I’d been traveling for about four hours when I finally checked in at Vivamayr, a luxury health spa in Austria where week-long stays start at around $7,000.
asserted
stays → travel → 7,000
Sitting on an idyllic lake in Maria Wörth, Vivamayr attracts guests like Bollywood stars and Hollywood celebrities (Elizabeth Hurley and Melanie Griffith, to name a couple)— and I was ready to see how the other half lives.
Exhausted and battling jet lag, I perked up when the front desk staff asked if I wanted a refreshment and eagerly requested a cappuccino.
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I → sit → cappuccino
But the woman’s expression immediately turned serious as she replied, “I’m so sorry, but we don’t serve coffee at the resort.
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we → turn → resort
That was the moment I realized this was a serious detox program I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
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I → realize → ?
As a travel journalist, I’ve stayed at my fair share of wellness resorts around the world.
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I → stay → world
While some of them focus on relaxation — think spa treatments, butlers and shaded cabanas — Vivamayr is more about the internal digestive makeover.
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Vivamayr → focus → makeover
The resort, I’d heard from a couple who stayed there, was “the real deal.”
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who → hear → couple
Since opening in 2005, it has become an annual destination for those looking to reset their gut health.
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it → open → health
One mother and daughter from New York told me they visit every year.
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they → tell → me
“Every time I leave here, my health is perfect.
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health → leave → ?
I go back home, my doctor gets my bloodwork, and everything is normal,” the daughter, in her late 50s, said.
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daughter → go → 50s
Add to that another glowing recommendation from a close friend who had been going for years — and swore that the Mayr Method healed her chronic gut issues — and I was interested enough to accept an invite to try out their detox program… even if their version of wellness is less about pampering and more about whipping bodies into shape.
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version → add → shape
The resort is founded on the principles of Modern Mayr Medicine, a method created by Austrian physician Dr. Franz Xaver Mayr.
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resort → found → Mayr
“Over a hundred years ago, [he] observed how closely digestive efficiency and intestinal health are tied to overall well-being,” Dr. Sepp Fegerl, the Head of the Medical Department at Vivamayr, told The Post.
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Fegerl → observe → Post
“The overall goal of the therapy, according to F.X. Mayr, is to use an individualized fasting, not to lose weight per se, but to restore the biological preconditions that make self-regulation and regeneration possible in the first place — through relieving the digestive tract, retraining eating behavior (especially chewing), taking care of personal intolerances, and targeted substitution of deficiencies.
uncertain
regulation → accord → deficiencies
The method revolves around 10 “Golden Rules.”
Chew every bite a minimum of 25-30 times
No drinks or liquids with meals
Eat relaxed; if there is no time to eat — skip the meal
No snacking between meals
No raw food after 4 p.m. (ex., fruits and salads)
Stop eating the moment you feel satisfied
Breathe through your nose while chewing
Food source, food preparation, food combination and food storage play a role in digestion
Daily rhythm is prevention and cure
Do not read, use a phone or use a laptop while eating
Toughing it out
My stay started with a 60-minute consultation, during which Dr. Fegerl went over my lab results and listened to my health concerns.
I told him about food poisoning I’d recently picked up in Costa Rica, which he suggested could explain possible parasites in my gut.
uncertain
he → revolve → gut
The doc prescribed me magnesium citrate — which has a strong laxative effect — to help clear out my gut.
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which → prescribe → gut
He advised me to take it easy for the next few days (i.e., no gym or sauna), admitting that it wouldn’t be pleasant as my body began detoxing.
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body → advise → days
The first 48 hours proved to be more challenging than I expected.
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I → prove → ?
I had a headache and felt extremely lethargic, which left me taking several naps a day.
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which → have → naps
By the second day, I became agitated and irritable, and as a heavy coffee drinker, all I fixated on was my morning coffee and a hearty meal.
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I → become → drinker
It was a far cry from my stay at Italy’s Hotel Hubertus, where I spent my days at my own leisurely pace, drifting between a sauna and steam room and napping on the lawn.
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I → spend → lawn
I can’t say I hadn’t been warned — even by other guests.
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I → say → guests
“On day 3 you’ll hit a wall,” one woman assured me on my first day.
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woman → hit → day
I had just woken up from a nap, feeling discombobulated.
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I → wake → nap
Meals were served three times per day, at least four hours apart, and got progressively lighter, with dinner usually being vegetable broth.
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dinner → serve → day
To eat, guests are assigned a table on the outdoor terrace with a colored place card and number corresponding to their personalized meal plan.
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guests → eat → plan
Neatly lined bottles of vitamins and medications tailored to your health await you at each meal, sometimes making it feel less like a wellness resort and more like a senior living center.
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it → line → center
I was given bitter drops and selenium pills with a card that read “Yellow #2,” which I later learned was one of the stricter meal plans.
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I → give → plans
I’d often look around in envy as I saw one elderly woman eating yogurt in the morning (I couldn’t have dairy) while another had a heaping bowl of cooked vegetables and slices of veal for lunch, which felt like a Thanksgiving feast compared to my celery soup and canapé-sized portion of roasted turkey.
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which → look → turkey
One woman proudly showed off her plate to another guest who replied with a chuckle, “Oh, you’re lucky, enjoy that!”
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you → show → that
Most guests were solo, so meals were often shared in silence with views of the lake.
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meals → share → lake
Phones are prohibited while eating to encourage guests to be present.
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Phones → prohibit → guests
Initially, the silence was awkward, but it gradually forced me to focus on the food in front of me and chewing.
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it → force → me
Over time, my hunger subsided.
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hunger → subside → time
The bells and whistles
Of course, the hefty price tag isn’t just for a limited diet — there are also a ton of treatments and tech.
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tag → be → treatments
My days were filled with customized treatments and therapies, which included oxygen therapy, an electrolysis footbath, forest walks, cryotherapy, a nutritional consultation, breathwork, an HRV stress test, a sea salt peel, regular abdominal massages administered by the doctor and even hypnosis.
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which → fill → doctor
Another session with the doctor involved applied kinesiology, or muscle testing.
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session → involve → kinesiology
Dr. Fegerl opened a drawer filled with tiny vials of various substances (i.e., coffee grounds, egg whites, etc.) and, like a mad scientist, he selected one for me to hold between my fingers.
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me → open → fingers
Lying down with one knee bent, he tested my muscle strength by asking me to push against his hand as he applied resistance to my knee and repeated the process with different vials.
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he → lie → vials
…and 15 more, not listed.
The Aporia
