THE POLLS HAD BEEN PREDICTING DOOM for his party for weeks, if not months.
asserted
POLLS → predict → weeks
But as the first election results began rolling in on Tuesday afternoon, pro-Trump pundit Benny Johnson couldn’t help feeling good.
asserted
Johnson → roll → afternoon
Republicans had captured the governorship of Guam by 1,020 votes.
asserted
Republicans → capture → votes
Johnson, the right’s most prominent memester, told his fellow kids that control of the island—far closer to Papua New Guinea than to the continental United States—was a massively good omen for Republicans’ midterm hopes.
asserted
control → tell → hopes
“An island that knows a lot about blue waves just went Republican!” he said.
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he → know → waves
The optimism didn’t last.
asserted
optimism → last → ?
Six hours after the big Guam win, as Democrats piled up electoral victories, Johnson was grimly intoning about the changing racial makeup of Texas.
asserted
Johnson → pile → Texas
By Wednesday morning, with Democrats looking at a massive House sweep and a minimum of 54 Senate seats, he could no longer pretend Guam was significant at all.
uncertain
Guam → look → seats
“What happened last night was a meteor strike and an unmitigated disaster,” he said.
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he → happen → ?
By Wednesday evening, having obsessively posted and livestreamed about the election for twenty-four hours, he professed emotional indifference to it all.
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he → post → it
“Notice how you don’t see any videos of Republicans bursting into tears, weeping and hysterical on social media after the loss?” he declared.
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he → notice → loss
“That’s because we have more to live for than party politics.”
asserted
we → ’ → politics
After seeing their party badly blow the midterms, conservative personalities are currently struggling to process the defeat.
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personalities → see → defeat
Delusion has become disbelief.
asserted
Delusion → become → ?
Disbelief has become despair.
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Disbelief → become → ?
And despair has become disgruntlement.
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despair → become → ?
Along the way, they are turning on one another.
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they → turn → one
On Piers Morgan’s election stream, anti-Israel libertarian comedian Dave Smith accused right-wing personality Jack Posobiec of misleading Republicans about the chances of a peace deal with Iran, prompting a tense on-air clash between the two.
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Smith → accuse → two
On the Daily Wire’s livestream, podcaster Matt Walsh said of the war in Iran that he would have preferred that Iran develop a nuclear bomb if that meant preventing a “Communist” victory in the midterms.
asserted
that → say → midterms
The claim amounts to a serious difference of opinion with hawkish Daily Wire boss Ben Shapiro.1
Meanwhile, anti-DEI activist James Lindsay, who has become an opponent of the Israel foes, groypers, and antisemites—whom he has collectively dubbed the “Woke Right”—called for his enemies to be purged from conservative institutions.
uncertain
enemies → amount → institutions
RIGHT-WING MEDIA has always been a fractious place even under the best of circumstances, featuring combustible personalities with flexible ethical standards clashing with one another in the pursuit of influence, followers, and money.
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MEDIA → feature → influence
A civil war has roiled the podcast right for over a year, turning intertwined issues like the Epstein files, Charlie Kirk’s murder, and the Iran war into the stuff of both conspiracies and blood feuds.
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war → roil → conspiracies
But the midterm rout, which none of these folks seemed to see coming, has cranked the stakes up to eleven.
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none → seem → eleven
That’s partially because right-wing media figures are worried about their future.
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figures → ’ → future
If no one wants to be a Republican anymore, who’s going to watch their podcasts and buy their brain pills?
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who → want → pills
But it’s also because there’s a genuine belief that the fate of their ideological projects is at stake.
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fate → ’ → stake
On Wednesday, Vice President JD Vance and Donald Trump Jr., two figures tied to the Iran war by their proximity to Trump, also took the dramatic step of blaming the midterm losses on the war.
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Vance → tie → war
And they weren’t the only prominent Republicans trying to create distance between themselves and the electoral catastrophe.
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they → try → themselves
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, now positioning himself as the country’s leading 2028 Republican and blameless for the war, said the midterms had been a near “extinction-level event” for the GOP.
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midterms → position → GOP
In the past, fickle as he is, Trump could have acted as a pillar of order for conservative media: Get in line behind him or lose your White House access and audience.
uncertain
Trump → act → access
But with Trump inexplicably choosing to spend the election aftermath on Wednesday touring the under-construction White House ballroom, shellshocked Republicans ran wild.
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Republicans → choose → ballroom
Even Brilyn Hollyhand, the Charlie Kirk knockoff who rose to a small level of prominence after Kirk’s assassination, criticized Trump for blowing a chance to rally the party.
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who → rise → party
So too did Walsh, who posted of the ballroom event, in which Trump seemed childishly gleeful watching beams being pulled by cranes: “This is far worse than I anticipated.”
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I → do → cranes
Still, most MAGA influencers proved not quite ready to criticize Trump directly, which led them to spin bizarre theories about what could have really resonated with independent voters.
uncertain
what → prove → voters
As an example, podcaster Liz Wheeler said Republicans would have won if only the Justice Department had arrested more deep-state operatives from the Biden administration.
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Department → say → administration
Surely that would’ve saved Kansas!
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that → save → Kansas
AMONG ALL THE HORRIBLE developments for Republicans that took place Tuesday night, perhaps the most alarming for online MAGA was the collapse of Texas Republican candidates.
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alarming → take → candidates
The state has been a bastion of the modern conservative movement, not just reliably red and with leadership willing to gerrymander the shit out of congressional lines, but also the right’s favorite contrast to hedonistic California.
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state → gerrymander → California
So when it became clear that Democrats were romping there, it led to an onslaught of white identity politics that could make the movement even more radioactive to voters.
uncertain
movement → become → voters
Like Johnson, personalities at the Blaze blamed nonwhite voters for sabotaging the Texas GOP.
asserted
personalities → blame → GOP
…and 10 more, not listed.
The Aporia
