The film was not just a critical and box-office flop, it was a notorious critical and box-office flop, though I didn’t know this when I first watched it as a tween and I certainly would never have guessed it.
asserted
I → know → it
It cast a spell on me.
asserted
It → cast → me
Made in 1982 and starring a young Michelle Pfeiffer, it’s a film I watched about a thousand times throughout the ’90s.
asserted
I → make → 90s
Not only do I have favourite Grease 2 songs (Cool Rider and Who’s that Guy?) and favourite stunts (such as when the mild-mannered Michael Carrington jumps the police car on his motorcycle outside the Bowl-A-Rama), but I also have favourite hairstyles (Stephanie’s hibiscus-braid in the finale) and favourite extras (the squeaky-clean twins).
asserted
I → have → finale
I’ve always liked Grease 2 better than the 1978 original.
asserted
I → like → original
(“Are you free tonight?” “I’m free every night.
asserted
I → ’m → ?
It’s in the constitution.”)
asserted
It → ’ → constitution
Like the first Grease movie, the sequel delivers a brutal message about social survival and natural selection: if your crush doesn’t like you, then change everything about your image and personality until they do.
asserted
they → deliver → image
And like the original, the film exploits moral panic around teenage sexuality, though Grease 2 cranks it up a few notches.
asserted
Grease → exploit → it
There are scenes that are not for the squeamish.
asserted
that → be → squeamish
The raunchy classroom number Reproduction – where a biology lesson turns to chaos – is the obvious example.
asserted
lesson → turn → chaos
But I’d say the first 15 seconds of the musical number Score Tonight, set in a bowling alley, are among the most obscene in the history of cinema, purely on the strength of dance moves, chest hair and eyebrow activity.
asserted
I → say → moves
(Adrian Zmed, as lead T-Bird Johnny Nogerelli, was perhaps anxious that the song’s double-entendre might escape some young viewers.
uncertain
entendre → escape → viewers
He took matters into his own pelvis, delivering a lusty performance that is frankly terrifying.)
asserted
that → take → performance
Perhaps another reason I loved it was because I didn’t have to share it with too many other people.
asserted
I → love → people
Hardly anybody had seen the sequel, so they didn’t know what they were missing.
asserted
they → see → what
Growing older, I was aware that the film had attained cult status (how could it not?), but I chose not to engage with the fandom.
uncertain
I → grow → fandom
I watched my favourite Grease 2 songs on YouTube in mesmerised solitude.
asserted
I → watch → solitude
I never read the comments.
asserted
I → read → comments
I didn’t want my sacred memories polluted.
asserted
memories → want → ?
Entertainment Weekly produced a definitive Grease 2 oral history in 2023.
asserted
Weekly → produce → 2023
But instead of embracing this enthusiasm, I’m troubled by it.
asserted
I → embrace → it
I want to protect this precious artefact of my childhood.
asserted
I → want → childhood
I want to save the film from dissection and discourse.
asserted
I → want → dissection
I know the Do It For Our Country scene is incredibly messed up.
asserted
scene → know → Country
I know it’s a teen movie with too many receding hairlines.
asserted
it → know → hairlines
I know Grease 2 flips gender norms.
asserted
Grease → know → norms
I know Pfeiffer’s gum-acting is outstanding.
asserted
acting → know → ?
I know, I know, I know.
asserted
I → know → ?
I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want anybody else to talk about it either.
asserted
anybody → want → it
It’s like I’m an archivist who has held a delicate ancient document in a climate-controlled environment for decades.
asserted
who → ’ → decades
And now hordes are raiding the facility, exposing this precious article to harmful sunlight, pawing at it with their filthy fingers.
asserted
hordes → raid → fingers
I’m like Zmed’s pathetically possessive Nogerelli.
asserted
I → ’m → Nogerelli
My head says Grease 2 deserves its greasy flowers, but my heart seeks to trap it inside its own throbbing chambers.
asserted
heart → say → chambers
It’s not right – this pathetic jealousy, this Nogerellification of the soul – and I’m working through it slowly.
asserted
I → ’ → it
For now, I won’t be attending any free summer screenings or liking any Cool Rider step-ladder tributes on TikTok.
asserted
I → attend → TikTok
I’m not ready to encourage it.
asserted
I → ’m → it
But the film’s cult status is now firmly cemented.
asserted
status → cement → ?
Like the students of Rydell High, I must adapt to survive.
asserted
I → adapt → High
I do hope that one day soon, I’ll be able to look upon the Grease 2 revival with an open heart.
asserted
I → hope → heart
…and 2 more, not listed.
The Aporia
