largely given way to 401(k)s.
asserted
Pensions → give → 401(k)s
That's why, at 35, I would ask Mom and Dad three questions before making a major money decision:
- What am I not thinking about?
- Have you ever made a similar decision and regretted it?
- If you were my age again, what would you do differently?
asserted
you → ask → what
There's another reason your parents may be worth calling.
uncertain
parents → be → ?
They probably know you better emotionally than your financial advisor does.
asserted
advisor → know → you
Because financial independence shouldn't mean pretending you know everything.
asserted
you → mean → everything
…and 2 more, not listed.
The Aporia
