Posing for photographers as he arrived at a comedy awards run by now defunct ‘lads’ mag’ Loaded, the comedian very publicly peeked down the white low-cut top of nurse-turned-glamour model Abi Titmuss.
asserted
comedian → pose → nurse
The cameras snapped away as he entered the event at London’s then-hip celebrity haunt Sketch, where he’d be named funniest man of 2006.
asserted
he → snap → 2006
Later, he would tell Abi, the former girlfriend of disgraced This Morning presenter John Leslie: ‘You like sex too.
asserted
You → tell → sex
Brand was regularly seen prowling after women on London’s party circuit in the Noughties, dressed in trademark black, his shirt undone to the navel, with spray-on black jeans and his signature cowboy boots.
asserted
shirt → see → jeans
He ‘leched at girls for fun’, one of his former associates tells me – but I already knew that.
asserted
I → leche → that
I was there myself in the Noughties when Brand was the most sought-after guest if you were throwing a party in media-land.
asserted
you → seek → land
I was a showbusiness gossip columnist for a tabloid newspaper, which often meant staying out until the early hours, like Brand and his friends, though my mission was not to find a sexual conquest but a scoop.
asserted
mission → mean → conquest
At that time, Brand was often referred to in headlines, with a kind of benign joshing – now totally misplaced – as ‘Randy Russ’ or a ‘Lanky Lothario’.
asserted
Brand → refer → Russ
Russell Brand (pictured in 2009) was regularly seen leaving London clubs with women in the Noughties
The comedian very publicly peeked down the white low-cut top of nurse-turned-glamour model Abi Titmuss (pictured together in 2006)
Take the night I saw him at the NME music awards, which he hosted at London’s Hammersmith Palais also back in 2006.
asserted
he → picture → 2006
That was when Sir Bob Geldof called Brand a ‘c***’ on stage amid rumours he’d been romancing his daughter Peaches, who had not yet turned 17.
asserted
who → call → daughter
After the show, and despite Sir Bob’s outburst, I watched aghast as Brand still flirted outrageously with Peaches.
asserted
Brand → watch → Peaches
Her age didn’t seem to bother him one jot.
asserted
age → seem → him
At another equally alcohol- fuelled bash, the annual National Comedy Awards, I and fellow journalists were gripped as Brand trailed Charlotte Church around the old ITV HQ on London’s South Bank.
asserted
Brand → fuel → Bank
Indeed, wherever Brand was, a woman would not be far away – whether she liked it or not.
asserted
she → like → it
In the early hours of one morning, I found myself traipsing to the Maddox Club in Mayfair after a Teenage Cancer Trust concert.
asserted
myself → find → concert
Brand was there too, draped over a Vivienne Westwood model named Jordan.
asserted
Brand → drape → model
David Walliams reacts to Jonathan Ross's recently re-surfaced ‘joke’ he made at the 2004 British Comedy Awards about the comedian ‘taking home’ 15-year-olds
asserted
comedian → react → olds
Ross referred to Brand and Great British Bake Off host Noel Fielding as ‘two of the best-known c***smen in the business’
asserted
Ross → refer → business
The romance didn’t last long.
asserted
romance → last → ?
Shortly after Brand ditched her, I was told that he was ‘foul’ to her, with his associate adding: ‘Girls’ feelings don’t matter to Russell.’
asserted
feelings → ditch → Russell
For those who employed him – Channel 4, where he hosted Big Brother’s Big Mouth, or Radio 2 where he presented a Saturday evening programme in the mid-2000s – this behaviour should have attracted censure.
asserted
behaviour → employ → censure
Seemingly it didn’t.
asserted
it → do → ?
Indeed it appeared only to make him even more employable.
asserted
him → appear → ?
Money was washing around, meaning free drinks – beer, wine, spirits – flowed at parties and big budgets to pay celebrities to make an appearance.
asserted
drinks → wash → appearance
Women were enticed by the famous men on guest lists.
asserted
Women → entice → lists
The people in Brand’s orbit, of course, included TV host Jonathan Ross and comedian Noel Fielding.
asserted
people → include → Ross
One journalist friend of mine was once summoned to a party in a dingy basement flat in Camden by Great British Bake Off host Fielding, who was then star of comedy act The Mighty Boosh.
asserted
who → summon → Boosh
I went with her.
asserted
I → go → her
Brand was there too, all over a woman in the corner of a room, while the rest of the party sat in a circle taking it in turns to snort coke.
asserted
rest → sit → coke
Fielding, who admitted some months after this event to taking pills, magic mushrooms, cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine, was not very kind to my lovely friend that night.
asserted
who → admit → friend
He, too, was forever strutting around Camden’s then-trendy haunts, such as The Hawley Arms.
asserted
He → strut → Arms
He also formed a bizarre friendship with Pixie Geldof, who was at school at the time.
asserted
who → form → time
One day I spotted them on a shopping trip at Urban Outfitters on Kensington High Street.
asserted
I → spot → Street
Fielding had a cult following of music and celebrity publicists who would trail behind him as he attended gigs at the Kentish Town Forum and drank in the nearby Pineapple pub.
asserted
he → have → pub
Every time I saw him, I noted his air of arrogance.
asserted
I → see → arrogance
Ross was not a partygoer in the same way but Brand and Fielding looked up to him as if he were the doyen of the comedy circuit.
asserted
he → look → circuit
And the recently re-surfaced ‘joke’ he made at the 2004 British Comedy Awards about disgraced David Walliams ‘taking home’ 15-year-olds, sums up the prevailing attitude to women.
asserted
Walliams → re → women
The TV host, who was in Brand's orbit, issued a statement on Tuesday in an attempt to distance himself
On Tuesday, Ross issued a statement in an attempt to distance himself.
asserted
Ross → issue → himself
‘This joke was submitted to me by the Comedy Awards scriptwriting team and I believed that the punchline was a reference to the fact he had publicly dated younger women, exaggerated for comic effect,’ he said.
asserted
he → submit → effect
Women comics have never felt comfortable on the circuit – but the hyper-sexuality of Brand and the crude mockery of Little Britain humiliated female audiences too.
asserted
sexuality → feel → audiences
…and 45 more, not listed.
The Aporia
